Amazing Stories

Now, Jane. Do you mean nothing at all happened this week...

that you want to talk about?

Nothing that I can think of, Doctor.

I cleaned my apartment and went shopping for new towels.

- Jane? - Oh, yes, of course! How silly of me to forget.

Yesterday, I broke off my engagement... to Dick.

Would you like to discuss it?

Oh, Dick is very immature, doctor. Not ready for marriage at all.

I hated to hurt his feelings, but I have to think of myself first.

He'll just have to get along without ? He dumped you, didn't he, Jane?

Oh, Doctor, I still don't understand how it happened!

D It was the strangest evening of my entire life!

D Here comes the bride d

Jane, try to control yourself. What is that thing on your head?

Do you like it? It's my bridal veil.

Uh, I know it's bad luck for you to see it before the wedding, but? I think you better sit down.

- There's something I should tell you. - Don't tell me you couldn't get a rese rv ation at the Honeymoon Hotel.

J ane, the wedding's off.

Now you owe me $700. That was a perfectly good Chippendale!

I? Wait, wait! W-What do you mean, the wedding's off?

We've just invited 200 people!

Well, if you must know, I'm dying.

Dying? That's ridiculous! You just had a physical. The doctor said you were in per?

Well, not dying, exactly.

It's like dying. I'm... moving away. To Sweden.

- For the winter sports. - Well, I'd like to get out of the city too.

B-But why Sweden? What's wrong with... Vermont?

Oh, brother. I'd like a drink.

Could you get me that glass from the table?

Dick, whatever the problem is,

I know that together we can work it out.

It's such a shame to let our destructive impulses ruin this?

Table.

- Oh, Jane. Honestly. - Oh, Dick. I'm sorry, I?

I don't know how that happened. You're making me so ne rv ous!

Never mind, Jane. It's just an old antique anyway.

I'm terribly sorry. I'll pay to have it fixed.

Could you just get me a soda from the icebox, please?

- And try not to break anything else. - Dick, why don't you just relax and let me make dinner?

Be careful when you open the refrigerator, Jane.

- It's very, very full. - I'm not a complete klutz, you know?

That was our dinner, Jane. That pie was going to be our dessert.

I think I just lost my appetite.

I feel like a complete failure, Dr. Shreck.

J ane, these feelings of confusion and inadequacy that you feel...

are easily explained.

- Is it my infantile Oedipal complex? - No! No. No, Jane.

The underlying fundamentals of your basic problem...

seem to me to be rooted in your clothes.

My clothes? Mm, and your makeup and your hair.

But, Doctor, don't my problems come from deep, deep inside me?

Don't you wish? Psychological problems are easy to fix.

It's very difficult to do anything about the way we look.

Nevertheless, under my supervision ?

- And with the help of Nurse? You will be cured, Jane. - Doctor,

where did you say you studied medicine?

Your treatment will commence tonight.

Didn't you tell me your boyfriend goes to the Movie Star Lounge every evening?

- Yes, but I wouldn't dare? - Nonsense.

When he sees the way you look after Nurse gets through with you, he'll never look at a woman again.

Nurse!

Look at this face, Nurse. Look at these clothes.

Is there hope? It's never too late, Doctor.

A little lipstick, the right shoes? Given a few weeks?

Tonight! I want her made over tonight.

She has a rendezvous with destiny at 10:00.

Once a week we have lunch together.

Is it too much to ask that you be on time one day a week?

I'm still your mother, you know.

I'm sorry, mother. I've had the most terrible week.

Dick called off our wedding. We're not getting married.

Please, Jane! Don't tell me any more!

I don't want you to spoil it for me.

Spoil it for you? Mother, what are you talking? Take your order, miss?

The turkey's very nice. Uh, I'll?

I'll just have a green salad, please.

Dark meat or light? No, no. I-I don't went turkey.

J ust a green salad and a glass of iced tea.

No turkey?

How about the turkey soup? It's delicious.

- I made it myself. - How about bringing me my green salad and my iced tea?

You don't have to get huf fy .

Mother, the weirdest thing happened to me this morning.

I was at a newsstand, and a little boy? A complete stranger?

Asked me for my autograph. Well, I wasn't going to mention it, dear.

But since you brought it up,

some of the girls in my bridge class have been pestering me for?

For autographed pictures of you.

It would mean so much to them.

J ane! Are you listening to me?

Uh-oh, I'm sorry, Mother. I think I'm having an hallucination.

I know just how you feel.

I sit in that theater, people laughing their heads off all around me,

and I think, "That wonderful girl up there on the screen...

is my daughter ? My littleJane. "

Confidentially, dear, what are they paying you?

I'm sorry, Mother. I'm afraid I'm not feeling very?

There you are, miss. Delicious turkey.

- But I didn't order turkey. I ordered? - You did so. You ordered turkey.

She ordered turkey, didn't she? Nice, hot turkey?

I remember something about turkey. Isn't that where I went on my honeymoon?

- See? - I didn't order turkey, and I'm not gonna eat any turkey!

Look out, Jane. Don't cross him.

I see. In that case, maybe you would like your dessert.

They have wonderful chocolate mousse here.

No mousse for you. We only have one dessert today.

- It isn't? - One order! Cream pie!

Oh-ho, no dessert for me, thank you.

I'll just have a little more coffee.

It's awfully nice of you to do this for me, Nurse.

That's okay. It's part of our training.

Seven years of beauty school before they even let us near a scalpel.

Now, do you know what you're going to say to Dick when you see him?

Oh, I hadn't thought? Gee, um?

You're going to say, " Why, Dick, I never expected to see you here.

What a pleasant surprise!"

And then he says something, and you say,

"Dick, isn't this a perfect night for romance?"

- Now, go on. Say it. - " Why, Dick. You're here.

I'm surprised at you. I, uh?" Close enough.

You'll be fine. Now, don't be late.

Remember, time is money. Oh, Nurse? Have you ever heard of something called,

- the Secret Cinema? -

Oops. There's my taxi.

I've gotta go.

You look great.

Remember, Movie Star Lounge, 10:00 sharp.

Thanks again for everything, Nurse.

You're a real pal.

J ane approaching.

She's in.

D

- Oh! Hello, Jane. - " Why, Dick. What a surprise.

I didn't expect to see you here." Jane.

I'd like you to meet my new fianc é e.

Hildegarde, this is Jane. How do you do, Yane?

Hildegarde? What kind of name is "Hildegarde"?

I am, uh, "Svedish," you know?

Hildegarde is a famous model. We're gonna be married very soon.

Oh! And where do you model, Hildegarde? At a massage parlor?

Dick, would you? Have you ever tasted...

Swedish meatballs, Yane?

They're delicious!

Dick, please! Could we talk privately for a moment?

I think you'd better go now, Jane. Hildegarde and I are on our honeymoon.

So naturally, we'd like to be alone.

Dr. Shreck!

- - Dd

D

Excuse me. Can you tell me who's in The Adventures ofJane ?

Are you a member, miss? Is this the Secret Cinema?

I'm sorry, miss. No one may be admitted until the start of the next show.

But I just saw somebody go in here. Somebody I have to talk to.

I'm sorry, Jane. No one may be admitted until the start of the next show.

- You can wait in the lobby if you wish. - Thank you.

Oh, Jane. Honestly. Oh, Dick. I'm sorry. I don't know how that happened.

You're making me so nervous!

Never mind, Jane. It's just an old antique anyway.

I'm terribly sorry.