Luck

Okay.

How you doing, Ace?

We should get me a tape recorder.

- Meaning what? - Meaning what?

Meaning we should get a recorder.

Okay, sure. I got a pencil, Ace.

You want me to write something down for you?

- You think you're funny? You're not. - No, no.

No, I got a pencil right here.

And I got an old ad from sears

that I can write on the back of the envelope.

Go ahead.

Your trees.

How are your trees in the backyard there?

Good. Good. Yeah, good.

Thanks for asking. You know, as a matter of fact,

this morning I was just thinking that it's probably time

to take the wraps off the figs.

All right, let me see your horse owner's license.

I'm surprised the camera guy

didn't ask me who I thought I was kidding.

Hey, hey, no ifs, ands, or buts,

you're that horse's owner.

Yes, I got it. I understand.

Understood.

You think you're the first front in history?

His gut-sounds are a little slow.

So see what's what.

Don't you wish this was you?

Loquita. A mental case.

Miguel, ven.

You don't need no stick.

Yes, sir, Mr. Escalante.

I got to stay here. Jog him once the wrong way around

to loosen him up for his race this afternoon.

I was telling Joey before, sir, I'm so psyched getting to ride for you.

Yeah, good.

We'll run big with this horse today.

What?

Is this morning today or this afternoon?

What?

Pinhead, is today this morning so far?

I guess, sir. Yes so.

Then jog him once the wrong way around

and sh up on what you don't know before I call Porky Pig on you.

Yes, sir, Mr. Escalante.

Can't believe you got that one to a race.

I can't believe where you put your hands.

No displacement, no obstruction or entrapments.

Pretty sure it's just a gas colic.

Leche I can give him?

Yeah, give him some milk of mag.

Once he's alert, just get him walking.

You met the limo driver yet?

Yeah, the one that broke the bank in Vegas?

And buys this horse for two million?

Probably, too, you think they really landed on the moon.

What, monkey business?

For three years, he's a limo driver.

Who he work for before that these three years is in jail?

- Uh, Michael Vick? - Chester Bernstein, okay?

Ace Bernstein that they calling him.

Gorilla business.

Long trip from Ireland, the quarantine--

This guy's entitled to a touch of colic, Turo.

Would you look back on him this afternoon?

Have you ever been to Ireland?

No.

You have a heavy brogue.

For $2 million you got some plain head on you.

That's frosted.

They said the chocolate-covereds weren't fresh.

How'd it go?

Big horse got down, he slept for the night, Mr. Walter.

Even licked his tub clean.

You gonna bet that pick six this afternoon?

I don't know. Maybe.

They say the jackpot will top three million.

Yeah.

I was wondering if maybe

the last quarter the girl should loosen up

and let him stretch the hell out.

Yeah, let the big man show his stuff today.

Did I tell you that's frosted?

- You did. - All right. Get some sleep.

How you doing, bub? Huh?

Yeah, you know what I got.

Yeah. There you go.

What do you think? Feel like stretching out?

Hey, Bruiser.

About like last time?

About like last time.

But maybe you let him stretch out a little in the lane.

Great.

'Cause he's been pulling my arms off.

He wants to run.

Ooh.

All right, take him on down.

You're just hobby-horsing him.

- Hello? - Why are you giving me a jockey

who's running his lips on my business?

You're kidding, Turo.

I don't kid, you Porky Pig son of a bitch.

He's chirping how he's gonna run him big

when I told you that horse had no chance.

A trainer like you throws us a bone,

gives a kid a chance to ride for you,

and then-- and then he's-- he's gonna run his mouth on you?

Just tell him shut the fuck up.

And loose lips sink boats.

I'm gonna take him to the woodshed, believe me.

I'm tapped.

You're what?

I'm tapped out. I'm tapioca.

Yesterday you left the grounds a $390 winner.

Yeah, but then I hit the commerce casino

for a little poker fun after dark.

Three days' worth of pick six carryovers

worth several million dollars

and you hand your bankroll to the ricers?

Here's my picks.

Fuck your picks, you degenerate prick.

- Where is your money? - Don't wind yourself up.

Your face is going all different colors.

Fuck my face.

Oh, you're running him around.

Oh, good. Now here comes the brain surgeon.

Got my disability.

255 simoleons.

Meaning against the social security check he's gonna get,

he took out a payday advance,

which is the mumbo jumbo those joints use to get around the usury laws.

That napkin is Jerry's whole contribution.

Sick degenerate.

Guess I still know a peach when I see one.

You single the fourth.

I had the fourth a semi-spread.

A triple-bug apprentice.

Hasn't won 10 races in his life.

He's gonna single a horse that's been--

hasn't run in two years.

Yeah, but Escalante is the trainer.

Oooh.

Hey, Joey.

I met Mr. Escalante at his barn.

- Oh, yeah? How-- how'd that go? - Good.

You know, he's foreign. He's a little hard to understand.

Yeah, well, you-- you did some job.

- I did? - Yeah.

P-pissing him off with your wise-ass chirping

about how good you thought this horse was gonna run today.

I was just saying something to say something.

And that's-- that's what "How's the weather?" is for.

With a great trainer I wanted to have something to say.

Suppose he's making a bet.

Y-you think he wants some-- some big mouth riding his horse?

- He betting, Mr. Escalante? - I-I don't know.

And if-- if you want to know, I-I-I don't want to represent you.

You're a bug. You ride everything hard.

And you don't chirp about what ain't your business.

He could be on go, Joey.

Moves like shine on Saturday night.

Did I just say to keep your mind right?

11 and two.

He pulled up at 23 and change.

Mr. Walter, listen.

This guy has got nine more gears.

Let's go.

Ronnie, wherever it is you're flopped,

find your coat, find your keys,

find your car, get to the gym.

Because if I didn't just see a derby horse work,

then I'm a Chinese dentist.

Plus the mount is open for you, Ronnie.

An exercise girl was up.

Yeah-- yeah, call me back. Remember me?

Y-your fucking agent. Y-you drunken prick.

Anyone seeking admission, please clear the grounds

before the gates open at 10:30

unless you're a credentialed track employee.

Anyone morbidly fat?

Anyone order a heart attack?

Yeah, well, I wouldn't hold my breath.