Crowded

So, Mike and Martina,

let's talk about why you're seeking therapy today.

She made me.

- What are you writing? - Mike.

He's just taking notes.

He's writing about you now.

You don't know that.

Are you?

Let's get back to why you're here.

Yes.

We're here about a dilemma Mike's facing.

It all began when I was counseling a mother and daughter

who were having some problems since they moved in together.

I just can't control her.

Coming in at all hours,

drinking, loud music,

an endless parade of men.

I'm just having a little fun.

Well, adult parents and children living together again

does present a lot of challenges.

It certainly does.

That stupid accent!

It's not a choice.

You married a British man and raised me in London.

Raised me in London.

Who talks like that?

Everyone in London!

Can you even understand her?

Mom, major emergency.

Stella!

I'm in session.

You know I've said not to come in when the door is closed.

Yeah, but you also said

you're sad you don't have enough patients,

so sometimes you just come in here to cry, so...

Stella, whatever it is, we'll deal with it later.

Oh, sorry about that.

Now, let's get back...

Martina!

I don't feel so good.

Whoa, whoa.

Yes, I was a little under the weather,

but that is not how it happened.

Mike, what are you doing out of bed?

You're deathly ill.

Yes, I am,

but that wood isn't gonna chop itself.

That is not how it went.

Although I would like you to chop that wood.

It's a lot of work.

Martina!

That's my husband.

He's not feeling well,

and you know how men get.

She doesn't.

Ugh.

This again.

She's a virgin.

I am not a virgin.

It can lapse!

Like a driver's license.

That's ridiculous.

I was married up until ten years ago.

I will admit it has been a while.

There are cobwebs down there.

Stop pushing me, Mother.

I'll go out again when I'm ready.

Look, we really don't mind

if you need to tend to your family.

Your daughter did say it was an emergency.

Well, thank you.

I'm sure it's nothing, but I will be right back.

It must be nice to have a daughter who needs you

and wants your advice.

You don't give me advice, just insults.

I don't insult you.

Just this morning you asked me

which mortician died and left me his clothes.

A genuine question.

All right, what's the big emergency?

This is tough, Mom.

Have you ever heard of Lou Gehrig's disease?

Yes. Oh, my God, Stella.

Well, there's a play about it, and I have an audition.

But I told them I could do accents, and I can't.

Mom, help.

It's the first day of my internship,

and I'm freaking out.

Which outfit says,

"Take my seriously, damn it,

but I'm a little fun."

The left one.

Oh, and you, Google "accents" and do what they say,

then Google "real problems" and pay attention.

Oh, I am so sorry for that interruption.

Where's your mother?

She went to help your husband.

What?

Is this helping you?

I'm not sure.

It's sure helping me.

Sandy, what are you doing in here?

She showed up and started rubbing VapoRub on my chest.

And...

I just went with it.

This is wrong. You can't be here.

I'm your therapist.

Oh, not anymore.

This poor man needs me.

That's my job.

I think I can take care of my husband.

So why aren't you feeding him?

Feed a cold;

starve a fever.

I could eat.

How do chocolate chip pancakes sound?

Could you make the chocolate chips into a smiley face?

With a whipped cream beard.

That sounds good.

Can we keep her?

Excuse me.

When I was in here before,

I noticed you do a great British accent.

It's just how I talk.

Okay, you don't have

to brag about how easy it is for you.

Anyway, I have a play audition tomorrow,

so I could I follow you around tonight

and learn how to talk like you?

I mean, you don't have, like, a date or anything, do you?

No.

No dates for me.

It's kind of your own fault.

You're like the girl in a teen move who's ugly

until she takes her glasses off, and then she's hot.

Huh...

That must just be in the movies.

Anyway, I can help, okay?

You teach me to talk like a Brit,

and I will make you over.

I must say I'm intrigued.

I must say I'm intrigued!

We've got a lot of work to do.

Oh, don't put yourself down.

You're not that unattractive.

Oh, these pancakes are so good.

Even sick, you're an attractive man.

What the hell's going on, son?

Son?

So that's where you get it.

You need to get out of bed so we can go watch the game.

- I got a cold. - Typical.

I don't get colds.

I felt one coming on once, but I told it to screw,

and that was the end of it.

I could listen to you

telling things to screw all night.

Who is this?

Dad, this is Sandy.

She's a little tiny angel, and I'm keeping her.

Go watch the game with Alice.

Alice is at Bible study again,

and apparently I'm not allowed to join.

I didn't want my husband to go to my Bible study either.

Why not?

Because I wasn't there.

I was having an affair.

Well, Alice is not having an affair.

She's studying the good book.

When she comes home from Bible study,

she's full of the Spirit.

Flushed and satisfied.

Happy...

tired...

Good God, I have to investigate.

I have an idea how you can get back at her!

He'll be back.

Hi, I'm Shea Moore, the new intern.

I'm Nate Johnson, the other new intern.

Nice to meet you.

Whoa...

what are we gonna do about this?

What "this"?

The obvious sexual tension between us.

Well, I don't see how it could be obvious.

Nice try. Your breath is shallow.

The capillaries in your cheeks are reddening,

and your pupils are dilating.

Yeah, I'm also an MD. I was a triple major.

They told me I couldn't do that!

Yeah.

They told me I couldn't park my motorcycle in my room.

Did I listen to them? I don't know.

Ask the grease stains on my carpet.

A bad boy.

Look, let's just reduce this equation

down to the lowest terms.

Honestly, every cell in my being

is just screaming to make love to you.

They are?