Extortion

Andy, are you ready? What are you doing up there.

I'm done with my boat, Mom.

We're gonna be late to the airport. Please bring your bag down.

I can't find it.

Did you look under your bed?

What are you doing up there?

Babe, you got the passports?

Yeah, I got them.

Daddy, Daddy, look.

Oh, yeah, it looks good, the sail looks great. You almost got it.

That's good. I checked the weather, not a drop of rain all week.

- I know, that's great. - Hello.

Can you take the luggage out? Honey, can you guys take the luggage outside?

- Andy, where's your bag? - I was saying, he has to...

Andy. Where's your bag, sweetie?

Yeah, I saw the X-ray.

Schedule an MRI and let's just wait to see what the results of the blood test are...

...and we'll talk next week, okay? Email me his results.

- Yeah, thank you. All right. - Daddy.

- Yeah? - Are we gonna go on jet skis?

Because Colin said he went on a lake and his dad let him drive a jet ski.

Six year old Colin rode a jet ski by himself?

He went 100 miles per hour.

And he also said that his dad can kick your ass because you're a doctor.

First of all do not repeat bad words after Colin.

Secondly, doctors are pretty tough, you'd be surprised.

And I highly doubt Colin rode a jet ski by himself.

Then promise me we will go together then.

- I promise. - Kevin, Andy, so you're finally leaving.

Lucas, yeah. Uh, Jules found a really good deal in the Caribbean.

We're gonna spend some quality time with the family.

Oh, that's what vacations are for. And only because of you...

...Margie and I were able to spend our last vacation together.

I know, I know, it's okay, you don't have to thank me.

By the way, Julie mentioned you can't start the lawnmower again.

I'll tell you what, I could show you how to fix it.

It's simple, it'll only take a second.

It's a small engine, and they're all the same.

I'm... I'm on vacation. I'm not fixing anything right now.

Andy, your father can fix a human heart but he can't fix the lawnmower.

Be careful, some areas are not very safe out there.

Thanks, Lucas, I'll keep that in mind.

- Toodle-loo. - Have a nice week.

Kevin, slip the concierge a little something extra, he'll upgrade your room.

Money... that's how everything works down there.

Okay.

- Thanks. - Au revoir.

- Daddy, what's a concierge? - Uh...

Daddy, is Treasure Island real?

Yeah, for sure, hundreds of years ago...

...pirates used to hide treasure on deserted islands.

Why?

Mm... so no one else could figure out where they hid it.

Why didn't they keep their treasure at home with their families?

Pirates don't have homes, you know, or families.

If they didn't have homes or family...

...why did they need treasure?

That's a good question.

Hey, come here.

What do you think? It's pretty amazing.

It is pretty good.

Yeah.

Welcome. May I have your name and reservation number please?

Kevin Riley.

Uh, I don't think I'm really particularly good at this but...

...if you were willing to upgrade our room...

...I would be willing to compensate you, personally, financially.

Certainly, let's see what we have available.

Thanks, man.

So what do you think of the honeymoon suite?

It's pretty great, nice to finally see one.

Oh, come on. Our honeymoon suite was nice.

I'm sorry our honeymoon suite did you just say?

Our honeymoon suite was a tiny bed in the back of an RV on the way to Mexico.

That sounds like fun, it was great.

- It was the worst trip ever. - I thought it was fun.

I know you did.

Love you.

- Hi, there. - Good morning, how are you doing?

- Good, how are you? - I'm good, I'm good. How can I help you?

- I want to get a jet ski, please. - Oh, man, uh...

Yep, I'm sorry but we're all out for today. You know the list is full.

So sorry. Actually, if you can give me your name I can book you for tomorrow.

No, I get it, I get it, that's cool.

Sir, sir, we don't... sir, we don't have any jet skis.

My son, he's never been on one before and I swear to you it's all he talks about.

So if there's anything that you could do it'd be great. It would mean a lot to me.

I'm not... you know what, I'm not even supposed to tell you this but...

...but you can rent a motorboat from one of the locals.

A couple of kilometers down you'll see a bunch of guys...

...and they have all kinds of boats, all right?

- Hey, mister. - What you got there?

- Five dollar fish. - No, thanks, nice fish though.

Yo, my friend, you need a boat?

