The Neighborhood

What?

Baby, are you watching Real Housewives?

I was gonna change the channel, but then somebody

threw a glass of wine and somebody flipped a table

and two hours later, I'm Team Teresa.

Well, I'm Team Brandi.

She could get hit by a table and keep on drinking.

Where's Malcolm?

Oh, he's on a date with Sofia.

Again?

Wow, this is getting serious.

I can't believe I still haven't met that girl.

And I can't believe Teresa thinks she can

flip over that giant...

Oh, no, she did it.

Oh, hey, guys.

Tina, did we order two white people?

Uh, no, uh, I did.

But don't worry, I'll take 'em to go.

So what's going on?

Marty invited us to trivia night

down at Ernie's Hot Spot.

These Pasadena peeps can't wait to play.

Who are the Johnsons?

Let me grab my jacket and we'll go.

Well, how about you guys? You want to join us?

Uh, thanks, but I'm gonna stay in.

I already took my bra off.

- Calvin, you want to come? - Are you kidding me?

The last thing I want to do is sit around

with a bunch of eggheads

racing to answer "what's the biggest lake in Africa?"

Lake Victoria.

Trivia isn't exactly my dad's thing.

The only facts he knows are the ones that he makes up.

And a lot of the times he's wrong about those.

Ho, ho. So y'all think y'all smarter than me?

Ha. Smart enough not to answer that question out loud.

Well, you don't know what I know.

I know stuff that I don't know that I know I know.

Well, so you're in?

Hell yeah I'm in.

And, uh, for your information, Tina,

penguins can fly.

They just cool where they at.

Come on, Dad, think. We need your answer.

Okay, hold on, hold on, now.

You want to get this right, don't you?

I'm gonna order the buffalo wings.

I'm guessing this is a slightly

different crowd than your dart night.

Sure is. A lot younger.

More man buns.

And I heard some clown order a gin and juice

with no gin.

Where is my juice? I ordered it ten minutes ago.

All right! Welcome to trivia night at Ernie's Hot Spot,

sponsored by Carla's Fluff and Fold.

Tell her I sent you and get one free fluff.

Okay, y'all know how it works.

I spin the wheel and read the questions,

you write down the answers and order at least three drinks.

"Astronomy." "Shakespeare." "Foreign Films."

Shouldn't those all be under one category

called "Who Cares?"

Dad, I like all those things.

I know. Who cares?

Okay,

first category is...

Ooh, "World Flags."

Okay, here we go.

What is the only country

whose flag has five sides?

I got this one.

Stop sign.

Uh, Dad, that's an octagon.

I don't care what kind of government it is.

Okay, I know this one.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

I know it definitely starts with an "L".

It's Nepal. Or ends with an "L".

Don't worry, sweetie, you were about to get it.

You weren't.

Okay, everybody, boards up.

The correct answer

- is Nepal. - Yes!

And for everybody who got that right,

hike your way to the bar and buy yourself a Fuzzy Nepal.

Okay, good warm-up. Just got to focus.

Which would be so much easier

if I had my juice!

Okay...

Ooh!

- Chemistry. - Yes!

Pb is the chemical symbol

for what common element?

Ah, I know this one.

Plubonium.

Final answer.

Seriously, Dad? That's not even a...

I said final answer.

Gu-Guys, this is all me. Just give me a second.

Pb. Pb.

PB and J. Aw, great.

Now I'm hungry, too.

It's lead.

Boards up.

The correct answer is lead.

- Yeah. - Nice, Marty.

- All right. You and me got this. - Yeah.

Hey, we're here, too.

Yeah, I know, but I still think we can win.

Hey, Ma.

Hey. Did you have a good time with Sofia?

Yes, I did. It was great.

Oh. How long have you two been seeing each other?

Uh, I don't know. Maybe like two...

73 days!

When am I gonna finally meet this girl?

Look, I don't know, Ma. Uh, soon, okay?

Well, what's the problem?

You act like you're afraid to introduce her to me.

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on that, Ma.

I am terrified.

Oh, uh...

Malcolm, why?

Because every time I bring a girl home,

you grill her like she knows who shot Tupac.

Oh, please.

All moms ask questions.

Oh, really? Do all moms open with,

"Hey, I'm Tina. Do you want

and are you able to have kids?"

Well, what can I say? I'm a people person.

I want her to make me more people.

Hey, Dave.

Hey, Calvin.

Congrats on the, uh, big trivia win last night.

Yeah. You too.

Marty was on fire.

- So was Gemma. - Yeah.

- Did you see how smug he was? - She was being such a show-off!

I mean, just because I didn't go to college,

he thinks he's smarter than me?

Well, technically, it's not "smarter than me,"

it's "smarter than I."

But yours sounds way more right.

All I know is that game wasn't fair.

It was rigged for book-smart nerds like Marty.

- I regret the day he learned to read. - Yeah.

You know, the only reason that Gemma beat me to those answers

is because I always overthink things.

Or do I?

I mean, they may have book smarts,

but we've got street smarts.

Yeah, you know what, of we had another chance,

we would bust a cat in their ass.

It's-it's a "cap," Dave, not a cat.

That does seem a lot easier.

But like you said,

what if we had another chance?

You mean go back to Ernie's next week?

No. No, no, no.

I got a better idea.

We're gonna level the playing field.

- Oh, I see where you're going. - You do?

Not at all, but I trust you.

- So, do you eat sushi a lot? - Not often.

But I did once swallow Marty's goldfish on a dare.

Oh, my...

Oh, my goodness.

Malcolm, what are you doing here?

You mean eating at the place I told you I would be?

You did?

That must be why I'm in the mood for sushi.

Ah... So, uh,

aren't you gonna introduce me?

Mom, this is Sofia. Sofia...

prepare yourself.

It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Butler.

So nice to meet you, too.

Scoot over, Malcolm.

Uh, Ma, this is awkward.

Ew, so is eating with sticks.

A sister's gonna need a fork up in here.

Thanks for helping us, Marty.

Yeah, us two dummies,

we tried everything,

but we couldn't get the Wi-Fi to work.

Routers can be pretty complicated, especially when

you haven't plugged them in.

Oh. Hey, guys.

What are you all doing?

Well, one of us is plugging in your router

and the other two are acting super sketchy.

Dave, what's going on?

It's rematch time!

You two are going down.

Welcome to Trivia Night, Home Edition.

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