Gregory's Girl

Where is it? Where is it?

In the middle. There. There!

Yeah, I've got it. I've got it.

Oh yes! Yes!

Look at that.

Calm down. I can't concentrate.

Oh! That is a brassiere.

She's got a brassiere.

- Oh, take it off. Take it off. - Transmit.

Tell her to take off her bra.

- Take off your brassiere! - Concentrate, you bastard!

Concentrate!

- Oh! - Oh, my.

- I... I can't breathe. - Oh, Andy, grow up.

I can't see.

God, Eric, where's your camera?

What a picture!

What a photograph.

I could make a fortune with a photograph like that.

What a doll. What a doll.

That was terrific.

Superb.

What are we doing tomorrow night?

coming back.

- Right. - We can bring sandwiches.

- A lot of fuss over a bit of tit, eh? - Yeah.

- Hey, look. The knickers. - Oh, yeah.

See you, Gregory.

Terrible game, eh?

Bad. Very bad.

Yeah. You've got to laugh.

- And what've you got to laugh about? - Us.

Football is all about entertainment.

We give them a good laugh.

It's only a game.

It's only a game?

It's only eight games. Eight games in a row you've lost.

Can't lose 'em all.

You push us really hard. No mercy, lots of discipline.

Get tough.

We need goals.

It's your job to get them, and you don't.

Well, nobody's perfect.

It's a tricky time for me.

Doing a lot of growing.

It slows you down.

Five inches this year.

Remember last year? I was way down here.

Are you growing a moustache?

I want to make some changes.

Good idea. It'll make you look older.

In the team. I want to make some changes in the team.

Mmm, you're the boss.

I want to try out some other people.

Switch the team around.

Take some people out.

I was going to take you out.

Oh, you don't want to do that.

- Yes, I do. - You don't.

I do.

You don't.

Well, what about Andy?

He's not even started growing yet.

He's gonna be real trouble.

I'll tell him.

A week's trial in goal for you, then I'll decide.

Do you have a jersey my size?

- Andy's a lot smaller. - Never mind about the jersey.

A week's trial, then I decide.

You're the boss. Who's taking over my position?

I want to try out some new people.

You won't regret this.

OK, so Phil Menzies is daft.

He's daft enough maybe to throw you out of the team.

I'm not saying that he will fling you. No, I didn't say that.

But he's daft. He's daft enough to do it.

Look, I'll tell you what. Tell you what.

If, just supposing, Phil Menzies is daft enough to throw you out of the team...

Well, I'll resign.

Really?

Yeah, well, when I say "resign" what I'm getting at, what it boils down to,

what I'm trying to say really is... I'll resign myself...

to making a decision, if it happens.

I'm not saying that it will. It might, but it won't. I don't think so.

Well, I'll see you later, Gregory, OK?

Where are you going?

Well, I just want to stay here a wee bit longer and watch the traffic.

I like looking at the big trucks.

Do you know that at least 12 tons of cornflakes passes under here every day?

- Really? - It's a well-known fact.

Ha. Gee, is it? Never knew that.

- I'll see you later. - Yeah. See you.

Had that dream again last night.

It was terrific.

- Hello, darlin'. - All right there, darlin'.

See ya, lads.

Hello, Gregory.

Daddy!

Two advantages about learning to drive in this new town environment.

Very obvious ones - up into third here.

The absence of traffic lights, total absence of stray pedestrians.

But you must remember in other towns things won't be so controlled.

Mirror and brake!

That's the way. Relaxed position.

Brake!

That's the way.

Come here, you.

Was that an emergency stop?

Emergency stop unsimulated, yes.

Hi, Mike.

Call me Dad, Gregory, or Pop or something.

It makes me feel better when you call me Dad or Father.

Listen, I won't take up any more of your time.

I know what it's like driving under instruction.

That was my first emergency stop, by the way.

Was it? Well, that was really good. Really good, that. OK?

Stay, Gregory.

I'm sure Mr Clark would like a minute or two to collect his thoughts, anyway.

My name's Anderson.

Erm, what's the score?

Are you going to school late or coming home early?

Hand brake in neutral, Mr Clark.

How are you, anyway?

Oh, fine. We're all very well. Your mother - you remember your mother?

Yeah, I remember Mum.

She was asking after you just the other day.

I told her we met briefly in the hallway last Thursday and you looked fine.

Listen, I've got an idea.

Why don't we meet up later in the week for breakfast?

Say 8.00 in the kitchen?

Friday?

Yeah.

- Yeah. Sounds fine, yeah. - It's a date, then.

Yeah!

Ignition, mirror, signal, gear, Mr Clark.

And we'll start the driving lessons when you've mastered the walking bit, OK?

Every bloody morning.

He's mad. He should be locked up.

Any tea?

- He must think he's invisible. - Stupid bastard!

Who is it?

It's that daft boy in fourth year.

The one that's on your football team.

I heard they were awarded a corner last week and took a lap of honour.

Oh, him. His days are numbered.

After next week, he's out, kaput, finished.

I'm going to get some new blood on the team. Big changes.

Yeah. Have a sponge cake, Phil.

A new regime. I'm signing on a new striker this morning.

Uh, who made these?

Oh, relax. It was Sandra and Alison, 3A.

Very nice girls. Very clean.

Oh, Sandra and Alison, eh?

Very nice girls, eh, Alistair?

Still gettin' the poems from wee June as well, eh?

You'll get put away.

- I like your moustache. - Does it show already?

I've only been growing it two days. Thanks a lot.

Yeah.

It's really nice. Makes you look very... grown up.

- Thanks. - Very, very mature.

Yeah, right. I mean, you look at least 15 already.

Well, I've got to scram.

I've got an important morning this morning.

One place on the team for the best striker.

I've organised a trial to see what they're like under pressure.

Well, I'll see yous later.

Are you still getting those poems from June?

Oh, come on.

You know it's not right to ask these sort of questions.

We are dealing with the emotions of a vulnerable,

sensitive 16-year-old redhead.

I may have some news for you by lunchtime, son.

I'll keep you posted.

Right. You all know what I'm looking for - a goal scorer.

That requires two BASIC skills -

ball control, shooting accuracy and the ability to read the game.

Three things. So this trial will allow me to assess these two...

three BASIC aspects of your skills, right?

What's the idea of the sandshoes, boy? Have you no boots?

I'll get some if I get on the team.

Oh, that's a dead loss, son. Go and get changed.

We play in real boots in this school from the word "go".

Right. BASIC ball control.

Trotting with the ball at your feet, 50 yards and back. Two lines.

Come on, go!

Both sides of the foot now. Come on. I want to see complete control!

Come on, faster now!

Come on!

A little bit more pace. Anybody can walk with the ball.

Come on!

Well, what do you want, lass?

Faster now!

- What do you want, dear? - I'm here for the trial.

Look, this is a football trial, dear.

Maybe Miss MacAlpine's up to something with the hockey team, I don't know,

but this here is football for boys.

That's right. Football trials 11 .00 am. I saw the notice.

Look, I'm sorry you picked it up wrongly, dear,

but it was boys I wanted for the trial.