Honeymoon Crasher (Lune de miel avec ma mère)

And now, let us proceed with the exchanging of vows.

Lucas Duvivier, do you take this woman, Elodie Fabergé,

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

-It's not too late for him to say no. -You're impossible.

Yes!

Perfect.

They're so sweet!

Very good.

And you, Elodie Fabergé, do you take this man, uh… Lucas Duvivier

to be your lawfully wedded husband?

My bad, I'm so sorry.

I would like to remind everybody that all mobile devices

must be switched to "wedding mode."

-Thank you. -"Wedding mode."

Now, where were we?

Elodie Fabergé, do you take Lucas Duvivier to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Are you serious? Shh, turn it off!

-Oh, what? Come on! -I'm sorry.

-It's Damian. -What?

-Damian! -I'll start again.

Elodie Fabergé, do you take this man…

-Who is it now? -It's still one of her friends.

You have to stop calling!

We're in the middle of the wedding now.

I think that's enough. Hey!

Okay, calm down. Take a breath!

Elodie, I'm so sorry. Apparently, this can't wait.

What?

Here, pass it up.

Here, quick. Take it!

Hey wait, Elodie You're not actually answering that?

Lucas, I just need a second. Okay? I'm really sorry.

Okay. Hello?

-What's going on? -So unbelievable, what is she doing?

It sounded important.

-Why couldn't it wait? -An emergency.

An emergency?

Well, you're crazy! I'm about to get married.

You called on my wedding day!

-Why are you telling me this now? -Who is it?

Yeah. Of course, I remember the trip to Capri.

-What? -How could I forget?

How could I forget?

I've never felt that way about anyone either.

-Who is that? -It's her ex.

-What? -It's her ex.

Okay. Darling, I think it's time to hang up now, alright?

Miss, please, everyone here is waiting for your answer.

Do you take this man to be your husband?

-Yes. Of course I do. -Okay we're good.

-She said yes. -We're all set.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.

No, I said "no" but not to you. I said "I do" to you. Get it?

If I may, let me see if I have this right. Fine.

-When you said, "You do"… -Yes.

-…you meant "You don't". -No! That's not true!

-I thought you were in Australia-- -We need to know, is it a yes, or a no?

Uh… Maybe-maybe yes.

-I'm a little lost, here. -What?

-What did she say to whom? -I have no idea.

-You don't? Or…? -So yes?

I'm so sorry, Lucas. I…

I can't do this.

She's saying, no?

I'm sorry.

-Where's she going? -Elodie?

Elodie? Elodie!

Oh, my poor dear.

I'm afraid that was an "I don't."

I'm- I'm so sorry, Lucas. I…

I can't do this.

I'm so sorry, Lucas. I…

I'm so sorry Luc--

How are you?

Mm.

Yeah, I know. I heard about, um…

That must've been so hard for you.

Yeah, yeah, it's not easy.

You're a good guy.

And you're handsome. Really?

You're still the cutest teacher in the whole school.

Who knows? You may find someone sooner than you think.

I know this isn't the right time but…

Oh, Lea.

I mean I agree there's something between us.

But it's still a bit too soon for me.

-Lucas? -Yeah?

Uh… That isn't my phone number.

It's my bank information.

The other teachers and I hoped you might reimburse the money we pooled

for your wedding gift 'cause there was no wedding. Hm?

No rush though.

I mean, don't leave it too long either.

Yeah, hi, Corinne, it's Lucas.

Um. Could you please tell Elodie…

Uh. You can tell your daughter it's fine 'cause I've moved on.

How could she rip out my heart?

You're an asshole! With an ugly face!

I just want you back.

Elodie?

-Hello, sweetie! -Hello, hello!

-We're here! -It's us!

We saw the caterer and picked up the food for the reception.

We already took some for ourselves.

Okay, sweetheart.

I know things must look dark right now. But trust me on this.

There's always light, at the end of the tunnel.

Or a train.

You still have the toolbox I gave you for Christmas?

A drawer in your kitchen's not closing great.

Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to come by, but I wanna be alone right now.

Wait a minute, what's that?

-This is beautiful! -Wow!

BLISS

It's the brochure for the honeymoon with Elodie.

You were taking her there?

Mm.

It's the most beautiful resort in Mauritius.

Shit, must have cost you a fortune!

Don't remind me. I had to take out a loan.

And to make everything worse, I can't get a refund.

Well then, go! It'll be good for you.

-Oh yeah, sure. I'll just go by myself. -I could always go with you if you wanted.

Mom, do you hear what you're saying?

-I can't go on a honeymoon with my mother. -I know that, Lucas. I was just kidding.

Fine, I'll call the agency and make them refund you.

You can't let people walk all over you.

-No, Mom! -Yes.

If it wasn't for me, nothing would get done!

You know Lucas. After our wedding,

we were planning to go to Rio.

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo. You know?

Your mother was so excited. But then… with my work…

and you being born, the house…

Life got in the way.

We never got to go.

Shit, it's Elodie.

-Give me a sec, Dad, okay? -Of course. Tell her hi!

So that's your best solution?

Elodie?

Who do you want him to go with, huh? His mother?

-I'm really glad you called. -Oh really?

-I would've thought you wanted me dead. -What? I can't hear. Where are you?

I'm at Damian's work. See? It's cool!

Wait, I thought the guy was a car mechanic.

Uh, no. I said he worked in the auto business, that's all.

-You okay? Who is that? -It's Lucas.

Ouch, that sucks, poor guy.

He's so nice.

I really like you, Lucas.

It's just that with Damian, everything works.

Look, Elodie, if you're gonna rub it in, I'll just--

No, no, no, wait, wait, don't hang up! Hang on.

I wanted to say…

On our wedding day. It's silly but I forgot my keys in your apartment.

We're going to the Miami Grand Prix next week

and I don't have anything to wear.

Can I drop by early next week?

-Afraid not. -Why not?

Because next week is… well, it's impossible.

Why's that?

-Because I'm going to Mauritius, remember? -Wait, you're still going?

-Alone? -What do you mean "alone"?

You don't think you're irreplaceable, do you?

Okay, great… So who's my replacement?

That's none of your business.

Lucas, sweetheart! Where did you put your passport?

Lucas.

Give me your passport, please. That way I know you won't lose it.

-Mom… -What?

Hi. Congratulations on your honeymoon, compliments of the airline.

-Oh… -That's so sweet. Here you go honey.

-Thank you! -You're welcome.

Would you like a photo of the two of you?

-Nope, that's fine, thanks. -Yes! I'd like one.

-Gimme your phone. -Of course.

Here we go.

Wouldn't it be better to have one with a little kiss?

-Oh! -Go on.

Oh!

-Perfect! Have a lovely trip, you two. -Thanks.

HONEYMOON

WITH… MY MOM

Turn that frown upside down, Mister.

We used to smooch on the lips all time when you were a kid.

-Hm-mm. -Mom, quit it, would ya?

-Welcome. -Thanks.

Welcome to Mauritius.

Yeah, thanks.

Thank you.

-Welcome to paradise! -Hello. Hello!

I’m Gloria, the General Manager.

Nice to meet you, Gloria.

We just have one problem. We were told our room wasn't ready?

Ah, you've heard, then. Yes.

We've had a spot of trouble with the last guests,

but don't worry, because it'll be resolved very, very soon.

Yes, but the issue is that my wife is pretty tired.

I don't believe that, you look radiant, madam.

But we can offer you two cocktails as a consolation.