- Yeah. - Only 300, bro.

- Which one? - Right there, the white one.

Right here, my man. The fastest boat is right here.

- Yeah, give me 250. Give me 250. - Three hours for $200.

Come here, you gonna like it. Right here, right here.

- Just give me 250. - He says 200.

Fun boat, you're gonna love it.

- Go ahead. - Thanks, man.

- I like this one. - How you doing, sir?

- I'm good, how are you? - Fine, this is a good boat, man.

This is the fastest boat ever, okay? That engine right there 60 horsepower.

- It came from a old sport boat. - All right.

Just $200 for three hours, cash please.

- Thank you very much. - You need my license?

Get in, come on, no, man, I don't need your license, come on.

- What you gonna do, steal my boat? - Maybe.

You can take it, I'll get insurance money.

Don't worry, just bring it clean and I'm not gonna charge you a cleaning fee, okay?

So sit down, I'm gonna show you how it works, okay?

Okay, very simple, okay, put the gear in drive.

And you're gonna put the throttle control lever up and that's it you're ready to go.

You got the life vests right there, okay.

And make sure if you got kids put them on them.

And you got a full tank of gas, be safe.

Now remember if you go swimming, remember to drop the anchor, okay?

'Cause when you come back you're not gonna see the boat again, okay.

Have a good trip.

- You can steer it, here we go. - Babe.

- Yeah? - Where did you find this thing?

Well, they didn't have any jet skis but the good thing is this is safer...

...and we're all together, right?

Wow.

Oh, I see how it is. These guys think they can take us, huh?

What do you say we show them what we can do? Buckle up.

- Do it. - Yeah, faster, Daddy, faster.

Bet you Colin never went this fast.

Kevin. Kevin!

- Yeah? - Slow down.

Okay.

Babe, listen, I think we should go back. We can't even see the land anymore.

- No. - Yeah, we got two hours left, come on.

I think it's gonna take us a while to get back. We should turn around.

All right, you know, what your mom is right. Let's turn this baby around and we'll...

- Sorry. - ...cruise around closer to shore, okay?

- No. - I know, buddy, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be a party pooper.

It's safer.

Island, island, I wanna see the island. Daddy, Treasure Island.

- I don't think it's a good idea. - Mom, just for a minute.

Can we see the island?

What do you say, Mom? It's not every day you get to see a deserted island.

Why don't we just check it out? And we'll go home and have lunch after.

Yeah!

Mom, please, please, please?

- Okay. - Yeah, full speed ahead!

Next stop Treasure Island!

Daddy, look, palm trees.

- They're everywhere. - Awesome.

- Come here, your ears are red. - Dad, you think there's treasure here?

You never know. You guys wanna take a walk around the island?

I think I'm gonna sit down and read for a little bit, you guys go ahead.

- All right. - Let's look for a buried treasure.

- All right, well, let's do it. - Get out of here.

You boys have fun.

Let's do it, come on, let's find some treasure.

- What do you think, huh? - Awesome.

Let's go see this thing. Let's see if we can make it all the way around.

Cool.

Whoa, a seashell.

Dad, look.

Wow, that's pretty cool.

Take a look inside, see if anybody's home.

Hello, darlings.

- Look, Mom, we found a cool seashell. - A conk shell, it's good luck, you know.

- Conk, can you say conk? - Conk.

Conk shell, it's good luck.

You ready?

- I'm hungry. - Hungry, too.

Let me help you up.

- Who wants Sushi? - I want Sushi.

Okay.

How about, uh...

...what do you say we get Mom a caterpillar roll?

- Eww. - Eww.

- Or a spider roll? - What about a tarantula roll?

What, no, those are too hairy, I don't like those.

How about some... start with some miso chorizo?

- Miso chorizo? - Or some edamame salami?

I don't think there's a crab there.

Probably not. What's going on over there, hon?

We run out of gas?

No, it's full.

Okay.

I think that's supposed to be down.

All right, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

I mean, anyways if anything there's...

...there's got to be a bunch of boats around.

Oh, there we go.

It's basically a lawnmower engine.

Come on, come on, come on.

It won't be much longer, honey.

All right, so how long do you think before they notice the boat is missing...

...and they come looking for us?

I don't know if they care if the boat is missing.

I rented it from a local and paid in cash.