Camp

Shh!

- Don't scream. - Chloe!

Can you get out of here?

Turn around and face the wall.

Oh, this feels like an episode of Oz.

I'm about to expose myself to you.

- What? - Through my poetry.

Oh!

Six... rounds in the chamber.

Five...

fingers on each hand.

Four...

chambers of the heart.

Three...

members of the family.

Two...

parents to forget.

One...

child in the basement.

- Wow, that's... - I'm not done!

Zero...

Out of time.

Now I'm done. What do you think?

Well, that was upsetting.

We're different than the others, Kip.

We connect to the darkness.

I wouldn't necessarily lump us into the same category.

It's true, and we both wear masks.

Now I have to go put mine back on to be with the other girls.

Okay, well, if you're gonna include me

in any future poetry shower slams,

can you at least give me a heads-up?

You almost gave me a heart attack.

Oh, my God.

- Do you have a weak heart? - No.

I do not have a weak heart.

Okay.

I got to go.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Huh? - Awesome.

Now we have a spa. Check it out.

Morning, Cole.

Hot tub.

- It was time. - Yeah.

Whenever I sit down here with a beer,

I think, "why am I not in a hot tub?"

Well, those days are over, my friend.

It's super dirty.

Yeah, there are some weird stains.

Looks like blood. I'm out.

I'm okay.

Cole!

Hey, listen, you... Oh, jeez.

It's not even 7:00 A.M., guys.

Have either of you even brushed your teeth yet?

Hey... can we keep the "jacuzz" classified

until I get it cleaned up and cooking?

Yeah?

- You looking for me? - Oh, thanks, Cole.

There we go.

You know, attendance is down from my super-scientific

business-y projections by, like, 11 people.

Could be that mormon family that just left.

Yeah, and they had another week.

We have to attract more clients.

We could get Robbie to wear a sandwich board,

send him to a gay bar.

I'm worried. My dad never lost clients.

Guess who is dj-ing the big mixer tomorrow night.

- Is it you? - Nope. Me.

My dad's super-hot Russian girlfriend got me a dj kit,

which might also be super hot, and by that, I mean stolen.

And I'm not being racist.

I just think all Russians have sticky fingers.

Yeah, I don't think you know what the word "racist" means.

After I blow everyone away at the mixer tomorrow night,

I'm gonna be in that giant sex bowl

with four honeys and a chicken wing.

I'm making us both a promise.

Well, please don't let us down.

Dude, be cool. She's not the only girl at camp.

Okay, where is it?

- Where is what? - My swimsuit.

I'm not an idiot. I know you guys took it.

Why don't you just wear a different one?

Oh, my God. Is that your only one?

That sucks.

You know what? I got to get to work.

Yeah, Mack's not paying us to sit around

at the beach all day anyway...

Well, not you, at least.

We're taking the life guarding test tomorrow.

You guys are gonna be lifeguards?

You know you have to save drowning people, right?

Which means your hair might actually get wet.

Whatever. We'll let the boys do all the boring stuff.

We'll be busy working on our tans.

I'm sure working in the kitchen

will be just as much fun.

You should check lost and found.

Used is a good look for you.

Okay, folks!

We have a big little otter weekend planned.

Tomorrow night

we have the summer kickoff mixer with Ridgefield.

And it is our turn to host.

Both: Yeah.

As some of you might remember,

Ridgefield went all out last year...

[Upbeat dance music, people cheering]

- Totally lame. - Way over the top.

But we're Camp Little Otter.

We don't need smoke and mirrors and a special performance

by Justin Timberlake to have a good time.

Tomorrow night, 8:00... See you there.

Nobody even likes cantaloupe.

I do.

In fact, it is my favorite fruit.

It's slimy and tasteless.

There are literally a million better fruits.

Wait. I get it.

Ringo's your favorite Beatle, isn't he?

You pretend to like inferior things just to be cool.

- You think I'm cool? -

Maybe I could hang out with your roommates.

I hate Chloe and Zoe.

You know, I'm pretty sure they stole my bathing suit.

What? Why?

Because they suck, and they know I only have one.

Oh, they're just jealous.

You know how they say dogs can smell fear?

Mmhmm.

I think popular girls can smell outcasts.

Yo, guys. I got to say this.

Those crispy pancakes were off the hook this morning.

That's because they were waffles.

Thanks.

So what's the deal with you and crispy pancakes?

Shut up.

No, nothing. We're just talking.

Yeah, he seems like a super-deep talker.

Whatever. You know, I mean, he's cute, but...

I've had a pretty rough year with guys, so...

I don't know.

Has anyone seen Eleanor Switzer?

I want her to do my hair again for the dance.

Last year she made me look just like Blake Lively.

Mm.

She did.

Eleanor has had appendicitis, so she's not coming this summer.

Poor thing. Oh.

I should send her a care package.

- Eleanor loves tangelos. - Mm, noted.

Um, this was just delivered from Ridgefield.

What is it?

A list of foods that are off-limits for the dance.

- What? - Apparently, they'll only drink

locally sourced punch.

I have no idea what that means,

but I really hope it's hi-c mixed with 7up,

'cause that's what they're getting.

This is ridiculous.

They're getting oreos, milk maybe.

Let's go talk to Roger.

"Gluten-free beignets"? Ugh. Really?

My people have needs.

If camp Little Otter

can't accommodate them, maybe we should discuss

having the mixer at Ridgefield.

Not gonna happen, Roger.

This is our year. That's the deal.

You're right. You're right.

I just... I hate to disappoint my campers.

But, of course, you know all about that.

You run Little Otter.

You gave me a crash course in disappointment

the first time we slept together.

Is that why you came back for seconds?

Boom!

You and that kid... Same age.

Hey, you. How's writing?

Hard and terrible.

- Still taking your morning swims? - No, I'm done, actually.

- Done for the day or...? - No, done done.

Wow.

So what are you gonna do with all your free time?

Maybe I'll become a novelist.

Looks like all you do is sit around and drink coffee.

You're not far off.

You know, Mack, if you're ever feeling sad or bored

or any of those other negative emotions that I don't feel...

Roger, just stop.

Sorry.

What I meant to say was,

if you're ever feeling a little lonely, come over.

I mean it.

Oh.

Okay. Thanks, Roger.

Eleanor?

Eleanor Switzer?