Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man

I know you're out there you wall crawling menace.

It is the duty of every New Yorker to report the actions

of these masked miscreants, so listen up!

As long as J. Jonah Jameson is CEO of Daily Bugle Communications

I won't rest until New York

has seen the last of Spider-Man.

And a good morning to you, J. Jonah Loudmouth.

Other kids I know, start their day with orange juice.

Me? I get yelled at by 100- foot tall cranky pants.

So, what gives him the right?

That wall crawling menace, Spider-Man!

Where's a little love for the Spidey- guy?

I'm out here alone every day,

trying the best I can at this hero routine.

It's not easy learning the ropes by yourself.

Let's face it... "Introduction to Super Heroing"

isn't exactly a high school elective.

Speaking of school, I still have to pick up a cake

for Aunt May before first period.

Then it's some hang time with my best pals

MJ and Harry, and maybe a nap between classes.

But first I'd better save that cop in the skidding car.

I'm starting to think Jameson's wrong about you, Spidey.

Spread the word, Chief.

Hi ya, bug-brain. I knew that would draw you out.

Oh, great. The Trapster.

I've been Spider-Man for about a year,

and I've already fought this glue stick three times.

Do they even give F minus minus?

Let's see if I've learned anything from my mistakes.

Fourth time's gotta be the charm.

This is when I leave the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man note.

Can I borrow a pen?

Interesting. Villain's eyes widening in terror,

but Spidey-sense not tingling.

For those of you new to the Spider- Man experience,

let me explain the whole Spidey-sense thing.

It's like an early warning system that kicks in

whenever there's danger. And maybe it's on the blink.

Hello? This thing on?

Whoa. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier is coming in low.

- Spider-Man. - Huh?

Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

That's the strategic homeland intervention enforcement and logistics division.

The super spies.

You super spies make it a point to sneak up

- on hard-working heroes? - Kid.

We got to talk.

No one's saying you didn't stop the bad guy, but look around you,

Is this the way Captain America would have done it?

Cap would have stopped Trapster in five seconds.

- You took three minutes. - Uh!

With lots of collateral damage.

- I do a good job. - For a clueless rookie.

Yeah... Ooh, huh?

Look, everyone starts out clueless.

Even Iron Man back when he was a novice.

...but he learned, eventually.

What would you say if I could help turn eventually

into right now for Spider-Man?

I knew it.

You want me to buy a line of self-help books.

Not interested. Besides, I'm tapped out until payday,

so if we're all done here I'm going to...

I'm serious Peter Parker.

- You know? - Everything.

Super spy, remember?

And bam! One serious part of my life...

growing up with Uncle Ben and Aunt May, a pretty typical childhood,

until the radioactive spider- bite.

Then came the powers, and that terrible night I lost Uncle Ben.

That was when I made a promise to do something good

with the hand that fate dealt me.

Things I wouldn't joke about even if I knew how.

With great power comes great responsibility.

Good words from a good man.

Uncle Ben was the best.

It's been, what, a year now?

Today would have been his birthday.

You've honored him doing what you do.

Now I'm offering you the chance to do better.

- To really learn about responsibility. - Translation?

I want to S.H.I.E.L.D. train you to be a better Spider-Man.

The Ultimate Spider-Man.

And how ultimate is ultimate?

That ultimate.

Sweet.

I should probably set my ultimate cell phone

to ultimate vibrate.

Your tech needs an upgrade. Try ours.

S.H.I.E.L.D. tech guys developed this next gen web shooter.

Too big, too clunky. I didn't say no.

With your talent and my training,

you could learn to be a better hero.

The next Cap, the next Iron Man.

One of the greats.

Thanks for the offer but, I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.

Have a nice life, okay? Cool.

Teenagers.

Impressed, Mr. Osborn?

Very, Octavius.

More than ever I'm convinced Spider- Man

is the key to military superiority.

Once I replicate his abilities,

I'll market an army of Spider-enhanced

super-soldiers to the highest bidder.

Nick Fury is a fool to think he can get Spider- Man to work for S.H.I.E.L.D.

I prefer Spider-Man the way he is,

headstrong, undisciplined, easy to anger.

And easier to turn.

I'll inform our remaining allies to begin phase two.

Peter, I've been calling you all morning. Where have you been?

I want you, Parker, to be the Ultimate Spider-Man.

- Uh, bus broke down? - Sure.

I hate to lie to MJ. Ever since we were kids

no one's been a better friend than Mary Jane Watson.

Like the time we were five and ran away forever.

Yeah, we weren't allowed to cross the street,

so we just walked up and down the driveway.

When we were twelve, we decided to finally "get serious."

- Mistake! - I wanted to show you this.

It is the duty of every New Yorker

to report the actions of these masked miscreants.

Especially that ticking time bomb called Spider-Man.

Doesn't that jerk ever shut up?

Someday that jerk will give this journalism student

- her first job. - You want to work for Jameson?

- Total nightmare. - If that's what it takes.

Jameson's the biggest game in town.

Kids like us have to be realistic, Petey. We can't all be like Harry.

Meet Harry Osborn.

I love Harry. Everyone loves Harry.

Why not? He's rich, he's handsome.

And most important, he's been a friend to me when I needed one most.

- Hey, Peter Parker. - Uh, yeah?

It's me, Harry Osborn. You know, from school. Get in.

Thanks, Harry. You didn't have to.

No problem. Dad, this is the kid I told you about.

The one who's always getting beaten up.

- It seems you could use some friends, Peter. - That'd be cool.

And perhaps you'll be a friend to my Harry.

Help keep his mind on his studies.

I wish you would stop micromanaging my life.

Give me reasons not to.

Uh, I just met you both,

but I think it's great that you have a dad who cares so much.

It sounds like you speak from experience.

I never knew my dad, sir.

But my Uncle Ben busts my butt when I get out of line.

And Peter's none the worse for that, is he Harry?

He's smiling.

My dad is actually smiling. How'd you do that?

It's a gift.

And since that day we've been best friends forever.

Well, that's life at Midtown. It's okay.

Hey, Puny Parker!

- With one drawback. - It's locker knocker time.

That sasquatch loping toward me is our reigning football star, Flash Thompson.

There's always been this rigid consistency to our relationship.

Happy first day of school, dorkus!

Feliz Navidad!

Catch you next fall.

Just once I'd like to turn it around.

Sleep tight.

If I did that I'd be everything Jameson ever accused me of.

And everything I promised Uncle Ben I would never become.

What again? You should punch out that big goon.

Stand up for yourself, boy. Why when I was your age,