Storm of the Century

My name is Michael Anderson

and I'm not what you'd call a Rhodes Scholar

I don't have much in the way of philosophy either...

but I know one thing:

In this world, you have to pay as you go.

Sometimes, all you have.

That's a lesson I thought I learned nine years ago

during what folks in these parts call

the "Storm of the Century"...

but I was wrong.

I only started learning during the Big Blow.

I finished just last week.

I grew up in Maine...

but in a way I never really lived in Maine.

I think anyone from my part of the world would say the same.

Folks from Little Tall send their taxes to Augusta

same as other folks...

and we got either a lobster or a loon on our license plates

same as other folks...

We root for the University of Maine's teams,

especially the women's basketball team,

same as other folks.

-Hey, Sonny, you forgot one. -One for the pot for good luck!

Better double it, Sonny, that weatherman says it's comin' on.

Seen 'em come in every winter, they howl in and howl out...

July always comes.

Still, they say this one's gonna be something special.

But we ain't the same.

Life out on the islands is different.

We pull together when we have to.

-We'll get through her. -Yeah, like always.

When you mind the swell, you mind the boat.

What would a Frenchman like you know?

And we can keep a secret when we have to...

We kept our share back in 1989.

And the people who live there keep them still.

I know. I stay in touch.

-Oh, thank you, Martin. -You're welcome.

Hey, Mrs. Kingsbury. Angela.

I got all my canned goods now.

You wouldn't think there was a big storm coming, would you?

I just pray we don't lose the power.

Radio says it's gonna snow a bitch.

Easy, Ferd. It's just a cap of snow.

Trouble don't cross The Reach, ain't that why we live here?

Yeah...

Well...

If we get in trouble, we're in trouble.

Now, as we mentioned before,

because we really cannot emphasize this enough,

this is the storm that's caused so much misery

and fifteen deaths as it crossed the Great Plains

and the Midwest, and you see its track before you

in all its glory. Now, look down here,

because folks, here comes trouble.

This is a very atypical storm, almost a winter hurricane...

It's the sort of knuckleduster

that paralyzed most of the East Coast

and buried Boston back in 1976.

The first person on Little Tall to see Andre Linoge

was Martha Clarendon.

He was also the last person she ever saw.

We haven't seen one of comparable power

since then until now.

Will it gives us a break and stay out to sea?

as these storms sometimes do?

Unfortunately, the Weather Network storm track computer

says no.

Oh, my!

And now, Northern New England,

if none of this changes tonight,

you are going to win the booby prize.

Look at this!

Now, if neither of these two systems veer,

they're gonna collide over Maine...

Oh, dear!

We're talking hurricane-force winds

and phenomenal amounts of snow.

To this you can add region-wide blackouts...

Oh, dear... dear!

You're apt to be getting

a whole winter's worth of snow.

Now, we sometimes over use the phrase "Storm of the Century,"

but if these two storm tracks converge,

as we now think they will the phrase

will be no exaggeration, believe me.

Judd Parkin is in next to talk about storm preparation.

No panic here, just practicalities.

When they tell you the world's coming to an end,

they want to sell you cereal.

When they tell you not to panic, it's serious.

Oh, hold on!

I'm getting there as fast as I can!

I broke my hip last summer,

and I'm still as slow as cold molasses.

Can I help you?

Born in lust, turn to dust.

-I beg your pardon? -Born in sin, come on in.

Witness the cataclysmic powers of earth...

Or is it the Punishments of God?

Now, for the first time anywhere...

Do it now, before it's too late.

It's been like this all day.

Don't forget the bean supper next Wednesday-week, Michael...

I'm gonna need every deacon I can lay my hands on.

I'll be there, if we get through the next three days, that is.

I'm sure we will, God takes care of his own.

Aren't there any pork chops?

Michael, I thought for sure you'd still have pork chops.

There you go!

Ground chuck's too dear!

Don't you have any plain-old hamburger, Michael Anderson?

Yep, right... here.

Okay, folks, listen, it's a storm, that's all.

We've gotten through plenty of these before,

we'll get through plenty after, so everyone, hey, calm down!

Stop acting like mainlanders!

Don't be smart, Mike Anderson!

No, Mrs. St. Pierre, I won't be smart.

Yeah? Hold on just a second.

Hey, Mike, you got a call, it's your wife...

Says she's gotta little problem at the day-care center.

Uh-oh! Is she hot under the collar?

How do I know where she's hot, she's your wife!

Hatch, wanna take over for me?

Yo, Mike, can I borrow your whip and chair?

Better go see about that, huh, Mike?

Hey, Moll, What's up?

I got a little problem here, can you come?

I got a little problem of my own, Hon, what's yours?

- -Pippa got her head stuck!

Pippa, can I have your bread if you're not gonna eat it?

-No-ooo-oo! -

Pippa, honey, don't do that, just hold still!

-Annie, keep her calm. -Okay.

-Pippa? What about Pippa? -Oh, please, quiet!

The last thing in the world I want

is Alton Hatcher coming down on me.

Something about Pippa.

It's too late, babe... What's up?

Pippa's got her head stuck in the stairs...

It's not serious, I don't think, but...

I can't deal with a big storm

and a crazed daddy all in the same day.

If Hatch comes, you be with him.

-All right, I'll be down. -What about Pippa?

She's got a little stuck-itis, I hear. Let's go see.

How upset did she sound, Mike?

Molly? About point five on the scale from one to ten.

Don't worry.

This is gonna be one bad mother of a storm.

Mike and your daddy will be here in another minute,

and Mike will get you out.

-I'm hungry! -Can I feed her, Mrs. Anderson?

I fed a monkey once at the Bangor Fair.

I'm not a monkey, Harry!

Look you guys, I'm a monkey! Oooh-ooh!

I am not a monkey!

All right, kids, stop it. Stop it right now.

It's not nice. It's making Pippa sad!

Don, you stop! It's mean!

Don, you need to stop that right now!

Daddy!

Pippa! Hold still, you'll yank your ears right off your head.

Daddy!

Hey, there.

Pippa got her head stuck, and Don won't stop bein' a monkey.

Mr. Anderson, I stopped bein' a monkey as soon as she said!

That's great, Sally! I gotta put you down, Ralphie!

-Hey, hey! -Ow! Hey, why'd you do that?

For actin' smart.

I ain't afraid of you, my dad's the town manager...

he pays your salary.

Pushers get pushed, Donnie Beals.

You remember that. It's a true fact of this sad life...

Pushers get pushed.

-Honey, why'd you do this? -Heidi St. Pierre dared me.

What happened, darlin'?

It was easy goin' out, but now I can't get back in!

I think my head must be bigger on this side!

Well, it is, but you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna make it smaller. You know how?

No! How?

I'm gonna push your smaller button.

Then you're head'll get smaller and it'll slide out

just as easily as it slid in. Understand, Pippa?

I'm gonna push your button now, okay? You ready?

-Uh-huh. -Close your eyes.

Here we go... Beep!

Okay, your head's getting smaller,

pull it out before it gets big, there you go!

- -Thanks, boss.

-Thank you, really. -No problem.

I'm sorry if I called you away at a bad time.

I saw her head like that and when I couldn't get it

to come out on my own, I just... I freaked.