Rick and Morty

Step away from the Tarnation Casket, Baron Thistle.

You cannot stop me, Arbor Knight.

Once the stream is activated,

the negative feedback will rip your world apart.

We have 1.32 minutes before the...

What the fuck is happening?

Are you following any of this?

I'm so lost.

Should we turn the subtitles back on?

-Shh! -...nano-configuration,

causing the Tarnation Casket to self-implode.

But that's impossible!

Nothing's impossible.

We're the Robo-Trees.

You're Arbor Knight, our leader.

Red Wood, you're the hothead.

Palme D'or, you're our resident super-genius.

Cypress, you're our girlboss boss-lady.

And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get your rears in gear. Whoo.

Did he seriously reintroduce each character?

-This is the ninth movie. -Die, Tannenbaum! You suck!

Guys, you're talking over the whole ending.

This is not over, Robo-Trees.

Your day of reckoning will soon be at hand.

Don't just stand there, Red Wood. He's still in range. Shoot him!

You're literally holding a gun.

Robo-Trees, let's go home.

Yeah. I need a bath.

'Cause I'm stinky.

It's a Maximum Velocitree...

Ugh. Not exactly Citizen Kane.

I kinda loved it.

Oh, God. Rick! What are you doing?

I don't know what to do with these feelings, Jerry.

This used to be my favorite franchise.

Maybe it's time to like something else.

No! I wanna talk to the manager.

-You in charge? -Yeah.

I'm James Gunn.

Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk.

What was up with that last Maximum Velocitree?

-You didn't like it? -I thought it was great.

You're ruining my childhood. Which is still ongoing.

Stop eating up screen time with stupid comic relief characters

and put more cool shit in the story!

Guys, I'm a fan too.

Why do you think Warner Bros. put me behind that desk you now owe me?

So you could pitch Batman ideas to yourself?

Exactly.

And you know what I've learned?

Making movies isn't easy.

The next Maximum Velocitree movie has been rewritten 40 times.

Thirty by me.

Now, we'll spend five years and half a billion making it,

but in the end, know what will make fans like you like it?

-A fucking miracle. -No.

What the next Maximum Velocitree film needs is us.

I'd like to see you try--

-Hey! -Time to fix this broken franchise.

Good luck doing anything with that script.

It's watermarked!

I'll get an Uber.

I don't know, this script is pretty good.

-Give that back, Dad. -Whoa, what's that?

The Movie-lizer.

It makes movies at the speed of thought.

I invented it during the title sequence.

Let's see what James Gunn had cookin'.

For the honor of the Robo-Tree.

Time to die.

With the power of friendship!

Yikes. Citizen Kane doesn't strike again.

Oh, he will.

The Movie-lizer uses a prompt-driven CPU.

I just type whatever tweaks I want, and it auto-generates the rest.

Hell yeah. Make it lose that bad guy.

Baron Thistle hasn't been cool since the third movie.

Let's kill two birds with one prompt.

Till we meet again, Robo-Trees.

Wait. Where did this gun come from?

Whoopsie.

Hey. That man was unarmed.

Yeah, man. Uncool.

It was an accident.

-So awesome. They hate him. -Here. Watch this.

I sentence you to life in prison

for unlicensed murder.

Oh, please.

Isn't some of the stuff you're messing with important?

Oh, fuck the fuck off, Jerry.

That formula-driven, "Save the Cat" bullshit

is what killed the last couple of movies.

That's right, Morty.

We're gonna make the people care about the Robo-Trees again.

Movie-lizer, make us care.

Where are we?

Oh, shit. Morty, look.

Oh my God.

It's Robo-Tree Headquarters.

Wait, how... how is this happening?

-Intruders! -Let's go.

Stop them.

Fuck. The Movie-lizer Last Action Hero'd us.

We're characters in the movie now, Morty.

-It hurts. -Are you guys okay?

I mean, I can see you're being shot at.

Dad? Holy shit,

I can hear your internal dialogue in my head.

Is the machine supposed to work like this?

No. The Movie-lizer malfunctioned.

Now the Robo-Trees are trying to kill us.

Really? Uh, let me try something.

-What the hell is this? -A 2007 Kia Spectra.

I thought you could use a cool getaway car.

-Are you kidding me? This car sucks. -The joke's on you.

Edmunds Car Report gave it three stars.

It's a family sedan! Shoot it!

Better than nothing. Let's go.

How are we gonna get outta here?

The Movie-lizer might eject us once the story is over.

Jerry, type that we skip to the end, and everything works out.

I don't think I can, guys.

It says the script is 3,000 pages and counting.

Also, there's an error-thing bleeping that says,

"antagonist not found" and "no third act."

Without an ending, you'll be stuck in the movie forever.

God damn it.

You cut a bunch of stuff out willy-nilly.

What did you expect?

Look, I understand story. Let me just put everything back

-that you took out and-- -Jerry, stop.

You'll only make things worse. You're a terrible writer,

and you should never, ever get on the keys.

Well, excuse me for living.

Alright, we killed the villain, gotta undo that.

Didn't they use lightning to bring George Washington back to life

in Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies?

Hold on. The machine doesn't hate that...

See? This is going to work.

We'll bring back Baron Thistle and give this stupid thing an ending.

Use your blinker! Fuck off!

Okay, all we need now is a little lightning.

-We're back, baby! -It worked.

Look out! Zombie!

Dude. We just brought him back.

Fucker bit you.

Wait! The Movie-lizer is detecting a new antagonist.

I don't see any--

Guys, this new character has given you

a 20.5% better chance of ending the movie.

-But I am in pain. -So we're back on course?

Sort of. You still need a third act.

In the original draft, Baron Thistle was gonna

kill Tannenbaum in front of the Robo-Trees...

That would've been a cool ending.

Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started?

You do kinda look like him.

You want me to kill Tannenbaum?

Whatever works.

Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum out of jail,

reunite him with the Robo-Trees, and then Morty will kill him.

Does the machine recognize that as an ending?

Hold on.

It does! Kinda bleak, though.

Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

You're the new bad guy.

Hook up with the Hench-Weeds and give the Robo-Trees

something to stop.

-Something to stop? What's that mean? -See you in the third act!

Extra creatine, please.

-Yo, James Gunn. -Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.

Just saw your new cut of Superman, and word of advice,

he's the Man of Steel, not the Man of Conversation.

-Okay. -Do more shots of him punching.

And here's a secret move.

Start the punch at regular speed,

and then you're gonna ramp it down.

It's not a fucking secret!

I'm sorry, Zack Snyder.

I shouldn't be lashing out at you. Your biceps are the size of my head.

Yes, but so is my heart. What's going on with you?

Some fan of the Velocitree franchise got onto the lot today.

He used a portal, and he just...

Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience, are we?

I mean, I gave notes on the goddamn Count Chocula movie

-this morning-- -Was the portal green?

That's Rick Sanchez.

Gunner, that's the guy that sealed Nolan

in the giant bookcase

to quote-unquote punish him for Interstellar.

He doesn't represent real fans.

He's just the smartest man in the universe.

Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do.

Probably.

Gonna go crush some weights.

One day you're gonna wish you hit the gym

like I do, James Gunn.

Hello?

Is this Baron Thistle's evil base?