Party Down

- We gotta go. - Why?

Because we're late and run.

- He's gonna freak out. - So what?

So I'm not the one who made him team leader.

You're the one who made him team leader.

Yeah, with good reason, so he can take all the responsibily,

and I can focus on other things.

I like that I like a man who doesn't feel the need to be in control, at all.

Well, I wouldn't read too much into it...

You're kinda the lady, and I'm kinda the man.

The lady?

- You're kinda the lady... - Ow!

- I'm kinda the man. - Good Lord.

Really?

Lady, quiet.

What don't you understand?

It's crystal clear. Ron Donald Do's...

Okay? The four P's and one B.

"Politeness, Professionalism,

Perfectionism, Proactive, Be on time!"

I have a proactive suggestion.

No, I think we get the system...

Okay, then what don't you understand Kyle?

What're you doing? Don't do that!

Punctuality. What, no, don't do that!

Now it's five P's.

No, I already have four P's,

that's an RDD.

That's a Ron Donald Do?

No, a Ron Donald Don't.

This is so confusing.

You know what I don't get?

Who says you get to be the boss?

I do. As boss, I have that authority.

You can't do that... Yeah, I can, and I did.

Okay, well hey guys, guess what, I'm the boss now.

You can't do that, because you're not boss.

Can I finish please?

Three RDD's, I dock your pay...

You can't do that, Ron!

Yes, I can too!

And Roman, that's an RDD.

A "do?" This is the dumbest

fucking strategy for productivity.

Henry, is Ron really the boss?

Yeah, Ron's in charge everybody.

See? Not that what he says matters.

Hey. Sorry I'm late, everybody.

I wanted to get my hair done for tonight...

Example. Lydia. RDD.

What, what's that?

A Ron Donald Don't.

Ron hates your hair.

What?

Oh, no, no...

Oh.

No!

Henry...?

You're in charge.

Sweetheart, a real Hollywood party!

Finally!

Everyone's in "the business," it's so hip...

So she says yes, but then right before the wedding,

the doctor's like, bad news. It's cancer.

Somebody's pitching a movie right beside me!

It's not a movie, this is my life.

I'm fuckin' dying.

Excuse me, waiter? I dropped something.

Roman! Long time no see!

You've gotta be shitting me, Munt.

I'd ask how it's going, but I think

this speaks for itself.

Remember I told you about my old

writing partner who fired me

for being a hack and a sell-out

who knows nothing about hard sci-fi?

You are a hack and a sell out

who knows nothing about hard sci-fi...

Yeah, that's why I'm throwing

this fucking party to celebrate

the huge spec sale of my sci-fi script.

I think I know one point five million times

more about sci-fi than you do, loser.

Read paragraph two.

They're making "Axiomalion" into a movie?

What idiot would hire you to adapt a genius book like that?

Actually, the author, AF Gordon Theodore?

Perhaps you've heard of him?

AF, are you having a good time?

A Calvados, two lovely companions

in conversation, I am in that seat

named for the proverbial "catbird."

Well, if you need anything, you let me know,

and this young man will fetch it for you.

Game, set, match, Joel Munt.

Now get us some champagne.

Yeah, Danielle, it's going great.

The new system's really helping discipline.

RDD's. Do's and Don'ts.

Maybe you should tell your dad about it.

How's it going, Team Leader?

I gotta go, hun.

How's it going? Good, oh good.

Lot of angles, problem solving.

Do I take a man out, get backup glasses,

or do I risk running low...

Things like that.

Well, would you like my advice?

Just, as like, a former team leader talking shop?

Just, like, talking shop?

Yeah. Sure.

I would go get the glasses.

Henry, get glasses. I'll cover bar.

Yes, sir.

Simple. Feels good.

Yeah?

Fun party, huh?

Wouldn't you know it?

I come in here to powder my nose,

but I can't even find the stuff.

Oh, well thank you very much.

Oh, man, it's like, producers galore,

I'm networking like a motherfucker.

Oh, the host asked about champagne or whatever.

What, are you leaving?

RDD...

Our host, my old writing partner,

hired us just so he can fucking humiliate me.

So, I'm glad having a good time kissing ass,

but I'm not hanging around all night

so I can be a fucking revenge piñata.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

You can't retreat. You gotta strike back.

"Revenge is a dish best served."

Shakespeare? Like, waiters, and servants

Revenge? Don't do it, that's in the Bible.

Although, we're only human, I know I am, right?

One time I got revenge on someone

by putting tuna fish in the AC vents of her car,

but then we ended up carpooling, what?

So you better be careful, because sometimes revenge

backfires and you end up with a fish smell.

My mouth is dry.

Oop. I think my contacts just popped out.

Where did you go, Mr. Contacts?

Um, Lydia, are you okay...?

Okay! I'm great!

I've always wanted to be at a big Hollywood party,

and now I am! Woo!

Good luck with your revenge!

Right.

Oh my God. Whoa.

All right, well let's think about this.

He's here with all of his fucking fake friends.

What's at stake is his image.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm trying to think of a good revenge.

Dude, piss in his champagne.

See? This is awesome.

No responsibilities. That's good.

That's really good.

What? Shit.

What? I don't have my keys.

Okay, where are they?

I think they're in my coat.

Okay, where's your coat?

In the van.

Oh God.

Um, Okay. So, the supply closet, nothing in there?

That supply closet, I can't.

Okay. It's fine. I'll call triple A...

No, no, no, no. That'll take forever.

Okay. Older model,

side locks, I can pop the lock.

I'll pop the lock.

Pop the... What is this, "The Outsiders?"

I learned a few tricks on the mean streets of Wisconsin, Casey.

So, leave it to me, all right?

Just, hurry up.

Bro, come on, hurry up.

I can't go if you're talking.

I'm not talking, I'm just standing here.

I can hear you breathing, and shifting around and stuff,

turn on the tap.

Stop watching me, I can see you out of my peripheral vision.

Fuck.

I can't go, just, you do it...

No, you know what? It's your revenge, okay?

It's gotta be your piss.

Just go, please!

Oh, shit, gotta do everything.

Fucking Hollywood.

They take a masterpiece from an intellectual titan,

and hand it over to a fucking hack.

What's the hold up?

I just went, like, ten minutes ago,

give me a break.

Fucking disaster.

You know what, no, I learned this in yoga class.

I just need to