Riverdale

We should've known better.

I should've known better.

We should've driven that damn car further out of town!

No, no. How could you have known that junkyard Steve

Drags the swamp for people's castoffs? It was dumb luck.

It's Jones luck, you mean.

Shouldn't Chic be here, considering he's the one that brained the guy?

Don't worry about Chic. Normally, I would disagree.

Definitely worry about Chic but he doesn't know anything about the car.

When we got to the swamp, we wiped the thing clean of fingerprints

Before we pushed it in. Wearing gloves?

I think so. I'm pretty sure.

What do you mean you "think so"? No, no. We were.

We 100% were.

If anybody comes around asking questions, we don't know anything.

We don't talk to anyone. We act like everything's normal.

Including, Betty, you coming home so you're not nesting with a bunch of serpents.

No, you are not gonna use this to manipulate me, mom.

You know the deal. I come home when Chic leaves.

Okay... everybody, be cool.

In the unlikely event that something happens, we batten down the hatches.

Until then, life goes on, and nobody goes anywhere near that car.

About last night, Archie,

My associates, Lenny Kowalski and Carl Martin.

My wife's mayoral campaign is making them anxious.

I thought Mrs. Lodge being mayor would be a good thing for everybody.

Men like Lenny and Carl see it as an act of hubris

That could bring us and our business, unwanted attention from the authorities.

I'm having dinner with them tonight in the hopes of smoothing it over.

But in the meantime, I need you to keep a close eye on Veronica.

Do you understand? Of course, I will.

But in addition to that, what if I came with you tonight, Mr. Lodge?

They know me from the poker game.

Andre and Adams will be there, but...

You do always find a way to make yourself useful, Archie.

And I've tried to get some of my old crew down from Montreal, but they've gone silent on me.

All right, you're in.

You promised us a war.

Then you're on stage looking like buddy holly, sucking up to the northside?

We need their votes, sweet pea. It's the only way that we can affect any change.

Whoever's elected gets a seat on the school board.

That means we're on the inside, that means that they can't silence us.

You and the northside princess, you mean?

Wait, is that why you guys are pissed?

Betty's on our side! Yeah.

I've helped the serpents on numerous occasions.

I helped find the pickens statue's head,

I got Cheryl to testify in court so FP, your king, could get early parole.

You did all that for your boyfriend, not the serpents.

All right, take it down, sweet pea...

What, it's only a matter of time before she bails on us, just like her mother.

Okay, so your objections aren't even about me, they're about my mom...

Her legacy, yeah. She's an enemy of the serpent state

Taking shots at us in the register for years,

Blaming us for crimes we didn't commit.

Running with a turncoat's daughter is a slap in the face.

And for that reason alone, you're not getting the serpent vote.

Let's settle this once and for all.

We're both bulldogs

Who, like wolves, support the Alpha.

Right now, we risk splitting our boys' votes, which I told Josie I could deliver.

Hence this contest. Mantle vs. Andrews.

Winner gets bulldogs' backing.

Give up! You're gonna lose, Andrews.

Same as your dad...

Talk about my dad like that again, and next time, I break your arm.

What do you mean, Cheryl's missing?

Do you remember how paranoid Cheryl was at her slumber party?

Saying that her mom and Uncle were out to get her? Mmm-hmm.

Well, I think they did something to her! What kind of something?

Her mom said they sent her off to some all-girls boarding school in Switzerland.

Well, that's easy enough to check, there's only one, surval montreux.

Please. If Cheryl was in the Swiss alps,

She'd be posting parka selfies every hour,

But her social media's been dead for days.

Wait, that's a sure sign of foul play.

Yeah. Whatever you need, Toni, I'm in.

Me, too. Even if we have to storm thistlehouse.

I believe I've deduced what's caused this imbalance in you, Cheryl.

And what would that be, sister Livingston?

I've spoken to your mother about your brother Jason.

And how close you were.

So close, in fact, that your Nana would sometimes mix you up, isn't that right?

She would dress you in Jason's clothes and he in yours?

Nana's always been half-blind, sister.

Cataracts.

But if there's anything that's affected my psyche,

It's the fire hose of abuse directed at me by my mother and my father.

You've suffered many traumas, it's true.

But that does not excuse your willful behavior.

Now, you will report to the undercroft immediately,

Where you will undergo physical therapy until you're ready to listen.

I'm not gonna mince words, hiram.

Your wife's campaign is risky, putting the families in the public eye.

