Shark Babes

So this is what you call shark research.

Don't worry.

I won't nip.

Access to sac has been granted.

It just sounds dirty.

Sarah, it stands for "shark anomaly center."

Spare me, Dr. Tom. "Sac."

S-A-C. "SAC."

I mean, am I the only one smart enough to point out this reference?

Well, anyways, what's our angle this time?

You read the reports. This area's a hotbed

of shark-wave activity,

and they wanted the best.

Well, they got us.

It smells... Like something strange.

You sure it's not your perfume?

Come on, Tom, be serious.

I am being serious. And watch it with that elbow.

Could it be that this shark phenomenon

produces a scent and not a sound?

Probably. that's what we're smelling.

Unlikely. it's probably the wind.

"Wind."

Weekend research, here we come.

Get a load of this place!

How cool!

This place is huge!

Aren't we working with some renowned shark-ologist?

When's he getting here? You mean Reginald quivers,

the only human ever to swim bareback with a great white?

Give me a break. I heard he's the real deal, bareback or not.

And where's justine and Lynne? Don't even tell me they're not here either.

Hear, hear!

The research team has arrived! Yay!

Nice of you to join us. Rough day?

Just get out of bed, sleepyheads?

Took a nap.

Have you seen the lab yet? Nope.

Come on, we'll show you. It's all set up.

Let's go!

This is it?

It should do the trick.

Sparse, but it'll work.

The computers are top-of-the-line. Souped up and ready.

We updated the os. They're ready to roll.

Yeah, but we can't do anything until shark boy shows.

Seriously? I thought he came with you guys.

That's odd he isn't here yet.

What's his deal, anyway? He is the nation's number-one expert

on shark waves, and quite frankly,

we're very lucky to have him.

Lucky and hungry.

I'm starving. I haven't eaten all morning.

I have some snacks upstairs in my bag for you.

You're always so prepared.

Well, if Reginald quivers is m. I.A.,

I'm gonna take a walk, maybe look over my notes.

And who's gonna keep an eye out for him?

Hey, he's late. His loss.

We can forget about sharks for one day. What?

We wouldn't even be here if this shark problem

didn't demand our immediate attention.

Justine, we're here to study their Sonic anomalies,

not be their friends.

Like my advisor said, the pudding is the proof.

I say we all rest up for tomorrow. The good doctor will show.

That is what he's getting paid for.

Come on.

So quivers must be quite the character.

He's who the company wants.

Sarah, if these shark waves are really disturbing

the biological ecosystem, we might be on to something big.

Could be.

I'll get it.

Hey, I thought I'd stop by

and see if the two of you need some company tonight.

I don't know. Honey?

What do you think?

Well, it is cold here tonight.

And I'm hotter than a hooker in hell.

Well, that is good enough for me.

How's the coffee? What the...

Shapely hips, flush lips, big tits.

Shark babe.

Shark babe. Yes.

Okay, but who are you?

You just be justine. I'm sorry about the fright, doll.

I know your work. It's thorough.

Yeah, but who are you and what are you doing here?

Dr. Reginald quivers. Apologies. I was out late swimming with sharks.

Swimming with sharks? Are you nuts? Sac's orders.

There's cages to be set, great whites to be tagged.

Someone has to care.

Now, if you don't mind, why don't you get the rest of the team up?

First meeting starts, dear, 10 minutes ago.

Snap to it! Time is of the essence.

That guy is our nation's number-one shark expert?

And that is our job, people.

This particular female shark

counters the sex habits of these critters

by emitting shark wave audio signals.

These audio signals cause a frenzy in the food chain.

Odd? Perhaps. But true.

In other words, this shark wave sound turns them on?

Wasn't all this just documented

in last year's goblin shark experiment?

It's fascinating, but...

Yeah, and I thought reproduction rates in this area were status quo.

What you're saying is, these shark waves are upsetting the balance of what,

the entire ocean?

Clearly, the anomaly center did not put you here for your intuitive prowess

or your critical-thinking skills.

Why, thank you, professor.

Can't we just run the tracking system, filter it,

and let the laptops go to town?

"Go to town"? People, this is not a joke.

Look, I did some research into shark wave theories.

The sex is not reproductive.

It's purely sexual, and the sound,

whatever it is, is driving sharks wild, and they don't even know it.

Finally, a voice I can trust.

Justine, thank you.

I read the papers provided by the center,

and I just don't know that I buy the story.

Really? has anyone here

ever heard of horny shark fever?

But that's just a silly story for undergrads and drunken sailors.

Not necessarily. It was four years ago, off the coast of Japan,

when me and a female partner got caught in a great typhoon,

when we stumbled upon a very mean-looking shark

beached, gasping for air.

I looked deep into those cold eyes,

those black, lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes,

when suddenly, out of its whole body, a strange sound

tickled my whole body.

It threw us to the ground,

when next thing I knew I was overcome

with a very strong sexual desire.

It was lust.

Yes, Jessica... Pure oceanic lust.

If this shark wave frenzy keeps upsetting

the natural fragile order of our ocean,

it could destroy the very balance in nature

of sharks as we know it today.

I think I catch your drift, doctor.

Hello? Jessica. Earth to Jessica.

Sorry, just zoned out a little. What's happening?

It's our shark! She's here! That was quick!

Can you pinpoint a location? Too deep, sir.

It appears she's moving toward the cage.

Cue up our mating signal. Follow it.

What she said. Do it. I'm confused.

That is our shark. Track the signal.

She's strong. She's moving into range.

-You want us to... -We're losing her.

Don't let her get away. Okay, I can triangulate.

Got it. Triangulation complete. Next?

I put a cage in place. Now, capture that shark!

What? nobody told me we were gonna trap her! That's unethical!

Holding position.

"Mainframe password"? What's the mainframe password?

You were at the debriefing. Mum's the word. Need to know.

I got it. I think.

Bait her! She dropped!

Let her think she's safe.

Okay, did no one hear me?

We're here to study, not trap her.

This is totally unethical.

She's on course. She's right on course.

Did nobody hear me? This just isn't right!

Trapping the shark will only harm her. Why doesn't anyone listen?

Okay, bitches, you asked for it.

What?

We lost power. She's gone.

It's okay. It's just a minor setback.

But someone needs to talk to that woman.

All right, people, back to work.

We've got a lot of work to do.

Just don't let it happen again, okay?

I know you want to help,

but shutting everything down in the middle

of something big is not the answer.

I don't know what came over me,

but, Lynne, I heard her.

That shark was talking to me and saying,

"justine, please don't let them do it."

Look, there is no such thing as psychic sharks.

Did you apologize to everyone? Yes.

A peace offering, ladies.

Wine?

It's good for the heart and the mind.

Come on. Let's enjoy the night.

Justine, I know you care. I really do.

But never let your feelings overwhelm you.

We both want the same thing.

And remember most of all, it's about the sharks.

Who could that be? Beats me. Only sac knows we're here.

Tom, get that, but not a word about the research.

Well, hello, there. Hi, I'm Donna.

My car broke down. May I use your phone?