Cougar Town

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drink lots of red wine? Yeah, and?

That's it. Plus, Grayson's got

a new drinking game. It's called "movie mash-up."

You take two movie titles that share a word, combine them,

and then you describe that movie.

For example... killer whale gives out golden tickets

to see who gets his candy company.

"Free Willy"... ooh... ooh... "Willy Wonka"...

"Free Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory"!

Ha ha!

I don't get it. How is it a drinking game?

Well, we drink while we do it.

Oh. Dur.

I got one!

A fat cartoon cat gets to play catch with his dead father.

Oh! Uh, uh... "Garfield of dreams"!

Boom shakalaka! Are you kidding? I haven't gotten one yet.

See ya, pale guy. Bye, nerd.

Bye, honey. I can't believe our boy is going away to college.

Are you freaking out that Travis is leaving?

I am a little,

but I've got this great new shrink.

Plus, I can always lean on my Grayson-ship.

Grayson-ship?

It's when you're in a relationship

with an emotionless robot. I don't like to feel.

No, he doesn't. You know how I deal when things get stressful?

I embrace my Spanish roots.

Siestas. Every day. 2:00 P.M.

No matter what.

Mr. Torres, Mr. Lavery's here.

Not now, Paul. Very busy.

Paul! Where's comfy blankie?

Starting tomorrow, 2:00 naps for everybody.

Hey, guys.

A crime-solving dog deals with racism in Brooklyn. Whoa.

Oh. No, wait. I got it. Crime-solving dog?

Uh, oh! "Marmaduke"... "Marmaduke"...

And, uh, racism... and, uh... "Gone with the wind"...

Marma... Uh, I have no clue. "Scooby-Do the right thing."

You suck.

You know, your parents are gonna miss you so much, Travis.

You know who's gonna miss me third most?

Your girlfriend? Look in the mirror, Farrah.

Please.

I don't miss people. I dismiss them.

Second dad... "peace!"

Third dad... "whatever, Doug. Don't let the door

hit your wheelchair on the way out." Buh-bam!

When I'm gone, it's just gonna be you and the old people.

I keep you young.

Beep-beep boop-bep-boop

you go to bed at 9:30, Travis. Only on school nights.

Yesterday I was tearin' it up with my boys,

Lionel Richie style...

all night long!

I got 20 bucks that says

I can stay up longer than you.

Done.

What were you and your crazy buddies doing anyway?

Emilio Estevez movie marathon.

The Estevez Festivez.

I'm thinking about reinventing myself in college.

You have to.

Oh. I don't want to be late for my shrink's appointment.

My dad called me drunk again last night.

I don't kn why you waste your money on therapy

when you have me. If I have a problem,

I just go to you. You don't have real problems.

It's always, "my husband loves me too much"

or "I hate my nanny's hair."

Pigtails at 50? Really?

Look, Glenn's a professional.

Already hate her. You wouldn't if you met her.

I told her how tight I was with Travis,

and now she bases our entire therapy

on this incredible relationship

she has with her own son Gabriel.

We've been dealing with my past, my divorce...

Oh! And she helped me get rid of my finger guns.

"Jules, they don't control you. You control them."

See, they're just hands again.

Well, I already know what she's gonna say about your dad.

He's a grown-up, and it's not your job to take care of him.

Right. Because it's that simple.

Jules, your father is a grown-up.

You do not have to take care of him.

Would you please just take care of you?

Right. It's that simple.

It really is. Feel like a little honeysuckle today?

Bring it, Glenn.

So where were we?

Are you still in a codependent relationship

with your ex, feeling like you don't deserve

all the good things in your life? Yes and yes.

So I guess that I should

move forward with my kitchen remodel? I would.

Hey okay, that's great.

Hey, you know what? It's good to have a little guy time.

Last few weeks, I've been with Jules nonstop, so it's...

Oh, I'm sorry, man. Is that... is that weird

for me to talk about her?

No, gray-hound. I'm fine with it, buddy.

Bobby Cobb is a rock.

I mean, sure, he used to carry a torch for her,

but that torch has been snuffed out.

Hell, I eat lunch with her every workday. He doesn't care.

I know, cheddar. I mean, I-I can...

it binds me up.

You know, actually things a going really well with Grayson.

That's great.

Who's Grayson?

My boyfriend.

Jules, didn't he try to choke you?

No, no. There's no choking. There's no choking?

No, no, no. Th-there's no choking.

I must be confusing you with another patient. Oh.

Go on. Tell me about Gordon. Grayson.

Fun name. Share.

Well, I feel like for the first time,

I-I'm not getting too far ahead of myself, and...

Mm. Oh, God. Did you just bust me with a look?

I do what I do.

I am getting so far ahead of myself that I've actually

named the Asian baby we're gonna adopt.

Arthur.

I'm so embarrassed. Oh, please. There's no judgment here.

Do you think that I feel embarrassed that I believe

that this little crystal stops me from having cancer?

Well, it doesn't. Oh, it really does.

It really doesn't. It does, Jules. No judgment.

Okay. The reason I chose therapy... or I'm sorry,

I should say, the reason that therapy chose me...

is because I'm an empath.

I don't know what that means.

I know exactly what you're feeling

because I have been there. Oh.

Do you know how tight you are with your son, um...

Travis. Travis. Well, the first time I let my little Gabriel go

and have a sleepover at his friend's house,

I cried the entire night.

Soul mates.

This'll be good practice for the all-nighters

I'll be pulling in college.

Please tell me by "all-nighters"

you mean partying and not studying.

Can't it be both? No.

Hey, hey. It's 3:00 in the morning.

I have to take the bar tomorrow. I'm sorry, babe.

Big whoop.

I have to go to a bar tomorrow.

Okay. I'll give you an easy one.

Daniel day-Lewis plays a wheelchair-bound artist

who wants to have a high school dance,

even though the town preacher forbids it.

Wheelchair... dancing...

"My left footloose."

That's not easy. Ow! Stop hitting.

All right. Listen, if you want to play anymore,

then you're gonna have to choose one of the six movies

out of my DVD collection.

And, yes, two of them are hip-hop ab videos,

but I don't care. Would you just please make it work?

I was thinking about taking tomorrow off.

From what, work?

No, from... from you. I mean, from us.

This is coming out wrong.

No, I-I think it's coming out perfectly.

It's like saying, "I hate you, " without all the mean words.

I-I don't understand.

I-I thought that our Grayson-ship was...

was going great.

Our Grayson-ship is... got me.

Our relationship is going fine.

I just want 24 hours for myself, okay?

It's not a big deal.

It's a huge deal, Grayson.

I mean, anybody who knows anything about anything

would think this is a huge deal.

No, they wouldn't. Really?

Sure. Take a day off. No big deal.

Thanks, doc. Hottest doctor I've ever seen, by the way.

Thank you. Inappropriate.

See you in the car.

Wait. That's it? He wins?

It's not fair.

I know it's not fair. Nothing's really fair.

Ignore him. Just ignore him.

***

So it is 10:17. I will see you in 24 hours.

Oh. Who cares what Glenn says?

The hell with her. Let's go camping. You don't camp.

Shh! What do ya say?

See ya tomorrow.

He just left,

and I'm already jonesing for his cuddles.

Grayson's a big cuddler?