Men in Black

Goddamn bugs.

Oh, shit!

Oh, crap.

Well, Nick the Dick. What a surprise.

Where you coming from?

Fishing in Cuernavaca.

Sure. Let's take a look at your catch.

Come on.

I would've thrown them back.

What do you get? 100 bucks a head? 200?

Hope you saved it all for your lawyer. You'll need it.

We'll take it from here.

Who the hell are you?

INS, Division 6.

Division 6? I never heard of Division 6.

Really?

Who you betting on?

Tough call, Kay.

We've got a winner here.

Oh, I know.

Sir, you can't...

Don't "sir" me, young man.

You have no idea who you're dealing with.

We'll chat with our friend. You hit the road.

Keep on protecting us from the dangerous aliens.

You ever hear of Division 6?

There is no Division 6.

This is bullshit.

Hell, yeah.

Looks like you fell off the bus in the wrong part of town.

I'll bet you're not from anywhere near here.

Mikey?

Mikey, when they let you out of jail?

Political refugee.

You know how many treaties you just violated?

- One? - Try seven.

You hand me that head.

Put up your arms and flippers.

Shit!

Shoot him!

- "That". - That....

Was not human. I know. You got some entrails on you.

What the hell?

The situation's under control.

Give me your attention for a moment.

I'll tell you what happened.

This is called a neuralizer. It's a gift from friends from out of town.

This red eye isolates...

the brain's impulses, specifically the ones for memory.

Give me a splay burn on the perimeter...

with holes at 40, 60, and 80 metres...

from right here. Thank you.

That's good.

What's going on?

Excellent question.

The answer you're looking for lies right here.

Who are you, really?

Really?

I am just a figment of your imagination.

Damn, what a gullible breed.

I'm serious. You're lucky to be alive after that blast.

What blast?

The underground gas main.

You should exercise caution before firing...

I'll tell you that now. Especially you.

Have yourself checked out with EMS before you leave.

I'm sorry about back there.

It happens.

Didn't used to.

The spirit's willing, Kay...

but the rest of me....

They're beautiful, aren't they?

The stars.

We neverjust look anymore.

I'll tell you, Kay...

I will miss the chase.

No, Dee...

you won't.

Freeze!

NYPD! Freeze!

All yours, Edwards.

Freeze means stop!

What the hell?!

It just be raining black people in New York.

Do you see this?

N-Y-P-D!

Means I will knock your punk-ass down!

He's coming!

Yeah, and when he gets here, I'll arrest his ass too.

You trying to catch a beat-down?

What's up?

He's coming.

He's coming because I failed. Now he'll kill me.

You pissing everybody off today, huh?

You don't understand.

Your world's gonna end.

What are you?

Watch that ledge. Watch the ledge.

Come on down. We'll get those eyes fixed, don't worry.

Wait a minute. Let me talk to you!

I work my butt off to make a living.

All I want is to come home to a fat steak on the table...

but instead I get this. It looks like poison.

Don't take that away! I'm eating that! It is poison, isn't it?

I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if it was...

the way you skulk like a dog been hit too much, or not enough!

I can't decide.

You're useless, Beatrice.

The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck!

Figures.

What the heck is it?

Get your big butt back in the house.

Place projectile weapon on the ground.

You can have my gun...

when you pry it from my dead fingers.

Your proposal is acceptable.

Edgar, what on earth was that?

Sugar.

I've never seen sugar do that.

Give me sugar.

In water.

More.

More.

Your skin is hanging off your bones.

Is that better?

"The perpetrator blinked two sets of eyelids".

Blinked with both eyes?

He blinked one set, then a completely different set.

You know, like high beams and low beams.

Was that before or after he drew the weapon that you claim...

evaporated into a million pieces?

After, sir.

Why is it that no other officers saw either of these events?

Some of them are soggy around the midsection.

They weren't able to keep up.

If you were half the man I am...

I am half the man that you are.

What is your problem?

You're in my face.

- I think he threw him off the roof. - You next.

I wanna talk to you.

Ten minutes, you take your best shot, tough guy.

Take 10 minutes on a StairMaster, you pudgy bastard!

I believe you. Laurel Weaver. Deputy Medical Examiner.

Find me at the morgue. I'll show you.

Wait.

Wait a minute!

You're Dr. Weaver with the coroner's office working on the John Doe?

- That's right. - Will you look at this, please?

Some night, huh?

Some night.

They were gills, not eyelids.

Gills. He was out of breath.

Who are you?

Did he say anything to you?

He said the world was coming to an end.

Did he say when?

Would you recognize his weapon if you saw it again?

Absolutely.

Come on, let's take a ride.

Wait a minute. Look, I got tons of paperwork...

It's all done.

Good work.

You really ran this dude down on foot? That's tough.

That's double tough.

So who exactly are you with?

So who exactly are you with?

FBI? NSA?

I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices aliens on Earth.

Yeah, whatever.

We're here.

This is where we're going?

This is Jack Jeebs' spot.

He buys from chain-snatchers. Doesn't sell guns.

Really?

All right, look.

I'm gonna go in and put my thing down, but when I come out, I want answers.

Okay, go put your thing down.

Officer Eduardo!

How did these get here? I thought I turned them in.

I hear you're into something hotter than stolen Rolexes.

I deal crack, but I still work here. I love the hours.

I'm talking about guns, smart-ass! Weird ones.

Come on! What you see is what I got.

Show him the imports, Jeebs.

Hey, Kay. How are you?

- Show him the imports. - I got out of that business.

Why do you lie to me?

Hold on a second.

I'll count to three.

He'll do it, Jeebs. That man does not look stable.

You know what? He's crazy when he's like this.

He's always crazy. Get a massage.

Take a cruise...

- Drop the weapon. - I warned him.

Drop the weapon!

- You warned him. - I'll kill you.

You insensitive jerk!

Do you have any idea how much that stings?

Show us the merchandise, or you'll lose another head.