But we understand that ours is a risk-reward business.

And your idea for a private prison is intriguing.

So the reward we want for our risk is a cut of the Riverdale pie.

How's 25% sound?

After your cut, I'd be operating at a loss.

So, Lenny, Carl,

Respectfully, I decline your kind offer.

With all due respect, hiram, you're all alone here.

Your boys from Montreal, from New York, they work for us now.

And who've you got out here in the boonies, hmm?

A couple of low-level capos and some zit-faced high school kid.

Mr. Kowalski. Mr. Martin.

Respectfully. Don't underestimate Mr. Lodge or me.

Archie. I rearranged Nick St. Clair's pretty-boy face for him.

I took care of poppa poutine after he conspired with you, Lenny.

And when some hillbilly threatened Mr. Lodge's daughter

At his safe house, I did the same thing to him, too.

So don't think for a second that we're defenseless.

You nearly had us there, red.

Hiram, consider our offer. Yeah.

In the meantime, we'll be sticking around Riverdale,

Taking in some of the local flavors. Sound good?

Yeah.

You were a mad dog in there, Archie. You do realize that, don't you?

I wasn't gonna let them disrespect you, sir. Not in our town.

Nevertheless, you fire a warning shot like that,

You gotta be ready to back it up, do you understand?

Good.

You're a good boy, Archie.

What do sweet pea and fangs want from me, anyway?

What will it take for them to accept me? Do I need to wear plaid?

Do I need to get a leather jacket? Or a snake tattoo?

To be fair, your mother is serpent enemy no. 1.

And meanwhile, the shady man's car is out there somewhere

And we have no idea what's going on with it.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that, actually.

I know that our parents told us to act "normal,"

And let sleeping dogs lie,

But riddle me this... What is our "normal"?

Normal is...

Investigating something when the entire world tells us we shouldn't.

Pumping our sources for information...

why do you guys even care about this car?

We don't, we care about the environment.

And we're writing an article about how people

Use swedlow swamp as a dumping ground.

The car's just part of a larger story.

Well, according to my dad, it was claimed by its owner this morning.

The owner...

Who's in Riverdale? Yeah.

Now they're trying to figure out who stole it in the first place.

Has shacking up together driven you both completely insane?

Talking to the sheriff's son about that car?

You didn't think that that was going to raise any red flags?

No. Kevin didn't suspect anything.

And at least, we know what's going on now.

Yeah. Which is that Chic's drug-dealer stole someone's car

Before he made his run to our house.

Dwayne didn't have wheels. He was always borrowing his girlfriend's car.

Someone called the shady man's phone while I had it.

And she sounded like a crazy person,

But not like there was a lot of love lost between her and Dwayne.

That could be Darla, yeah.

Is this Darla somebody that we need to be worried about?

Uh, I don't really know her.

Shocker! Gee, Chic,

Have you ever actually been helpful in any way to anyone?

Enough, Elizabeth! Right. Whoa, let's stick to the plan.

This has nothing to do with us.

Dwayne stole Darla's car, Darla got it back. Let's hope it ends there.

And pack your things, Betty, because this honeymoon is over. O-ver.

You two playing house and running around town

Like loose cannons is beyond the pale.

We don't want hal finding out about this.

The last thing we need is for him to stick his nose in it.

I'll move out.

I'll get a place, Betty. It's your house, not mine.

Fine.

I'll come back after Chic's gone.

Oh, I'm done with your ultimatums, young lady. You're coming home now!

And if you don't back me up on this, FP,

I will tear this trailer apart with my bare hands.

Fine.

I'll go get my stuff. I'll help you pack.

But, foolish girl, what have you done?

You've stacked the bags in the north-east corner,

When I specifically told you the north-west.

What? No, no, you said...

Start over. And next time, listen, child.

You'll never get better if you don't listen to me.

Now that you've barged your way in,

Go ahead, girls, ask your questions.

You said Cheryl was away at some boarding school?

Honestly. I'm not in the habit of explaining myself to school girls.

Maybe not, but Mrs. Blossom, you may have heard that my mother is...

Dating sheriff Keller.

If you won't tell us the truth, then maybe you'll tell him.

All right, then.

The truth is that Cheryl

Started exhibiting strange, deviant behavior,

So I've sent her abroad to a private wellness institute

Where they're trying to help her.

You don't have to believe me...

But here, let me show you something...

Oh my God! She's drawn dozens like it.

I don't understand. No.