Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl here--

your one and only source into the scandalous lives

of Manhattan's elite.

You were the one. I never wanna leave.

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry, but you lost the baby.

This is just the culmination of years of damage.

All right, so what do you wanna do?

I wanna take Gossip Girl down for good.

I'll do anything. Let him live.

I promise I'll keep my vow to marry Louis.

Chuck Bass is asking for you.

Blair, it's good to see you, and you, Dan.

Thank you, Father Smythe.

I swear to you, we are not having an affair.

Then what the hell are you doing?

He's having a relationship with me.

Blair got in the wrong car that night.

This says the car that crashed was the one ordered for me.

And who am I?

That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

Hey, Upper East Sider, it's me, Gossip Girl.

I'm hoping you're interested in some quid pro quo,

because we both have something to prove.

You look like hell.

I assume this means you didn't find anything.

I've reread every piece in "The Spectator" since I started there,

and unless Christina Aguilera

is mad about our "Baby Bump or Mexican Lunch?" article,

I really don't think there's anything in here

worth hurting me over.

Gossip Girl didn't offer to help?

Yeah, but only if I help her, whatever that means.

Sometimes to get your needs met,

you need to choose an unsavory partner.

You know, that might work for you at 3:00 in the morning

in the lower east side, but it's Gossip Girl.

Okay? It's been pretty nice not having her record

our every move.

Maybe for you, but without her,

I have no idea what Blair's up to.

You still don't know why she won't talk to you?

Before the accident, she was ready to run away with me,

spend the rest of our lives together,

and now... she won't even take my call.

I have to know why.

So what's your next move?

If she won't give me my answer, I'll find it myself.

Now... if you'll excuse me,

Blair should be wrapping up her breakfast with Beatrice.

I have her doorman on retainer.

Be careful. There's a fine line

between surveillance and stalking.

Yeah, getting caught, which I don't plan on.

Now if you wanna catch someone, you know what to do.

I hope you don't mind the imposition.

Not at all. With Louis at his bachelor party in Monaco,

it's a comfort to have a Grimaldi by my side,

and your kindness while I recuperated

is very much appreciated.

I wish it wasn't something so sad that brought us together.

But now we get to focus on happier things,

like your wedding next week.

How can I help?

Well, you can get yourself to Vera Wang's

to try on your bridesmaid dress.

Really?

We all make mistakes,

but I would be happy to have you stand with me next Saturday.

I feel so honored.

So hustle to Vera's,

because my bachelorette party is tonight,

and you need to be free at 5:00.

A real American bachelorette party?

I've only seen those in movies.

Sorry to disappoint,

but this won't be it-girls gone wild.

Serena has planned an elegant and intimate party.

First, dinner at Le Charlot,

and then off to the Tiffany suite at St. Regis

for Kir Royales and Kiki de Montparnasse.

Even without the male strippers and a penis cake,

I cannot wait.

Wonderful. Now if you'll excuse me,

I don't wanna be late for Father Smythe.

This fake relationship is costing me a lot of money.

I know that Blair asked us to stay together

to keep Louis from getting suspicious,

but I mean, coffee in Brooklyn

is half the price and tastes better.

Well, haven't you learned

if you want the world to think you're doing something,

you have to do it on Madison Avenue?

And $8 cappuccinos are the price you pay.

What time do we have to be at "The Spectator"

to launch your daily column?

Uh, we're actually doing it outside my office.

Nate bought cab ads, and he thought it would be fun

for me to be photographed in one

just as my blog launches at 10:00.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

What did you end up writing about?

About how my relationships suffered

under the microscope of "Gossip Girl,"

and--and now with her gone, how they're flourishing.

Yeah, or fake flourishing.

And wow. Taking down Gossip Girl--

that's a pretty risky move.

Yeah, well, I wasn't sure

I wanted to take her on so directly,

but then Nate made a really good case,

and now I can't imagine having written about anything else.

Just so you know, you're kind of the focal point

of my first piece.

Well, as long as it helps your career and Blair's future,

I'm on board, and the publicity from your column

certainly didn't hurt.

Simon & Schuster moved up the meeting for my second book

to this afternoon.

Wow. See? A second book and my--my column launching.

Doesn't seem like fake anything to me.

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

I... pressed the "close" button on an elevator door

when I saw a woman running to catch it.

Why did you do that?

It was a long ride down to the lobby,

and she was wearing too much perfume.

Diddy called it "Unforgivable" for a reason.

Technically, that's not a sin, but okay.

What else, my child?

My dreams at night...

Yes, my child?

May not be about the man I'm going to marry.

Go on.

I love Louis. I do, but...

I fear the devil on my shoulder.

Which devil is that?

Chuck Bass, of course.

I know I need to honor my pact with God to protect him,

but... I'm growing weak.

I'm afraid I might break.

Father Smythe, you are the only one

you can keep me on the straight and narrow.

As long as Monaco must have a royal priest,

I want it to be you instead of that horrid Cavalia.

Cavalia isn't that bad, is he?

While I'm loath to discredit any man of the cloth,

he's the biggest snake in Christendom since the one that bit Eve.

To have you as my royal advisor

will mean that you can be with me at all times.

You'll find strength in prayer.

Five "Hail Marys" and a "Glory Be."

Thank you, father.

Today's "Spectator" is ready to be uploaded,

and the photographer's downstairs

to cover the debut of Serena's column.

All right. Just give me five minutes.

I need to do something first. Thank you.

"Spectator". May I help you?

Nathaniel.

Hey, Chuck. Can you hear me?

Why do I hear church bells?

Blair was inside a church for a half an hour.

Please tell me you didn't follow her inside.

Of course not. I didn't wanna risk blowing my cover

or bursting into flames.

What's going on?

Well, I just sent it to you.

Who is that?

It's Charlie Rhodes' ex, Max.

The one who tried blackmailing her?

Yeah, and this photo was taken the night of the accident.

Right? He's leaving the Empire with an envelope full of cash.

You think Gossip Girl knows more than she's saying?

Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

I'll have security pull footage from the night of the party,

see if there's something we missed.

Sounds good.

Is it true Blair plans to replace you

as soon as she's princess?

It is, but it doesn't matter,

because she's never going to become princess.

You will see to that.

Yeah, I don't know if our plan is going to work.

Blair's bachelorette party

seems like it's going to be a very staid affair.

Well, not if you're there.

And there will be liquor, no?

See that she drinks a lot of it.

You're not going back on me now, are you?

Beatrice, Blair is still in love with Chuck.

She just confessed it to me.

If we don't stop your brother's marriage,

I will lose my position in the royal court,

and you will lose me as well.

Is that really what you want?

What do you want me to do?

Help Louis to see the truth about Blair.

Get her drunk and alone with Chuck Bass.