Psych

Oh, Carlton.

What a great housewarming gift.

We could really use these, um...

steak knives?

Those are ninja kunai throwing blades.

For use in case of a home invasion.

I suppose you could also use them to carve animal flesh,

especially if said animal is invading your home.

- Ah-ha. - Mm.

- What's this? Oh. - Oh!

Giant clown gloves. Finally, a housewarming gift we can use.

Shawn, these are oven mitts.

Thank you, mom, thank you, Lloyd.

You're so welcome, sweetie.

Well, I-I believe a person

can't be too careful when baking.

Which reminds me

of a very interesting story about a client of mine.

And he owned a doughnut shop,

I believe, that was in receivership.

- And-- - Lloyd.

I'm sorry, it's not the time

for one of my accounting anecdotes.

Honestly, sweetie, it never is.

Besides, I didn't marry you for your jokes.

I married you because you're honest, and dependable,

and not to mention incredibly sexy.

Oh.

Well, I think that's it for the gifts, everybody.

Help yourselves to an authentic Mexican buffet,

compliments of my dear father,

and the ladies from Ole Mole!

That's what I'm talking about.

Fan of Baja, California, huh, Lloyd?

Oh, uh, yes, well, um,

I'm a bit of a geography nut.

With this new phone, I can dial up maps from all over the world.

Uh, would you like to see Swedish Lapland?

- Boy, would I? - Just hold on a second.

See if I can...

get it.

Go ahead, I dare you. Nothing gets past me.

Uh!

Don't worry. I'll go and fix us a plate.

You know, babe, you're a much better tennis player than me.

True.

It's amazing how fast our lives change, huh?

You moved in with Jules, I found the woman of my dreams.

Who neglected to tell you she had a seven year old.

I gotta give it to you, buddy.

You sure are acting calm, all things considered.

That's because I'm not acting, Shawn.

I'm cool with it. I'm a family man now.

Gus, don't be the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours.

For that matter, don't be the original either.

It's okay to admit that you're freaking out on the inside.

Maybe you don't understand

because you don't have any children yet.

Don't worry, buddy. It'll happen for you someday.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

You met him a week ago.

I'll tell you, Julia,

I really expected your stepdad to be a little different.

I thought Lloyd would be a little more like--

Awesome? Like Frank.

Frank was a lowlife con man.

No offense, sweetie.

None taken.

- I think he was talking to me. - Right.

I'm gonna go check on Lloyd.

See where those drinks are.

You know, Jules, first of all,

there is no longer a "you." It's just "us."

We live as one now.

Matter of fact, we should start thinking of a singular name

that covers both of us.

Juli-hawn, Shawn-iet,

there's also Shules, if you're a fan of brevity.

Yeah, we're not doing that.

When Maryanne and I first met,

I was counseling her in her accounting,

and I found oh, so many discrepancies.

But the one thing that I said to Maryanne...

You got to admit it'd be fun

if the two of them became friends, though.

Come on, my dad could use a new buddy.

Look, if a friendship evolves, great,

but I think we should stay out of it,

and let it happen naturally.

- You're right. - Yeah.

Hello, this, uh-- this is Luther's, right?

I'd like to make a lunch reservation for two.

My father, and soon-to-be new best friend.

Wait--

Sorry, man, I'm not a fan of nature, all right?

It's slow, it's overrated.

Hello.

Hey, Henry, it's Lloyd.

Listen, I'm gonna be a little late to the restaurant.

I have to pick up a package

at a mailbox place over on Presidio.

Oh, I know that place.

It's right around the corner from where I live.

Why don't I just pick it up on the way over?

Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to do that.

Hey, it's no problem.

- You sure? - No trouble at all.

You promise?

Lloyd, I could've already gotten it by now.

Okay, the number is 227. It's easier if you just

give 'em the number, and not my name, all right?

2-2-7.

- Got it. - You want to write that down?

Lloyd, I said I got it. I'm not senile, you know.

No, I only say that

because I sometimes have trouble remembering things.

It's 227. Did I say that?

Lloyd, I'm hanging up now.

Okay, did I say 227?

Hello?

Hi, there. I need to pick up a package.

Box number?

2-2...

What is that third number? Six?

You're asking me?

I can't believe I forgot the damn number.

Maybe I am going senile.

Anyway, it's under "Lloyd French."

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Get in!

Damn, they're gone!

- What the hell's happening? - Buckle up, Henry!

You forgot the number, didn't you?

You're seriously gonna blame me for what just happened?

Don't worry, they won't come after us.

- How do you know? - This is their car.

All right, Lloyd,

you wanna tell me what the hell's going on?

Well, as far as I can make out,

those Mexican gentlemen want what's in this package.

No crap. What's in there? What is it, drugs?

Oh, no, no.

The contents are nothing illegal.

No, you have my word on that.

Well, your word means diddley-squat

to me right now, Lloyd.

I'll bet you're not even an accountant.

I most certainly am.

In fact, if you ever need your taxes done...

In fact, I have a--

Hands on the wheel, Lloyd!

All right, Lloyd. What's going on, really?

I'm delivering this package to an old friend

in exchange for forgiveness

of a somewhat sizeable gambling debt.

How sizeable?

Oh, somewhere between $1 million and $10 million.

Who are you calling?

Lassiter. Gotta report all this.

Could you do me a big favor and hold off on that?

I'm asking you as a friend.

Friends don't lie to friends

and then get them shot at, Lloyd.

You know, I just had major surgery.

I'm sure this is not good for my healing process.

- Yeah, can you--excuse me. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That was wrong of me.

Gimme one good reason I shouldn't punch you in the face.

Glass jaw, winning smile.

Please don't.

All right.

Hear me out.

Then we can go to the cops, I promise.

You got one minute.

This is my last debt.

All I have to do is deliver this package,

and my slate is clean.

And you expect me to believe

what's in this box is not illegal.

I swear on Juliet's life.

Maryanne, Juliet, the boys.

They all think that I'm this boring accountant.

Finding out I'm just another Frank is gonna kill them.

Please.

And afterward, we drive straight to the police station.

Absolutely.

I was thinking a pinkberry on the way back--

Lloyd, don't push it.

I smell cumin.

I specifically asked for no cumin.

Mm, what smells so good? It smells like cumin.

Help yourself.

- Sweet. - What're you doing here, man?

I thought you were spending the day with Rachel and Maximus.

Oh, I'm on a break while she takes him to the eye doctor.

Gotta give him credit, man.

The way you're handling this whole thing,

if it was me, I'd be freaking out that she has a kid.

I'm the exact opposite.

In fact, I wish Rachel had more kids.