NCIS

It's beautiful.

Awesome.

It looks just like every other one we sell.

Yes, but this one costs one-third the price.

Shouldn't we buy American-made products,

not overseas knockoffs?

Price gouging is rampant in the funeral market.

It's the only way to change the system.

Listen to your brother and help him unload the last ones.

Daddy's boy.

The casket market will continue to be run by "The Big Three"

until small funeral home owners come together.

We must think outside the pine box.

Dad?

You don't like my gallows humor?

Dad, get in here.

Is there damage?

Not exactly.

Someone's been living back here.

That explains the smell.

Still think international shipping is worth saving a buck?

At least they're already gone.

And they only opened one box.

Well, thank goodness, it doesn't look damaged.

- Oh, my God. - Ugh!

They already come with customers.

That is a good deal.

Gallows humor.

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

It was supposed to be fun.

I know. It started out that way.

I know.

Why am I now questioning my very own existence?

Ooh.

What happened in here?

Someone leave religious tracts on your desk?

I'm helping Tim apartment hunt.

A new place is supposed to mark new life, new goals,

personal evolution. Yes.

Not a sandpit of crushing self-realization.

- No. - Mm.

That expensive, huh?

Super. Ridiculous.

I mean, it's not like Delilah and I are looking

for Downton Abbey, you know,

but, I mean, something with a little bit of space,

maybe close to a park, would be nice.

I recently downsized and ended up paying more.

Yeah, that's a bummer.

Hey, did you ever notice in the elevator

that the vacuum marks go in two different directions?

It's kind of interesting.

You have nothing to add to our conversation?

Uh... no. I like my place.

Well, of course you do.

It's beautiful and spacious.

Yeah, with a view.

The doorman can be cranky.

How much do you pay?

Huh? Come on, that's personal.

Over three grand though?

Three diesels? I can't afford that.

A place like yours wouldn't go for under three

even if the doorman were a giant cockroach.

Senior told me

that there's two things you should never discuss at work--

mortgage payments are the second.

Uh, what? You own?

Cat's out of the bag.

It's a pretty funny story, uh, actually.

Not ha-ha funny, but, uh...

Wait a second, you had that place before I got to NCIS,

so you purchased it when you were a probie?

How?

Loan from your dad?

Generous cougar?

Dead body. At the mortuary.

Not exactly a news flash, boss.

Let's go.

Grab your gear.

So what's the deal?

Was it an inheritance or...?

It takes two weeks for shipping containers

to cross the Atlantic.

And no shuffleboard on the lido deck.

Just pillows, junk food and a few fashion magazines.

Which is pretty much nirvana.

For me anyway.

Others might go crazy.

Like our victim. Yeah.

No obvious cause of death.

Could have been from boredom.

Metro pulled, uh, an I.D. out of her pocket.

Name is Sandra Billingsley.

A guard at Prickwillow Prison in England.

Sounds like a Dickens novel. Love the British.

Doesn't explain why she's living in a sea container.

These might.

These are prison jumpsuits.

Are we looking at the bad end of a prison escape?

We are a family business.

Uh, an American business.

And we support other American businesses.

Usually.

We pass our savings along to our customers.

Always.

Container was opened before it arrived?

I assumed the customs inspectors broke the seal,

but now...

We never saw anybody go in or out.

Huh. Okay.

Thank you.

Hey.

Our dead prison guard was taken hostage

in a prison break three weeks ago.

NCA.

British National Crime Agency and Interpol

both thought the fugitives were still in Europe. Oops.

Boss, we got info on our two missing prisoners.

Uh, the first one is Cassio Chavez.

Murder conviction three years ago.

And former MI6 officer Jacob Scott.

Espionage in '02.

Real-life spy.

Our dead body, both prisoners, all Brits.

I bring it up because there's no Navy connection,

so why are we here?

Professional courtesy.

Gibbs.

Hello, Tobias.

I thought you'd want to know because NCIS are the ones

who put Jacob Scott in prison.

Yeah, uh, we were just getting to that part.

Evidently now he is a murderer, too.

But that's just the bad news.

What's the good news?

I'm gonna put him back for you.

Domestic manhunt.

Obviously FBI jurisdiction.

This is my case.

Great.

You couldn't have just e-mailed?

I wore a hat.

Now I got to do my hair again.

It's always good to see you, Gibbs.

If you don't mind,

I have to find your missing killer.

Two prisoners escaped from Prickwillow Prison

outside London.

During a routine prison transfer,

they took a guard hostage and stole the transport van,

found dumped near River Blackwater.

When in fact they were headed to the Port of Felixstowe,

where they boarded the Maelstrom Adventure bound for Norfolk.

Less than three percent of all containers

entering the U.S. are scanned by customs.

Thank you for that fun fact. You're welcome.

Once our cons made port, a hostage was no longer required.

So they likely killed her.

Parole board may frown on that.

Throw that onto their life sentences.

Cassio Chavez murdered his own mother

after she flushed his heroin stash.

And our British spy? Jacob Scott, former MI6,

caught selling U.S. nuclear Intel to Russia.

Caught by us, NCIS.

He stole Navy info that we shared

with British allies post 9/11.

Bad time, bad man.

Hey, speaking of, uh, 2001,

I pulled some of the public real estate records

from northwest DC.

Didn't someone we know buy an apartment back then?

Yes, and in fact

if we adjust for inflation,

Tony still paid way below market value.

How "way"?

Wow "way."

Explains how you can afford it, Tony,

but not how you managed it. Who did you con?

What part of "FBI case" was unclear?

It's just for our edification.

You looking for a fight, DiNozzo?

No, not particularly. Are you?

A little bit. Well, you got one.

Director's office, now.

Why involve a third party?

Why don't we settle this right here?

Bring it on, Gramps.

What year were you born?

Keep working.

I asked Homeland Senior Division Chief Morrow to join us.

Great, another agency.

Because, as you may remember, Agent Fornell,

Chief Morrow was formerly director of NCIS.

When we put Jacob Scott behind bars.

Something that I'd hoped would be permanent.

Blame the British. I do.

It was NCIS Intel that led to Scott.

We handed him over to them for trial,