Four Boxes

l am a privacy fence salesman.

Top sales, three straight years.

Goal -- make manager by next spring.

Quit selling dead people's crap on the weekends.

Get excited about my wedding.

Hey, man.

Want to do a couple funerals?

'Sup, douche?

Go time, playa.

''You die, and we fly.''

Know what l'm sayin'?

Know what l'm sayin', Trevor G?

William Zill.

Centerville.

Sounds like a loser.

Yeah, that one looked hot.

Connie Campbell.

-Remember her three years ago? -Yeah.

The unicorn collection got me my flat-screen.

Two weeks till they sell the house.

Mm.

Let's get the shit, hombre.

This is the place we've been looking for.

Hey.

l saw on the Internet that shrimp fettuccine

is only 293 people in the whole world's favorite food --

out of 2 million.

l'm special.

Speaking of special --

did you and the little lady set a date yet?

No, Rob.

Still waiting for the...

.. .pagoda.

What's a pagoda?

-Ay, caramba. -''F.''

This looks like one of my mom's Bible-study buddies' places.

Ew!

You're old enough for your own condo, man,

especially with the big promotion.

: Promotion.

F'ing l.T. Wage wookie man.

l swear, every one of these places is getting worse.

Bunch of junk.

-Look at that. -TV .

Yep.

All this crap from Bang a Gong ain't selling on eBay, man.

Word.

We'll see what he's got upstairs.

Bunch of junk.

Yeah, baby.

Whoops.

Nice porn.

What do you know? Another nut.

What do you know?

: Why everybody got ta be so weird?

- : Computer. -Yep.

Oh, shit.

Trevor, check it out. This guy's seen ''Four Boxes.''

What's ''Four Boxes''?

l'll show it to you.

Seriously, l thought l was the only one that knew about it.

lt's this freaky little deep Google site

l found googling cheap cardboard boxes.

Regular voyeur site, whatever.

Chick put tiny, invisible cameras up

all over her apartment.

Watch this chick eat cereal,

flick the bean, get ready for work,

blah, blah, blah.

But, no, then it starts to rock.

Couple weeks ago, chick moves out, takes her shit,

but didn't unhook the cameras.

Then, a couple days ago,

to a totally new person.

There he is.

This guy doesn't know he's being watched.

And the dude trumps the chick.

Man, he's fing weird.

l call him Havoc.

Where is this coming from?

No way to know, man.

Four rooms, four boxes

full of plastic crap from China.

l mean, where's it not coming from, yo?

Sound?

Silent movie.

Doesn't look like a chick's place.

-l know. -Where's the Glade Pluglns?

lt did, man.

A hot one, too.

Bummed to see her go. She had an awesome ass.

This guy brought all this crap in

and totally just trashed the place.

Hey. What's up with this?

Oh, yeah. Cops said this dude's ex-wife

hung herself over here six months ago

just to fuck with the guy.

Suicides rule!

Like my dad -- get out of our way, losers.

l love it, man.

l love it.

When my parents were still married,

this is all they had... everywhere.

l'm probably gonna have to waste some money

and pick up that new Chili Peppers disc

when l get a sec.

lt's out today.

Anthony Kiedis.

Flea.

lt sucks when suddenly you realize you're old school.

Yeah, it sucks.

Play some live, for Christ sakes.

Life sucks, dude, right?

Yep.

Life sucks.

# Ooh #

# Ooh #

Shower.

Yeah.

No fing way!

Yeah, baby.

Losers rule!

What is this shit?

That's about 500 hollow eggs.

Did you see the photo album of this dude's upstairs?

All the faces are cut out of the pictures.

BFD. My mom cut Tim's face out of all my baby pictures.

Yeah, one big difference here, homeslice --

these pictures ain't got no fat, ugly bitch in them

next to the hole.

True dat. That is pretty weird, l guess.

It's like someone was trying to get rid of themselves.

Man... l remember when l was a kid just laying on my bed

listening to the fucking shit out of ''Californication.''

Wasn't that just like five years ago?

Yeah, l guess. l don't know.

Oh. Check these, man.

-Mm. -Get in that basket, bitch.

What's she here, dude?

Chips-and-dip bowl, l guess.

Computers make me horny.

One cool thing the Internet makes you realize --

the only difference of all the world's chicks --

l mean, with their clothes off --

is their teeth and the fucking couches they're spread-eagle on.

lf it's like a burlap bag for a couch,

then it's probably, like, Russia.

Word.

Should we just sleep here, then?

Why not? Easy.

Mmm. l got to try to start drinking wine now.

How come?

l've got to grow up.

Wack place.

-Hey, babe. -Hey, honey bundle.

And hi, Trevor.

-Got some breakfasts. Sweet.

l'm flippin' ravenous over here.

What are you doing here, Amber?

-Hey, l invited her, man. -What? Why?

Um, because she's my fiancee, and l wanted her here.

What about our work, homes?

lt's my choice, bro, and l wanted her here.

Any of you guys remember last summer?

l introduced you guys at TGl Bardays?

You, my girlfriend? You, my junior partner?

You did me dirty, man.

Trevor, things just happen.

-Fate and chance and-- -Oh, here we go.

lt's, like, don't you got a new girlfriend now, too?

Things flow, Trevor. Things are.

-Every day's a new world. -Yeah. Brit.

We're engaged, actually.

Brit.

That's right -- Brit.

Well, see, that's grand.

: That's grand. You sound like your mom.

Really? Well, awesome. She's my best friend, so--

That bitch is your best friend?

Not cool.

Hey, man. Come on.

You might have fucking told me the plan, partner.