Cristela

What are you doing, there?

I'm separating the yolks from the egg whites.

It's time this family got into shape.

For what? We all die in the end.

Nice. Make sure you tell the kids that.

Get them pumped up for the day.

I'm just keeping it real.

Listen, we need to watch our cholesterol.

"Cholesterol"? So fancy.

It wasn't till I moved here

that I discovered we're supposed to eat three times a day.

Well, I heard that high cholesterol

is the number-one killer of Latinos.

Mm, well, I know a couple of cartels

that would disagree with you.

Yes! Yes! Boom!

How did I sound, Dad?

You were awesome.

You were pretty... loud.

All I heard was I was pretty, and then...

Okay, I'm gonna go to a room with less Cristelas in it.

Ha ha ha.

- Hey. - Mm.

What's going on?

I'm cooking.

Yes, I just wasn't sure you knew what that was called.

Daniela thinks that the whites should be separate.

Whites separate?

Have we learned nothing from the civil-rights movement?

Henry, that is a lovely song...

with a horrible message.

Cristela's been teaching us "West Side Story"

on the way to school, a new song every day.

It starts a limited run tomorrow.

I want to take Henry to go see it.

Izzy is gonna be so jealous.

She has to miss out because of her soccer tournament.

I think it's great.

It'll give you a little taste of culture.

Oh, it's the perfect show to start with,

a show about Latinos...

usually performed by people that are not Latino.

Egg whites for breakfast.

Musical theater.

What's next... listening to NPR?

Mom's got a point.

Whites and yolks, unite!

What are you doing?!

What?

How did a $49 theater ticket double in price?

Oh, uh, taxes, service charge, and delivery fee.

Delivery fee? I'm printing them myself.

What... is there a guy gonna walk it from there to here?

Oh, "West Side Story"...

I'm, uh, going to see that closing night.

They're doing a Q&A with the cast after.

I just hope it's as good as the "Avenue Q"... and "A."

See what I did there?

If I said I enjoyed it, I'd be lyin'... king.

That's how bad that was.

I don't think I can afford two tickets.

You're, uh, you're going with someone?

Yeah, a cute guy named Henry.

What kind of loser makes you buy?

My nephew.

- Sounds like a great kid. -

I... I'm just not ready to spend this much money.

I am!

Wait, what are we talking about?

Uh, Cris wants to take her nephew to see "West Side Story."

But it's kind of pricy.

Is it?

Oh, my God! It is expensive!

Wait. You have tickets?

Yeah, to our box seats.

Ooh, you should go with me!

I hear that your people give my people a hard time in it.

You know, I'd be kind of insulted...

If they weren't free. I'll take them.

Okay.

So, um... listen up.

It seems that the, uh...

well, the firm was rated quite poorly for diversity,

so we need to show them that we have some

by taking a few pictures.

Oh, I'll take them, Sir.

No, you're the "some" I'm talking about.

I want you to star in them.

I get it.

I was the star of my college brochures, too.

I can do it, Sir.

I was the photo editor of my high-school yearbook.

Oh. Even after I graduated.

Oh, I know some diversity!

Um, what about Annie Wong in payroll?

Uh, she married an Asian. That doesn't count.

Oh. We'll take whatever we can get.

This could be tough.

Well, be creative.

And, uh, don't be afraid to use people that we're defending.

Don't worry.

I'll bring another outfit

so it looks like there's dos of us.

Ooh, you know, if I shoot everything in sepia...

Ugh, I'll still look darker than everyone else.

Daddy, I finally found someone

to go to "West Side Story" with me.

I'm gonna bring Cris and her nephew.

Oh, well, that's great!

- Mm-hmm. - It'll be like you're bringing your own sharks.

Now, you do know Puerto Ricans and Mexicans

are not the same thing, right?

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Oh, his first trip to the theater!

We need to get him a new jacket.

Ai, I know.

His old blazer looks like the Incredible Hulk after he got mad.

Oh, I just love "West Side Story."

Ohh.

Oh, Tony and Maria... it's like me and Felix.

And when she sings "I feel pretty,"

it's like she's singing about me.

My theme song is "I feel... eh."

Ah, and when Tony gets shot and dies...

with Maria crying over him?

Ohh! Ohh!

Somebody gets shot and dies?

Give me the money!

I'll take you to the corner, and you can watch it for free.

Come on, ama.

It's... it's "West Side Story"!

It's so beautiful!

You're in America. You can stop singing.

You're in America.

You can stop complaining.

So, tomorrow, we'll go get Henry's jacket.

- Yes. - Jacket?

Ay dios mío. Who died?

Somebody named Tony.

Oh, Primo Tony? No, no, no, no, no.

He's not worth a new jacket.

I'm taking Henry to see "West Side Story" tomorrow night.

Yeah, Cristela's got box seats.

Can you believe it?

Henry will be sitting amongst Dallas' elite.

Mm. Mira que fancy.

Exposing him to something he'll never be able to have again.

Oh, make it better. Take a limo. Really rub it in.

Ama, these tickets were free.

- I don't know. It's a school night. - It's an early show.

Yeah, and he can write a report about it for school!

But it's too violent.

I mean, you guys said, uh, Tony dies, right?

Felix, these are not like

the kind of gangs we grew up with.

These ones dance before they kill someone.

Henry is not going.

Daniela, a little help, please.

I think Felix makes a good point.

What?

Ooh, I'm gonna kill her.

But first, I'm gonna dance.

Hey, what happened?

One minute, we're talking new blazers,

and... and now Henry's not going?

Mm, I thought a lot about it.

When... from there to here?

It's complicated.

How so?

Because he's Henry's father, and he said no.

And you're his mother, and you said yes.

No, I said it was a great opportunity

and that I was very excited about it

and that we were gonna buy him a jacket.

I never said yes.

You're right.

I mean, why did I think

that our big dance number meant a "yes"?

I'm gonna go talk to Felix.

Wait.

If you go in there now, it's done.

He'll never change his mind.

There's, um, a system to getting what you want from Felix.

Ai, I don't want to hear this.

First, you have to give him a compliment

to make him, you know, feel good.

Talk about his hair.

He's secretly way into his hair.