Sight Unseen

Where’s the bathroom?

This is nice.

If you're into a Unabomber vibe, I guess.

Who?

There's no way this is worth a million bucks.

1.3 million, technically.

Pssh.

That's what the guy said.

Huh.

Dibs!

Dibs?

What are you, 12?

You snooze, you lose.

I don't want to sleep in Dad's bed anyway.

Feel better?

I've been holding it since Portland.

Should've said something. We would’ve stopped somewhere.

Eh.

I'm used to it.

Can't really dip out of a four hour surgery, you know.

Isn’t that bad for your kidneys?

What's up there?

Expecting a ghost?

Well, I wasn't.

It’s nice up here.

Mm.

What?

Who are these people?

Dad's friends?

Do you keep framed photos of your friends?

Maybe It's like the people who come in the frame when you buy it?

I don't know.

Maybe.

What's that?

Guess Dad discovered his inner grandma as he got older.

Better than finding a gimp suit in the closet.

Gross, Dustin.

Hey, what do you think this is?

Oh!

What?

What the hell were you doing up here, Dad?

Isn't it kind of weird how empty this place is?

What do you mean?

I mean, this looks like a model home.

Where's all Dad’s stuff?

Maybe it’s in his room?

Nope! Just some ratty old clothes.

Does anyone have any service?

Nope.

Uh uh.

It's fine.

Didn't have emails to respond to anyway.

Think of it like a digital detox.

It's good for you.

Why are you so cheery? You’re like Mr. Internet.

We own a house now.

How are you not cheery?

Is this the only other bedroom?

Yep.

It just keeps getting better.

I can sleep on the couch if you want more space.

It's fine. It's only two nights.

I don't know why you two are being such Debbie Downers.

This place is sick.

And a mere six hour drive from the airport.

A picturesque six hour drive from the airport.

Dude, none of us live anywhere near here.

Beth’s close.

I wouldn't call New York close.

It's not like I can pop up from Dallas every weekend.

I'm just saying, when an investment opportunity like this comes along.

Is there an outlet back there?

You have to act.

Nope.

This place is an investment opportunity?

Uh, yeah.

Have you seen housing prices these days, Em?

How is investing in a house better than just selling it?

Okay. Have you heard of passive income?

I prefer immediate income, thanks.

Ok, some fresh paint, some new sheets.

Some wine mom art on the walls, and bam!

We are charging $600 a night for a deluxe vacation rental.

I don't want to be a landlord, Dustin.

You don't have to do anything.

I'll take care of all of it.

From Miami?

Maybe I'll move up here.

To Lester?

Dad did it.

Yeah, that worked out great for him.

Besides Miami's like, so over.

Didn’t you just move there?

Yeah, like, three years ago.

Maybe I'll learn to renovate things,

you know, become a handyman.

You're not exactly Bob Vila, Dusty.

Who?

What was that?

Didn't you fail shop class?

Yeah, like in seventh grade.

Guys. Hey, did you hear that?

Hear what?

Heard that.

I’m sorry, where did the stairs come from?

They were folded up.

They must have come unlatched.

What's up there?

Maybe it’s where all Dad’s shit is.

It’s stuck.

Come on, use those gym muscles.

I’m trying, it's not budging.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Wow. You really showed me.

Screw it.

Let the next owners deal with it.

Next owners?

Hello there!

Now what?

Can we help you?

Just your friendly neighbor realtor popping by.

Are you all interested in the property?

Uh,

this is our house.

This was our dad's house.

I didn't know Mark had children.

We didn't know he had this place.

Well, I am so sorry for your loss.

It's okay.

We didn't like him that much.

Oh, well, I'm Grace.

I live just down the road.

I'm Beth.

That's Dustin and Emma.

You know,

I actually sold this place to Mark.

It was such a relief to finally get someone

in here to take care of things.

And so unfortunate.

What happened to him.

The medical examiner said he fell down the stairs.

Yes, I was the one who found him.

Would you like to come in?

No!

Uh, no. That's fine.

I, I've got to, I just wanted to see who might be the next,

My new neighbors.

Have a nice day.

Nice to meet you.

Do you think she and Dad were, you know?

Why do you insist on talking about Dad’s sex life?

She seemed nice, at least.

Did she say she's a realtor?

Yeah.

Shit, we could just have her sell the place.

Um, why would we sell?

This place can print money.

Right.

By selling it.

No, by turning it into a vacation rental.

And there's enough land.

We can build a few more cabins.

Remember the time we tried putting together that Ikea desk

in Beth’s dorm room?

It only needed three legs anyway.

Obviously, we would hire a real construction firm.

Are you paying for that?

I just said we would use the rental revenue to fund the whole-

Would we?

What should we do for dinner?

How about pizza?

Sure.

Fine.

Great!

What toppings?

- Olives. - Pepperoni.

I'll get half and half.

I'll go with you.

Do you want to come?

No, I'm just going to chill out here.

I read somewhere that ordering olives on

your pizza is a sign of sociopathy.

I’m not even sure this place is open.

Is there anything else around?

A liquor store.

Oh, yes, please!

Do you have any cash on you?

Mr. Miami Big Shot can’t can't buy his sister some booze?

I forgot my wallet.

You shouldn’t be driving without your license on you!

Oh, glad to see you're still a Ms. Rules Follower.

Shit!

What?

You didn't see her?

See what?

The woman crossed the street right in front of the...

Do you want me to drive?

It's fine.

Forget it.

Great.