Yu Yu Hakusho (幽☆遊☆白書)

Locked in the Dark Tournament finals,

Kurama used Suzuki's mystical item to once again transform

into the powerful Spirit Fox, Yoko.

But just as Karasu was about to be crushed,

the unmasked demon pulled off

a radical transformation of his own.

With an explosion of force,

he sent Kurama back to the weaker human body of Suichi.

In a desperate last-second attack, Kurama,

knocked to the ground, sprung forth a lethal plant,

killing Karasu and drawing the first match

to a sudden conclusion.

And winner by total gross-out is Kurama

and the folks at Team Urameshi!

We did it! In your face!

You made a nice flowerpot out of him, Kurama!

Yes, good fun all around.

They don't look like the team that just lost a match.

What do they know that we don't?

I wonder how the committee will rule?

How ya feelin' there, champ?

Fine.

Hey! Be careful!

I'm sorry, Yusuke.

Why?

If only I could have lifted myself

a fraction of a second sooner.

Who cares, you won!

It's unwise to be so confident before an official announcement.

And the official announcement says

the winner of match one is Karasu!

What?!!

Huh? And now the fair and impartial Juri

is saying that the winner was the late Karasu.

I could've sworn I saw Kurama destroy him with my own eyes!

It's not fair! These judges have had it out for us

since the first day!

Yeah, I've seen wrestling matches less rigged.

Hey, you with the big fish ears,

I've got a bone to pick with you!

How does a dead guy win?

Hold it. I'd like it if you removed your hand.

I'd like you to remove your head from your ass!

But I don't see that happening anytime soon!

I won't talk to you!

Until you learn how to keep your grimy fingers to yourself!

I'll put these grimy fingers through your face

if you don't tell me how the hell the breathing guy loses!

Fine! Your friend lost the dumb match because

he was down for ten seconds after I started counting!

Oh, well then why didn't you say so?

Jack-ass!!

Hey! Kurama, you know what she's talkin' about?

Yes, I'm afraid.

Uh, what probably happened here

is that Juri confused Karasu with Kurama

because both had long hair and both their names start with K,

which is an easy mistake to make

if you're not an experienced referee who got promoted

from serving cocktails at the...

I've just been handed a mysterious unmarked videotape,

so without further ado, let's go to movies!

So far, this rerun has yet to reveal anything

we didn't already know, though it is cool to watch

the blood splatter in slo-mo!

Ah, here it is!

As you can see, I began the count

like a responsible ref once Kurama hit the ground.

He is the one with the red hair, right, Koto?

Ten point two eight seconds.

Gee whiz! Point two eight seconds, huh?

But because Kurama stayed down

for that much longer than the count,

and didn't hit Karasu until after the fight

was technically over,

we have for the first time in the history of this Tournament

a winner who's dead and a loser who's not.

He's not a loser!

We know who really won!

Yeah, I knew all those humans

were a bunch of no-good cheating scum!

All Team Toguro needs is two more wins!

They're so close I can taste it!

Two more to go! Two more to go!

Two more to go! Two more to go!

You keep living by your stupid rules.

Next time we'll win.

Can you walk?

Shut up! That's not even a clever chant!

No one seems to be taking into account our moral victory here,

at least everyone on our team is alive.

You just don't get it.

Oh, you all shut up for the shoulder monkey!

Because they know whenever I open my mouth,

I have something of importance to say.

Your observation is, as usual,

shortsighted and quite incorrect.

Hey, what's that s'posed to mean?

Even if by cruel cosmic joke

you survive your matches,

you forget the champions are each granted a wish.

Once our team wins and mine is awarded,

I'll wish for the death of all your friends.

Kill the humans! Spill their blood!

Shut it, green pea!

Like your species is really all that great!

Yeah and I'm sick of your arrogant, obnoxious horns!

They're blocking our view!

I can't help it I was born this way.

Does he really want us all to die?

Don't worry, he's only kidding.

I've had it up to here with this moronic chanting!

Forget world peace. Now I'll just wish for muzzles!

Want to know what I will wish for when we beat them?

The bloody death of every member

of that corrupt Tournament Committee,

so that I'll never be pulled into one

of their carnivals again.

And even to the loser go the spoils.

We've already granted his wish, haven't we Toguro?

I seriously doubt Hiei would have been invited

to return anyway, after we tear his body into sections.

But before my wish can be fulfilled,

I'm going to enjoy very much beginning

the annihilation of you, personally.

Go ahead. I'll graciously allow you to pick your first martyr.

Oh, Bui, I wasn't expecting you to step forward so soon.

You must be special. He rarely shows this much initiative.

This should be dandy.

Whichever one of you gets to fight Bui

is in for quite the treat.

He has the strength of a thousand oxen.

Oh yeah? Well take a look at these big guns I got here!

Let me go at this guy!

So, you want to be buried in that or something decent?

Now that you're close to my height, junior,

why don't you say that to my face?

You want a grave or a tomb?

Yusuke.

I planned on taking the thug with the sunglasses for myself,

but after what he did to Genkai,

I believe vengeance belongs to you.

Thank you.

Hiei?

But this thug will do just as well.

But, hey! I thought I had the big guy!

What about burial flowers? Do you like roses?

Would you please be quiet? I'm trying to think here!

Measuring at four foot ten without his hair, Hiei!

At nine feet, Bui!

Wow! Nine feet, that's tall,

and its more than enough man to go around ladies.

Then again, Hiei has proven on numerous occasions

that kick ass things come in short packages, too!

I have absolutely no idea who's gonna win this one, people,

but I can state with certainty that it's gonna be exciting!

Oh my! Is it my imagination, or has Bui's axe gotten even bigger

since last time he formed it from thin air!

I can't wait to see how he wields it this go round!

Serves Hiei right!

Why's there never a slingshot when you need it?