Hacks - First Season

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Welcome to Seven Graces Surgical Center...

Okay.

Fuck!

- Once your procedure is complete,

you'll heal in total comfort and complete privacy

in our award-winning wellness center.

Seven Graces, it's not just recovery, it's rejuvenation.

- This is Marcus. - Hey, friend!

- Who is this? - It's Ava.

You don't have my number saved?

- No. What's up? Is everything okay with her?

- Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, absolutely.

Everything's great. Deborah's great.

She's just, um, she's still in surgery.

I was just wondering--

You know what? I was wondering.

Do you--do you happen to know her, um, her phone passcode?

- And why do you need that? - Um, you know,

I was actually thinking I should probably

take some goofy selfies on her phone.

You know, just to cheer her up when she wakes up.

- Well, while that definitely sounds like something

she'd love, I can't help you.

I don't have the code. She uses Face ID.

Face ID, fuck!

Um, you know what, Marcus?

You can--you can go ahead and save my number,

if you want, 'cause you know, we're kinda becoming

friends.

- I will. - Okay, bye.

== Hacks == Season 1 - Episode 6

Oh, no.

Should've tried 'em on.

Episode Title: "New Eyes" Aired on: May 26, 2021

Girl, did Andre try

to sell you some of his edge growth formula?

Mm-hmm.

- Do you think it works? - Do you think it works?

Don't forget, he thinks the earth is flat.

That boy's an idiot.

- Yeah, he's a fool. - Oh, girl.

We gotta stop buyin'-- - Mom, if you're gonna

housesit, at least close the door.

Honey, why are you home?

Change of plans.

I'm not going anymore.

And Costco, Mom?

You said you were having a few people over, not a frat party.

- I am. I am. I'm--it's not a party.

Miss Loretta, what's that?

- This? - Mm-hmm.

Party platter.

- This is why your building banned parties.

No! No, no.

- We got banned because they're losers and they're jealous.

- They're jealous. - That hole in the wall,

that coulda been made by anything.

- The keg-shaped hole in the wall

could've been made by anything?

That's the one, yeah.

Okay.

- Well, anyway, now that you're here,

come help me slice fruit for the sangria.

- No, I'm just here to get my camera.

Sanford's showing me some properties in Huntridge.

Oh, of course.

You got the weekend off from work,

so you're gonna fill it with more work.

Honey, you have caught a disease from Deborah,

and it's called workaholism.

-Mm, that's bad. - Mom--

- Hm? - Flipping houses for me

is not work, it's pleasure.

- Well, if you love it that much,

why don't you just do it full time?

- Because I helped build Deborah's empire.

I'm not gonna walk away from it.

- All that work is why you haven't met someone.

- Oh, okay. - Which really disappoints me,

'cause I wanna go to a gay wedding.

Girl, I've got an outfit that I wanna wear

that the straight people would just not understand.

- Oh, um, where are your dog bowls?

I don't have a dog,

- so I don't have dog bowls. - Mm.

- See, that's gonna be a problem.

- Yeah. - Because I said

that pets were welcome. - Welcome.

- And, um, encouraged. - Encouraged.

- Mm-hmm. - All right.

I've just decided that I'll be staying at Deborah's tonight

and the cleaning lady will be here at noon tomorrow.

- Noon? - Oh, baby-baby, uh,

let's make it 1:00. - Let's make it 2:00,

'cause I wanna sleep in, you know.

- We love you! - Love you, too.

- He's mad. - What's wrong with him?

Why he don't like dogs?

Hi! You look--

Hi.

- You look like a ball girl at the U.S. Open,

and not one of the fast ones.

She seems like herself.

Okay, Deborah.

I'll let, uh, Perla take it from here.

- Perla? No, oh, God, no. - Hello, Miss Deborah.

Oh, God! Uhh--

- Are you okay? - Oh, no.

- Everything's okay. Miss Deborah and I

just have complicated history,

and she hate me very much.

Okay, let's get you into bed.

Nice and easy.

How are you feeling, my funny lady?

- Why are you speaking so slowly?

I didn't get brain surgery.

That's a good one. I'll be right back.

- Ahh, here. Come here.

- Yeah? - Uh, get her out.

Okay, okay, I will--

Um, Perla, can we talk outside for a second?

- Yeah, of course. - Okay.

Ugh.

Yeah?

Um, maybe you could see

if there's another nurse available.

It's not--it's not personal. - Oh, no, I wish.

No, but we are very booked this weekend

so everybody is assigned. - Oh.

- Plus, Miss Deborah is long time patient.

And she's known for being, um, you know, bitchy.

- Yeah, awful. - Only Perla has special touch.

- Oh, wow. Okay.

Um, maybe you could just go

and let me handle some stuff for the next couple hours.

- Okay, yeah. I go for a bit.

She'll probably be sleeping for next few hours anyway.

Just make sure, if she needs bathroom,

you go with her, okay?

- Ah-- - Because she won't use walker.

Hm? She could faint.

Yes. Of course.

I will accompany my boss to the bathroom.

- Okay, good, call me if she starts acting weird, okay?

- Okay, great. I'll--I'll let you know

if she says anything nice about me.

You funny lady, too.

I take care of you when you get your chin fixed.

- What? Do I need--I need--

Okay, bye-bye.

Uhh--

Ohh, oh.

Ew, no.

- Hello? - Hi, girl.

Do you mind coming to me tonight to hang?

I lost a contact in the back of my eye

and I think it's a little risky for me to drive.

Shit. I'm sorry, Kiki.

I'm, like, an hour outside of Vegas.

I had to come with Deborah to this weird surgery place.

Oh, bummer.

It's all good, though. Hope you're getting overtime?

I'm not, but hey,

you don't know Deborah's phone passcode, do you?

- Mm, no. Sorry. Why do you need that?

Oh, did you try her birthday

but ten years earlier than what's on Wikipedia?

That might work. - Of course, I did.

It was the first thing I tried.

But no, I--I just--I had an awful night last night,

and I was really coked up and--

It doesn't matter.

I--I--I just--I left Deborah a voicemail,

and I need to delete it but her Face ID isn't working

'cause she just had surgery and her face is swollen.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit!

I have an amazing idea but it's kinda insane.

I will try anything.

- The museum will be closing in ten minutes.

- Oh, my God! Uncanny.

Wow! Okay.

Whoo! Oh, okay.

Whoo. Delete.

Ah, Wow.

Deb, you almost had me.

Whoo! Ha, ha!

Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought my boss was in here,

not some young woman with perfect eyes.

Ah--no, no, no, no, no.