Hacks - First Season

== Hacks == Season 1 - Episode 10

Episode Title: "I Think She Will" Aired on: June 09, 2021

- Good morning, Las Vegas. - Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Can you hear me okay? - Yeah, it's very loud.

- Softer. - Too loud.

Right. Good.

Now, it is my pleasure to introduce to you

the CEO and Chairman

of the Palmetto Casino and Resort,

the wickedly handsome Marty Ghilain.

Thank you, Madame Mayor.

I think I'll just project.

I remember the first time I saw Deborah Vance perform.

Hey. What happened?

I thought we were all gonna drive together.

I promised Deborah I'd stop being

"Little Miss Seatbelt Bitch."

Got me.

You two have been sharing a schedule for weeks now.

- Well, she's being kinda weird.

Like she's avoiding me.

- It might be about your signature scent.

Did you switch it up recently? - What?

- Well, last summer, I thought that she was mad at me,

but it turns out that she just hates Acqua di Gio, so...

- Was one of the best decisions I ever made.

- Huh. - She helped put

Vegas residencies on the map,

and now we're literally putting her on the map.

So even though tonight is her farewell show...

- Aww. - She's not going anywhere.

Mayor?

It is my honor and my duty...

- Oh, my God. - Fuck.

- To present to you all Las Vegas's newest street,

Deborah Vance Drive.

- You didn't have to come, you know.

I know you're mad at me,

but I'll always be your biggest fan, Deb.

Switch with me.

Give them your good side. C'mon.

- Over here, Deb. Over here.

- There you go. Guys, right here.

- I've heard a couple of you out there complaining

about this 115-degree heat.

I'll tell you what, I love it.

Kayla, it's red--red!

Kayla, you just ran a red.

I'm so annoyed.

I cannot believe I have to rush to Vegas last minute

to clean up your mess.

I'm sorry. I know.

When we get there,

drop me off at Arrivals, not Departures.

I cannot miss this flight. - Drop you off?

I'm on your flight, babe.

2A and 2B. You prefer the middle.

Wait.

No, I don't prefer the middle. And what do you--

I can't sit in the middle.

- You're not coming on the trip.

What're you talking about?

- I told my dad that it was, like, my first business trip,

and he was, like, so proud.

But I can cancel the ticket. There's, like, no problem.

- No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

- I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Just come. Just come.

- Really? - Yeah.

Yay!

I made us a Vegas playlist.

Oh, no. That's my sex playlist.

I can't listen to that without thinkin' of the deed.

- Kayla, watch the road. - The big D.

- Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road.

- Can you get pulled over for having too much fun?

- Yeah, I think so. - Oop!

Sorry, I almost--I thought we were gonna crash.

Thanks for the ride.

- Well, I wanted to talk to you about something.

Oh, my God.

You're not serving me again, are you?

No, no.

Oh.

In the show tonight,

I'm gonna be talking about you and your father

and some other difficult things

that I've never talked about on stage before.

- Okay. - And, you know,

it might not be the easiest to hear

or to have out there, so that's why I'm telling you.

Awesome. Thank you. Got it.

No, I'm telling you

because if you don't want me to do this show, I won't.

Right. Yeah.

Kinda like how it was my choice

to do that Weight Watchers ad with you?

Like that? - No.

I mean it. I'm asking you, DJ.

Oh. Okay.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

You've always known the right thing to say.

I mean, on stage, anyway.

So I'm sure that if you think you should,

then...then you should.

Great. Okay.

Then I will. - Okay.

Did I ever tell you I get recognized

from that Weight Watchers ad all the time?

- No. - Yeah.

A woman in the airport stopped me

and said that we inspired her.

- Oh. - I know. It was so sweet.

I almost didn't tell her we're just naturally thin.

God.

Thanks for getting lunch.

- Well, that's not all I got you.

Bam!

Oh, God. Toe shoes.

- For our trip. - Oh, they're horrible.

I love 'em.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So how'd it go asking for time off?

Easy. Almost too easy.

Deborah's been so focused on this new show

that everything I do takes a back seat.

I'm sorry.

I know you don't like when I just complain about her.

- No, I don't mind that you talk to me about Deborah.

I just--I feel like

I'm not the only one you should be talking to.

You should talk to her. - Oh, no.

I've seen Deborah fire drivers for stopping at a yellow light.

I'm not about to go there.

Besides, I wouldn't even know what to say.

Okay, so let's practice.

Tell me what you'd tell Deborah.

- Come on, you know I hate this therapy stuff.

- It's not from therapy. It's from mental health TikTok.

- That's even worse. - Okay, come on. Do it.

Okay.

Deborah, I have prioritized

your life and business ahead of my own.

And now you're doing this whole new thing

that I'm not a part of, and it doesn't feel like

you even think about how it affects me.

I'm starting to feel like I'm putting my life on hold

for someone who isn't fully considering me.

You're so cute.

- That will not be her response.

- It might. I mean-- - It won't.

I was entranced. Mm.

Huh.

- Hey. - Hey--holy shit.

What're you doing? Why are you wearing lingerie?

- Um, it's not lingerie. It's regular pajamas.

- Okay, why are you wearing regular pajamas?

- So it looks more believable that we're on our honeymoon.

- What? - Oh, the hotel thinks

we're on our honeymoon.

That's how I got us this amazing room.

Us? Oh, my God.

I thought you were just using my bathroom.

You need to get your own room and you need to do it now.

- I guess I can ask the guy when room service comes.

- We are not ordering room service.

What the fuck are you talking about?

- Uh, yeah, we are. I ordered us champagne.

Why?

- To go with the chocolate-covered strawberries.

What are you not getting about this, dude?

Wh-wh--Kayla! Jesus!

You are my employee.

You can't share a room with me, okay?

You're gonna get me in trouble.

Uh, why?

What're you gonna do? - Nothing!

What're you gonna do? - Oh, I don't know.

Answer the phone. Take messages.

Think of ideas for emails. My job!

- Okay, first of all, it's not your job

to think of ideas for my emails, okay?

- You're a buzzkill. - All right.

And second of all, you're gonna do that stuff now?

You haven't been doing your job for six months.

Shh. Settle down, horsey.

Sh, sh, sh. Sh, sh, sh.

Why are you so mad? I did good.

I got us the honeymoon suite upgrade for free.

You're always telling me to watch expenses.

- I've asked you to watch your expenses,

like Sugarfish for breakfast.

- In Fiji, they do eat that for breakfast.

- I don't care what you eat for breakfast.

You can't charge $50 breakfasts to the company,

but you can charge two separate rooms.

I'm your boss.

- Okay, well, my dad owns half the agency,

so it's not really your typical boss-employee dynamic.