The Sandlot: Heading Home

Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig...

Hank Aaron, Mickey Mantle...

Al Kaline, Carl Yastrzemski...

Pete Rose, Barry Bonds, Cal Ripken and a handful more...

are all considered to be the greatest hitters...

in baseball's celebrated history.

But this list would not be complete without one name in particular.

Tommy "Santa" Santorelli.

In the middle of his 19th and recently announced final season...

Tommy has been named to 11 all-star teams...

broken dozens of records, and seems destined for Cooperstown.

That is, if his ego doesn't get in the way.

From humble beginnings, Tommy Santorelli and his mother, Sara...

moved to Southern California the summer Tommy turned 13.

It was there that Tommy began playing sandlot ball...

and let's just say he's always had a talent for the game.

It was with that July 4, 1976 catch...

that Tommy single-handedly won the all-city championship.

Unfortunately, shortly thereafter...

Tommy's mother lost a courageous battle with cancer...

and a local benefactor sent him...

to the legendary Baseball Academy St. Agnus Preparatory School.

It was there that he coined his own nickname-- "Santa."

His explanation? Simple. It was a gift for anyone to watch him play.

The loss of his mother affected him deeply, and some see this...

as the reason for Tommy's lack of loyalty to the list...

of major league teams he's been a part of.

Finishing his career where it started...

in his hometown of Los Angeles...

Tommy signed a three-year, multi-million-dollar deal...

with the Dodgers.

Though Tommy's numbers have been strong...

the Dodgers have suffered their worst losing streak in years.

- - Famed Dodger manager Benny Rodriguez explains:

Problem is, guys like Tommy don't play for the love of the game...

and that translates to the rest of the guys.

If the top earner don't care, why should they?

Now, these kids--

They played because they loved playing. That's it.

No-- No money, no agents.

No complaining.

Just the pure love of the game.

But ballplayers like them don't exist anymore.

In fact, the old sandlot doesn't even exist.

But, yeah, they got it.

Now, I've known Tommy since he was a kid.

We grew up in the same town, and--

I don't know, maybe it's 'cause I'm older than him.

But, uh, the sad thing is...

I could always tell-- he never got it.

What do I know?

I'm just an old, washed-up manager now anyhow.

Let's get some dirt on those uniforms, huh?

So what do you think went wrong today, Santa?

What are you askin' me for? I went three for four.

- Homered in the sixth, in case you didn't see that. - Yeah, but you lost.

- No, sweetie. They lost. - Did you just call me sweetie?

Listen, I'm just trying to be friendly, sweetie.

Look. If these guys want to play like a bunch of losers...

there's nothing I can do to stop 'em, okay?

So, Tommy, with this being your last season...

you must be looking back on your career a little bit.

- Some say you're getting out before the hammer falls. - What?

Any regrets?

- Nope. None. - Really?

What about that tell-all book written by your ex-fiancée, Judy Kroll--

Sweetie?

Tommy, come on. What do you have to--

Oh, it's a great day for baseball.

Yeah, and one of the last.

And I'll tell you what, boys. When Santa's gone, party's over.

You better cherish these days while they're here.

He's in a talkative mood today.

Yeah. Probably 'cause he's not under oath.

Yo, 26, what gives?

Uh, it's for the July 4 fireworks next week.

That's next week. What are they doin' in my yard today?

I don't know. That's just what I was told.

You know, I've been comin' here early for three years...

so this diva can have B.P. all to himself...

- and he doesn't even know my name. - Consider yourself lucky.

At least you're on a first-number basis with him.

- Right. - Yeah, they wanna see some fireworks?

I'll show 'em some fireworks.

Been workin' on that new pitch we talked about?

What new pitch?

It's called a strike.

And Santa takes that to the North Pole.

All right.

So on the big night, when I say "now"...

I want you to light it up right here, okay?

Hey, Lou.

- You understand me, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bud.

- I'm just watching out for incoming. - Okay.

You got a problem with your breakin' stuff, kid.

- Yeah? What's that? - It don't break.

- Excuse me? - You're excused. Bring it.

You understand me, right?

