Dark Honeymoon

You have an accident, sir?

Open your trunk, please.

- I don't have time to talk right now, okay.

I'm waiting for the FBI to get here,

and I've got dead bodies all over the county.

I've got a case to make.

Why?

'Cause I'm at work.

Why?

I gotta go, I gotta go.

I'll call you later.

Love you, bye.

Can I help you?

Sheriff Fields?

Yeah.

Special Agent McCloud, FBI.

I'm here to start a profile...

McCloud!

Yeah.

Glad to see ya.

We've never seen nothing like this here before.

Well.

Thank you for being so appreciative.

Most local sheriffs are not.

So tell me what you got on this guy so far.

- Well, we caught the son of a bitch trying to escape

into California.

That's when we discovered Sam Hackling's body in the trunk.

Sam Hackling?

Runs the motel.

Ran the motel.

Known him for years.

They butchered him.

That's what led us back to the motel

where we found the mask.

Five bodies there?

So far.

And we've got a suspicious car wreck

that might also be connected.

And a homicide just inside the California border.

So yeah, we got ourselves a real mess here.

And you think this is the guy?

Everything points in his direction.

Our suspect claims that Sam stumbled

upon the murdered young couple couple days ago.

He was bringin' 'em an ice bucket, blah blah blah.

Got that ice bucket you asked for.

So, what's the kid's story?

- Well, he keeps blaming a wife that we can't find.

Says they were on their honeymoon.

Some honeymoon, huh?

Yeah.

- Well, after two days the little bastard's story

hasn't changed a bit.

- Well, could you let me take a look at him,

'cause there's no photo off him in here.

Right through there.

My name is Special Agent McCloud, FBI,

and you are?

Paul.

Paul.

Well, Paul, I am here to try and sort this whole mess out,

but you're gonna have to help me help you.

You understand that?

Look, Paul, I don't know if you're innocent or guilty,

but I do know this.

If you're gonna have any kind of a chance here,

you're gonna have to trust

that I am going to take you seriously.

You understand that?

Okay.

So, you were here on your honeymoon, is that correct?

Yeah.

- Looks like things got a little rough, huh?

Okay, why don't you start right from the beginning

of your honeymoon.

Well, it didn't begin as I hoped.

I was sitting alone in my bedroom at my apartment.

Alone?

Where was she?

Her apartment.

It was her idea.

Wanna slip out soon?

I don't know.

How would you feel if...

What?

- It's just we've got that wonderful cottage waiting for us

on the Oregon coast.

Seems kind of tacky to spend our wedding night

in your apartment.

We'll go to yours.

It's even worse, trust me.

We've waited three weeks so it would be special.

I don't wanna spoil it.

So, what are you saying?

That we spend our wedding night at our own places?

Separately.

If that'll make you happy.

And you were okay with that?

No, of course not.

I was upset.

But not enough to kill her.

Paul.

Who said she was dead?

She's not.

That's why you've got a problem.

So, anyway, she said she was a virgin,

and wanted to make it special,

and that we'd wait until we get to the motel

You are such a sweetheart.

I hope you didn't mind having to sleep alone last night.

You've been so patient with me these past three weeks.

Don't worry, you're gonna be so happy that we waited.

You know what they say, patience is a virtue.

Want a cappuccino?

Sure.

That's what I'm sayin'.

Yeah, it's crap.

She just walked out.

Is that some bogus shit or what?

Oh, fuck her.

I'm not gonna put up with that kind of disrespect.

Gimme a macchiato and a finch.

Hey, not you, schmuck.

I'm ordering.

There's a line.

And use nonfat.

And I want a finch, no less.

Hold on a minute.

You know what a finch is?

Finch?

Inch of foam.

This is an inch.

Not this, but this, okay.

I know what an inch is.

I don't know.

Some dump on the coast.

Yeah, only place I could pick up a cell signal.

I know, I know.

Six months of marriage and she pulls this shit.

I'm a great guy, right.

Alfred?

Alfred, I'm a great guy, right?

Right, you know it.

You see it, everybody sees it.

What is she fuckin' blind?

What are you lookin' at?

Damn right she'll regret it.

Where is she gonna find anybody

who'll give her what I gave her?

Huh?

Snap it up, honey.

It's not brain surgery.

Let me guess.

This is your first day.

Well, while you're learning how to make a macchiato,

I'm gonna go...

Where's the men's room?

Hey, cutie.

Do you want me to go pee pee right here on the floor?

Where is the men's room?

Thank you.

No, stay with me.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Yeah, hold up, hold on, hold on.

No, no, sir.

Here in Oregon, we pump the gas.

All right.

Sure.

That's what I'm sayin'.

Yeah.

She got everything she deserved.

Yeah, she didn't have a fuckin' clue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You recognize that guy?

Yes, he was at the gas station.

Being pretty loud as I remember.

You know what happened to him?

Just what I read in the paper.

Mm-hmm.

Did you have any contact with him?

No, I was outside getting gas

while my wife was getting coffee.

Now that I think about it,

she never got coffee.

Line is too long.

Didn't wanna wait.

- You think she may have committed this murder as well?

Knowing what I know now, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, seems that we have confirmation

from the county clerk that verifies

that Mr. Paul White and Kathryn Neal were married

on April 1st.

See, she exists.

Now, will you get out there and find her

before she kills again?

No, son.

All that proves is that you got married,