Africa Salaryman (アフリカのサラリーマン)

Morning comes early in Africa.

Each day, the animals wake to greet the rising sun.

Drank too much last night.

Oh, darling, your breakfast is ready!

Thank you, dear!

I'll be down in a minute!

Back to the news.

First, we've seen an uptick in both road rage

and train-car gropings.

I am a lion.

Pass the pepper, would you?

Hm? Oh, sure.

Let's see.

Ugh, more fur.

Always with the fur.

I'm just your average salaryman.

Take the trash out when you leave!

Got it, honey.

See you tonight!

I get along with everyone at the office.

I even have a nickname. "Big Cat."

Oh, my goodness! Get behind me!

I beg you, sir, please don't eat my innocent baby!

But ma'am, I'm not going to--

Mommy!

No, no, it's not what it looks like!

I'd say I'm well-liked.

At least, I should be.

Morning, everyone.

Hey, Big Cat, it's good to see ya!

Welcome to work, sir.

Ah! Lizard! Why are you bleeding?

Sorry.

Well, I'm so glad you asked, my friend!

You'll never believe the crazy story behind this!

Tell me everything.

Okay.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

What kinda slowpoke animal's drivin' that thing,

a friggin' sloth? Move it, bub!

I'm driving a Lexun, I'm obviously more important

than you!

Every morning on the way to work,

I tailgate compact cars in my Lexun

and flip people the bird as I'm cutting them off.

It's a real rush of adrenaline.

Really gets me ready for my day y'know?

I don't know.

The news says that kind of thing is becoming

a serious problem lately.

You should probably stop doing it.

Anyway, my car's in the shop,

so I took the train for the first time in a while.

Ah...!

That store's supposed to say "Glasses,"

but the first part's missing.

Lizard. See that?

Look at what that store's called.

It's "Asses"! Ha, they sell asses!

Don't you see it? It's right in front of you!

Yes, I can see it!

It's "Asses"!

You should stop saying inappropriate things in public

or people will start labeling you as a pervert.

That's the beauty of it, Lizard. I am a perv.

Jeez, so touchy.

Whatever happened to free speech?

Huh? Who did that?

Hello?

Perv!

Uh...

This horny hornbill touched my butt!

Yeah, how dare you, you total creeper!

First, I'm a toucan.

And second, if you're angling for a check,

article 172 of the Penal Law

says a false complaint can put you in prison

for up to ten years, so suck on that, ladies.

So mean!

Don't you have something nice to say to us?

--Huh, mister? -- Shut up, ugly.

I hope you die.

Please! Wait just a minute!

It's true this man is an absolute birdbrain,

but he's no pervert.

What a hunk. He's totally my type.

Hey, thanks for stickin' up for me and all,

but you did still call me a birdbrain, so...

Think about it this way, girls.

No salaryman would put his career on the line

to hassle women, especially someone like him

who needs to pay off a luxury vehicle he can't afford.

The risk would be much too great!

Yeah, like we'd believe that!

You better show me some proof pronto!

Here, take a look at his phone then.

Ah--!

This man isn't attracted to young girls like you.

Oh, no, only the most professional of MILFs

will do the trick! Mm-hmm.

Oh, thanks for kink-shaming me in public, dude.

Have I made it perfectly clear?

Again, thanks for your help,

but do you really think that's enough to convince them?

Ew! So disgusting!

What is wrong with you? You sicko!

Look, give me your contact info.

I'm totes about to sue you for psychological trauma.

What the hell?

You're hitting on me now?

This chick's crazy!

Next stop, Savannah.

I repeat, next stop, Savannah.

Listen, Lizard.

We'll never get anywhere with the Lyin' Lioness

and the Gruesome Gorilla.

Better to make a run for it.

Run from two girls who weigh 60 kilos each?

How's that work?

I've got an idea!

Oh? And you need that?

Hey, what are you doing?

--Ow! No! No! -- And, snap!

Quick, run while they're distracted!

Someone, anyone! I'm bleeding out, crap!

Long story short,

I'm not gonna ride the train anymore for a while.

Agreed.

That sounds terrible.

I hope your tail heals fast.

Oh, yes, that reminds me.

-- --

If I buy you lunch, will you please get over it already?

Kill yourself.

Oh, and the big guy wants us to grab some donuts

for the office, so we'll do that too.

Ugh. Really?

What does he think we are, interns?

Hey, it's not my money!

Haven't been to a donut shop lately.

There're so many varieties-- Oh, no!

A tasty-looking fly...

But...

I'm a sophisticated lizard.

It would be shameful to snap it up in a public place!

-- Yum. -- Oh, my.

Dude, did you think I wouldn't notice that?

You're such an animal!

You better pay for this donut order,

before I send this video to everybody in the company!

Ugh, boorish bird.

Here's your change and your point card.

Earn reward points to score a free gift?

It'll expire soon, though.

Give it to someone.

Yeah, good idea.

'Scuse me, ladies.

Hate to interrupt your selfie-snapping,

but I'll give you this point card if you meet me

in the bathroom for a little you-know-what!

Oh, my god, it's that guy.

The perv from this morning!

No! Not again!

Phew, that was a mess, huh?

Yes, it was.

And the whole thing was your doing.

Uh, yeah, but don't forget,

I was also the one who got us out of it!

I see.

You want me to praise you for sacrificing my tail.

Now for the next crisis.

Would'ya look at him?

Hm?

He's been scowling like that for a while now.

Even scarier than usual!

What did you do this time?

Uh, kinda hard to narrow it down.

You really do make me sick.

Let's see...

Hey. Big Cat!

Guess what, buddy?

I have an oseibo gift for you, too!

Well, what could it be?

You'll love it!

Aw, yeah, come to daddy!

You're mine!

You do that kind of thing all the time.

It was probably...

Oh! Hey. Big Cat!

You need something?

Ta-da!

I brought you a cat teaser and a head massager!

Oh and beeteedubs, I kinda leaked

our client info yesterday.

You're not mad, right?

He wouldn't be mad about somethin' that tiny.

This guy's the king of the jungle, remember?

Yeah, yeah, but here, he's just middle management.

You know, the more I think about it,

the more I realize it's not me. It's you.