Big Trouble in Little China

What I'd like to do today is get your version of what happened.

Oh, you mean the truth?

Of course.

First, just state your name and your occupation for the record.

Egg Shen, bus driver.

Bus driver. What kind of bus and where, please?

Tour bus. Bus for tourists. San Francisco Chinatown.

Thank you. Now, before we get to the meat of this thing,

do you at the present time have any knowledge

of the whereabouts of a Mr Jack Burton or his truck?

Oh, God. Will you leave him alone?

Mr Shen, please.

You could be in a great deal of trouble.

Half a city block explodes in a ball of green flame.

Green flame! All hell is breaking loose here.

And there are people who say you're involved,

that you might be responsible,

that you're a very dangerous man.

- Now, if you're protecting Jack Burton... - You leave Jack Burton alone!

And we are in his debt.

He showed great courage.

Okay.

Okay.

But if I'm gonna be your attorney, there are a few things that I have to know

that still don't make any sense to me.

Like...

do you really believe in magic?

You mean Chinese black magic?

Yes.

Oh, absolutely.

Are you still serious about this? And monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?

Sure. And sorcery.

And I suppose that you expect me to believe in sorcery as well?

- Of course. - Why?

Because it's real.

How can I know that, Mr Shen?

How?

Yes, how? Help me out here.

Please. How?

See? That was nothing.

But that's how it always begins.

Very small.

This is Jack Burton at the Pork-Chop Express

and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there.

It's like I told my last wife.

I says "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see."

"Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

You just listen to the Pork-Chop Express

and take his advice on a dark and stormy night. All right.

When some wild-eyed, 8-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck,

taps the back of your favorite head up against a barroom wall and

he looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if you're paid your dues,

you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye

and remember what Jack Burton always says in a time like that.

"Have you paid your dues, Jack?"

"Yes, sir, the cheque is in the mail."

Well, you see, I'm not sayin' that I've been everywhere and I've done everything.

But I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here,

and a man would have to be some kinda fool

to think we're all alone in this universe.

I can't believe you're stuck on even. This is odd!

All right, even! Another even! Come on! Come on!

You want one more? One more! All right!

- What do we got? He can't count. - Even!

Learn how to play some fan-tan here, buddy-boy!

Three!

Heaven and earth, boys. What can I tell ya?

You like that one?

What did he say, Wang? In English?

Something about beginner's luck. It doesn't translate. But he quits.

He quits?

What is this?

It's a brand-new day and the man still got 100 bucks in his pocket.

What is this?

I'm not gonna complain, because I'll bet I'd have lost my shirt in the next 20 minutes.

Now well, it breaks my heart to do this, Wang,

but I figure the next time I'm down here,

you'll just gang up on poor old Jack so fast

he even won't know what the hell happened.

- No. - Ah, sure. Easy come, easy go, Wang.

No!

Not next time.

Now.

Is this gonna get ugly now?

I hope not.

Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding,

was just a couple old friends, you know, just both of us Californians.

Shit, Wang. It's only a game.

Nothin' or double.

This knife cuts this bottle in half.

- Nothin' or double. - Bullshit.

Nothin' or double, Jack.

Why, man? Don't be stupid.

- I need the money. - I got near a thousand bucks here, Wang.

1,148, Jack.

Okay.

But not that bottle.

This bottle.

Okay.

You're outta your mind, Wang. God bless ya!

It's all in the reflexes.

It always works at home.

Yeah, have me over for dinner some year and prove it.

In the meantime, pay up: $1,148 times two.

I don't have that kind of money, Jack.

I didn't hear that, Wang.

Hey, I'm just a poor Chinese boy, you know?

Yeah, you own a restaurant. That's a hell of lot a more than me.

Yeah, right. What I meant was, I don't got that kind of money on me.

That's what I thought you meant. Now, where's your truck parked?

Jack. First, I gotta go somewhere, Jack.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I do.

So how about we meet in my restaurant in a few hours, you know?

I'll pay the money then.

Pay the money now.

Where you gotta go?

The airport.

Yeah, right. Over my dead body.

If need be.

I'll follow you.

You don't trust me all these years, Jack? That makes me sad.

That reminds me of an old Chinese joke.

Save it. I'll give you a lift.

Get in the truck.

You were gonna follow me, Jack.

I know, then I came to my senses.

So who are we pickin' up?

A girl. I don't wanna talk about it.

A girl? Where from?

Peking.

This is a big day in my life.

I should have gone home and gotten 40 winks.

A girl from China? All right, I never done that.

I mean I picked up girls from everywhere else,

but never from China. Is she pretty?

I'm gonna marry her, Jack.

Oh, God!

I've known her since we were kids.

I haven't seen her in five years.

I came here alone.

I worked my fingers till they bled.

Before you knew me, Jack,

I slept on the floor.

I saved every nickel to bring her here because I love her so much, Jack.

I can't eat, sleep or think properly without her any more.

She's gonna put my whole life in order.

Boy, listen to me. Real tough guy.

You sound a little nervous, pal.

That's why the bottle didn't slice.

My mind and my spirit are goin' north and south.

Flight number 26 has just arrived at gate number seven.

Whoa.

Who is that?

She has green eyes.

You know how rare that is, Jack?

How can you tell from here?

Not her. She's trouble. Miao Yin.

Beautiful green eyes, like creamy jade.

Trouble, huh?

Can I ask you a serious question?

Absolutely not.

Well then, would you ever just consider jumping right into...

Sure, but never with a person in your condition.

Let's take about my condition. Just what's wrong with?

You should try standing downwind where I am.

It's Miller time.

You know what I say when it's Miller time?

Wait a minute!

Don't!

Don't what?

The Lords of Death. Street gang. Punks from Chinatown.

This isn't good. What are they doing here?

Your passport please.

Tara!

Miao Yin!

Miao Yin!

Excuse me.

Let's you and me have a little talk, friend.

What?

Where'd you get that?

Wait a minute, pal.

Get that one!

Jack! Come on, Jack!

Get the car! Get the car!

Where?

Call the cops!

Son of a bitch must pay!

All right, what's goin' on, Wang? Why'd they steal your girl?

You tell me! How come it's not safe to walk in Central Park, huh,

or to give a stranger a lift anymore?

Because the world's full of crazy people, Jack. Hoodlums.

The American girl back at the airport seemed to know something was up.

Stay away from her, Jack. She's not stu. She's a lawyer.

She's a what? Oh, come on!

What the hell...?

They got a sort of clubhouse thing, you know, where they all hang out.

To sharpen their knives, huh?

I can't ask you to...

- Where is it? - Thank you, Jack.