Xena: Warrior Princess

Yah, Argo! Yah!

Yah!

Yah!

The gods are throwing everything they've got at us!

-Xena, what'll we do? -Go!

Yah!

Easy, girl.

Well, Eve, that's one for the grandchildren, huh?

Not many babies can say they've been chased by a tornado.

Not many babies are being for the death of Zeus.

The gods aren't taking that lightly.

Gods… What do they know?

Fear… First time they're fighting for their lives.

Gabrielle, we've managed to handle it so far.

You're right. Tornadoes… Lightning… How could it get worse?

Xena! Gabrielle!

Hi. It's me. Don't… throw anything.

Joxer…

I… I… was lookin' for you guys ever since I heard about the baby being born.

Is that it?

Oh…

Oh, little baby, oh…

Oh, look at the little…

You're a chubby one. You've got little chubby cheeks.

-Yes, you do. -Don't scare her, Joxer.

I'm not gonna scare her.

-Joxer, her name is Eve. -You know… Looks just like you.

Eve, this is a very good friend of ours, Joxer.

-And who are your friends? -Who…

These… are the magi.

They came here to see you too.

It's ok.

She won't bite. Come on.

See? Told you they were my friends.

Funny thing… They followed a light all the way here.

Lightning?

Yeah. Light-lightning.

-What's this about? -A new day.

A new life for us all.

Your child issues in a new world, without gods.

A world where every man is master of his own fate.

And the birth… should not go unremarked.

Or uncelebrated, though the gifts we bring… are humble.

Won't you let us present them?

We've come so far… and every child deserves birthday gifts.

Well, since you brought 'em… be rude not to.

From the wide, fertile plains… and fields…

…I bring you grain to nourish your life.

Thank you.

From the orchards and groves, fruit… to sweeten her days.

From the essence of the sacred laurel…

…I bring you oil to soothe your way.

Laurels are sacred to the goddess Artemis.

The child must die.

In the time of ancient gods,…

…warlords…

…and kings…

…a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.

She was Xena.

A mighty princess…

…forged in the heat of battle.

The power…

The passion…

The danger…

Her courage will change the world.

XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS

Joxer!

Eve…

Baby.

Is she ok?

-Yeah, she's fine. -How's the baby?

Not a scratch. Hey…

-What? -Which is more than I can say for you.

Oh, it doesn't even hurt.

-Ow, it does now. -Ah… It's just a graze.

Gabrielle, clean it, would you?

I'm gonna check these guys out, find out who sent 'em.

Come on.

I smell a rat.

Come out, rat.

Rat? This is the thanks I get for delivering you from the storm?

Right into the hands of assassins.

Well, it sure beats playing tag with a tornado.

Besides… I knew you could take 'em.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

According to their amulets…

…these warriors came from three different temples.

Artemis…

-Poseidon… -And Apollo. Yeah, I know.

Their priests thought by killing you and Eve…

…it would score 'em some big points.

Apollo?

Joxer…

But enough about them. Let's talk about…

…us.

What, are you mad at me or somethin'?

I would be if it would do any good.

Joxer, you led three killers straight to Eve.

Well, you know, they were as much a surprise to me as they were to you.

That's what I'm saying. Everything is a surprise.

That was fine when it was just Xena and I.

But now, there's Eve to consider.

What, did you think I would hurt Eve?

I don't think so, Joxer,…

…but you just don't realize that your actions have consequences.

Like this wound, for instance.

-I got it tryin' to help you, you know? -No, I didn't need your help.

If you had just stopped to think about that, you would have seen.

No, you just go charging in there.

Well, fine. Maybe I won't charge in next time.

That's my point. I don't want you to.

Oh, good, good. Oh, great. Well, then…

…you maybe you won't mind finding your heads lopped off next to your feet…

-…when you wake up in the morning. -Yeah, well…

I can sleep better at night knowing you're watching my back.

Gabrielle, Joxer…

-What? -What?

Come here. Gimme a look at that wound.

Do you remember which one did this to you?

-No. It all happened so fast. -Well, think. It's important.

Why is everybody telling me to think? I think. I just don't show it.

What's wrong?

Those magis,… they were warriors sent by three different priests.

One of them was a priest of Apollo.

So that's why they're after Eve? What's a priest without a god…

It's also why I'm worried about that wound.

If it was Apollo's man who cut you, then it's poisoned.

Without an antidote, you'll die.

Is… Is that bad? That's bad.

Well, ok. Which sword cut you?

Try to see it in your mind.

I don't remember. I feel fine.

Gods! Why don't you guys just leave me alone already?

Joxer…

We can't take any chances.

That sword had blood on it, and if it wasn't yours or mine or Eve's…

Where do we get the antidote?

There's a mandrake tree at the north end of the valley.

It's resin is the only known cure.

I can make a poultice which should slow the poison up long enough…

…for you and Joxer to make it there if you ride hard.

I need you to focus on Joxer. Once that poison gets hold…

If it kicks in…

…a red line will move from the wound to the heart.

Xena, let's just say… that he's not poisoned.

Then I would be leaving you and Eve alone for nothing.

Are you willing to gamble Joxer's life on that?

No!

We failed.

Not possible. I sent my best fighter.

We all did.

Look for yourself.

The heart is diseased…

…provin' our best have been beaten.

If we expect to save our gods…

…we must commit all our forces to tracking down and killing Xena…

…and her spawn.

-Take care of your mom. -Of course she will.

Xena, are you sure you're going to be ok?

Yes. Now you don't have any time to waste.

I'll meet you two at the mandrake tree, all right?

Fine. Come on, Argo.

Bye.

Bye.

It's just you and me now, Eve.

Well… Which way?

Xena said to the north of the valley.

Which way's north?

Oh… Guess you didn't think that out.

Joxer, I am taking you to the mandrake tree…

…and that leaves Xena and Eve alone, ok? It's makin' me nervous.

Oh, then by all means you should go.

I mean, I'll make it to that tree fine by myself. I feel good.

If you feel you need to go, you should… take off by all means.

The poison's moving.

Joxer…

Hush now, my little one.

Please, don't you cry.

Lay your head down…

…on my shoulder and sigh.

Sun's gone away…

…and Mama will pray.

Silence will keep all…

…where you sleep.

You know, it never fails.

Every time you sit down to eat…

Don't worry. I'll keep it warm for you.

Pooper-scooper.

Get it off! Get it off!

Get her!

And that's how we do it.

What's that?

Baptism by blood.

How fitting…

-Can't you take a hint? -I am here to help you.

That's what you said last time in Tartarus…

…when you tried to convince me that you love me.

I do.

I love it when you play hard to get.

But that's why I'm here. To prove it to you.