On the big night, when I say "now"...

- I want you to light it up. Okay? - What, now?

- Now. - Now?

- When I say "now," Lou. - Now?

Lou, your head's like cement. Now is now.

- What do you mean, now? - Now.

Okay, now. Whoo!

Lou! Not "now," now. Pull it out.

- Pull it out! - What do you mean, pull it out? You said light it.

- Run! -

How far did he skid?

Pace it off, Q.

Four, five, six, seven, eight--

He looks bad.

- We should do something. - Yeah, kick him. See if he's fakin' it.

- Kick him? What, are you nuts? - "Nuts"? Good idea.

Kick in the family jewels, excellent fake breaker.

- That should wake him up. - Bad idea on many levels.

As a medical procedure, I think kicking...

is way down on the list of any prescribed remedies.

- Got any better ideas, Q? - Slap in the face?

Bucket of water. That always works.

My mom says you should always wake someone gently.

- Gently. - How about seeking medical attention, doofus?

The average ambulance takes four minutes...

to respond to the scene of an accident.

Kick in the family jewels, lot faster.

- We're gonna get this guy help. - Why are you in charge?

- Yeah, why are you in charge? - Since when?

- I'm the tallest. - What's that got to do with anything?

I am the smartest.

I think you mean shortest. I'm the biggest.

- I think you mean fattest. - Fattest.

- I say we go with the kick. - I'm the captain.

- What? - Who made you captain, D.P.?

The catcher is always the captain.

- You're not the captain. What about pitcher? -

- Guys, look. Guys. He's waking up. -

We could still kick him before it's too late.

Ask him a question that everyone knows.

- See if he's okay. - Good idea.

Who's the greatest baseball player of all time?

- I am. - What?

- Who are you? - Tommy Santorelli.

Well, I don't care if you're Steve Garvey. The answer is Babe Ruth.

- Hello! The Sultan of Swat. - The King of Crash.

- The Colossus of Clout. - The Home Run King.

- The Babe. - The Great Bambino.

No. It's Santa.

- Santa? - As in Claus?

- - Can I kick him now?

- Go ahead. - Back up, kids!

Clear out!

I'm trained for situations like this.

Now, who started it?

Stand back, boys. I'm goin' in.

Hey! What's goin' on here?

All right, kids, give him some air. What happened?

He took a fly ball to the forehead.

- Sorry, Uncle Chops. - Would have been a triple too...

if he hadn't screwed it up.

- In your dreams, fat ass. - Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Are we gonna have a situation here?

'Cause we don't want a situation, do we? Huh?

- No. - Good. What's your name, kid?

Who you calling kid, tubs?

Is that any way to talk to an officer of the law?

- Where's my P.D.A.? - Your what?

- My blackberry? - Hey, that's mine.

And it's not blackberry. It's strawberry-banana.

- Are you serious? I love strawberry. - Hey!

He's that new kid who just moved onto Glenview Road.

What are you talking about? I live in Beverly Hills.

And what's up with this "kid" crap?

Which one of you jacked my phone? I gotta call my agent.

Don't even think about autographs.

Why would we want your autograph, loser?

1976.

Bicentennial?

What's goin' on?

Yeah. We got a situation.

Where am I?

You're home, sweetheart.

No, I can't be. I must be dreaming.

Just relax. You'll feel better in the morning.

Mom.

- It's really good to see you again. -

- Honey. - I've missed you so much.

Oh, honey. I'm right here.

- I like this dream. - Shh.

- Well, hello there, sleepyhead. - Wh-Where am I?

You're home, sweetheart.

No, no, no. Something's very wrong.

Mom? Am I dead?

Why would you ask such a silly thing?

Because I'm wearing my Speed Racer p.j.'s that I haven't seen in 30 years.

Fine. I got a little backed up on the laundry.

There's still a lot of unpacking to do.

Don't worry, your Batman and Robin ones haven't run off.

- Mom, do you know how old I am? - Twelve, almost 13.

No. I'm 41 years old. I live in Beverly Hills.

I've got a smokin'-hot girlfriend who's got her own reality show.