The Egg and the Stone (البيضه و الحجر)

Tamido Production and Distribution

Presents

- Dear me! - Shut up, you witch

- What is it? - I don't know

- What's going on? - Beats me

- Oh, non! - Shut up, ladies

All you want is to scream

What is happening?

I don't know really

- What's going on? - I said, shut up

- Help us - Oh, what misery!

This is one big catastrophe

Somebody help us!

Zibakh Elteeby

If you don't like it, leave

Well, we'll never be any poorer

Who do you think you are? We've signed rental contracts

We pay rent, just like any fat-pig-tenant in any apartment

Watch your big mouth, washing girl!

I swear, if you don't shut up

I'll bang your skull with a bar and wail over your dead body

Dear me!

Get out of the way

Dear me!

Oh dear...

Police, help us, please

- What's going on here? - This man wants to ruin us

- He wants to bring us down - He wants to spoil our lives

He wants to turn us into faggots

They want to deter me from opening a room that I own

This room is haunted, sir

May God protect us from evil spirits

- Go away, spirits - Don't get angry

See these superstitious dimwits?

Shut up, all of you! Ask permission to speak

- Listen to me, sir - And who might you be?

I am Om Tarouta, an ancient tenant here

I've lived on this roof for thirty years...

when Sharnoub Shousha owned the building

Oh my! Will you tell the story of your life, Ma?

Be brief

In brief, someone was killed in that very room 25 years ago

He was massacred... torn to pieces

- The blood covered the walls - The blood covered the walls?

It was left empty for ten years

We'd hear voices and see real crazy stuff

The only person able to inhabit it was Zibakh Elteeby

He knew the underworld

He communicated with the spirits there and they co-existed

He protected us from their evils

I beg you, sir, don't open the room

I'm a lonely woman, my shadow spooks me

Oh, my! Open the room?!

I'm willing to pay the rent until Zibakh is back

Was Zibakh the previous tenant?

He was a sorcerer, he lived there without a contract

A year ago, he left and I got a police permit to re-possess the room

- Where is the permit? - I have it with me

Here you go

- Open the door - Oh, no!

Policemen serve and protect,

they don't mess up and wreck!

Oh dear!

What are you waiting for? Open the door!

My eyes!

Take cover

Hocus Pocus

Screenplay: Mahmoud Abu Zeid

They heard the word, from the chanting bird

This world is full of wonders

Some people toil all their lives

And others simply juggle eggs and rocks

Starring: Ahmed Zaki

Maaly Zayed

Mamdouh Wafy

Ahmed Ghanem

And: Mahmoud El-Sabaa

Those who strived and endured

Were called greedy slugs

And those who stole and stacked piles of money

Were treated with respect

Those who were content

Were treated with contempt

And those who raided and pinched

Are now filthy rich

They heard the word, from the chanting bird

This world is full of wonders

Some people toil all their lives

And others simply juggle eggs and rocks

Editing: Hussein Afifi

Cinematographer: Said Sheemy

Produced by: Medhat El-Sherif

Directed by: Aly Abd El-Khaleq

- Excuse me, please - Yes, sir

Where is the real estate broker here?

- Sitting over there - Thanks

You haven't found a tenant for that room for 6 months

Everybody is afraid to live there

Afraid of what? We read the whole Koran there

and we renovated and redecorated it

- Good morning - Hello

One moment, sir, please be seated

We have to find a tenant by any means

They all heard about what happened to your eyes

That was acute keratitis

From the hot pepper

that the tenants had thrown on the door

to prevent the spirits from leaving the room

Damn them!

I hope you get better soon

I will not take any rent from its tenant until he settles in

I hope we do find a tenant

If we don't, then it will be a big shame for all of Egypt

It'll be living proof of our ignorance

and of our poor cultural and educational standards

- Long live educational standards! - Who might you be?

I will save the face of our educational system

You will like the room, I'm sure

We are honored by your visit

- This way - After you

I didn't catch your name

Mostataa El-Taazy, high school teacher

- What do you teach? - Philosophy and Sociology

Greetings to the man of science

The man of enlightened thought and good comportment

Please, come in

Oh, my!

- What is it, gal? - Ugly creatures on a sunny day

- Who are you talking about? - The landlord. He's opening the room

Who's that guy with him?

A gullible tenant

- Wail, gal - Oh, dear!

Agony knocks on our doors!

Shut up, you stupid washing girl!

A dog may bark in my face

but I'm no dog to bark back

All they need is tails and they'll turn into mules!!

Did he bring you here without telling you the truth?

A man was killed in that room and his ghost is still at large

Is this ghost good or evil?

May God protect us from evil spirits

- A genie - Oh, now that's reassuring

Reassuring?

Genies are easier to live with, Miss

- Miss? - Sorry if I'm mistaken

No, I'm still a "Miss"

Ignore these riffraff and let's go

Regretfully, you'll share a bathroom with the beasts

- What? - Other people on the roof

I will not take rent from you for two months

until you settle in and make sure it isn't haunted

- How long? - Two months

- No good - How is that?

What are you thinking? Living here is risky

Who knows what will become of me?

You're the personification of enlightment and science

Any other person would have asked for life insurance

- if he considered this place... - Well, take your time

I'm traveling to have my eyes healed, after that we'll talk

I'll take my lute and suitcase, tomorrow I'll come back for the books

- Why don't you ever settle down? - Look for another roommate

I won't pay an extra penny to the landlady

She has a good reason, look at inflation rates

If the price of an object rises, I renounce it

Thus it becomes cheaper to me, however high its price is

No furnished flats goes for less

A room on a roof is sufficient

- Have some shame - I resist inflation by renunciation

If one of my needs becomes out of reach, I search for an alternative

Here

- I'll pay 120 and you pay 80 - All I make is 96 pounds

No one makes it on their salary alone

- How then? - Be artful

What you pinch, you reap

Give private lessons, give out notes to the students

- That is against rules - Rules were made to be broken

Thieves play hide and seek, and bullshit is the magic word!

- What did you say? - Preacher or pimp, money is what counts

I swear you are a clown!

I've never heard a journalist say hide and seek and limp pimp

I appreciate my peace of mind, I'm not into sleazy pranks

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I've heard of people who have seen them

I challenge you to find anyone who saw, they just heard fibs

- It is all superstition - You always argue

All religions touched on such issues

Religion doesn't say a dead man's soul spooks the living

There's a difference between being dead and being murdered

If the soul of a murder victim kills me, my soul will kill it back!

Cut that out

- Are you a musician? - I'm a teacher

- What about that lute then? - It is food for the soul

Soul! God protect us

- Tell me - Yes?

- Is the room really haunted? - That's none of my business

Don't keep me in the dark

Look, my knees are wobbly already

You wait and see

- Have you seen anything? - It's sunny at night

What do you mean?