Friends

That was the 10th time I've peed since I've been here.

It's also, like, the 10th time you've told us. Ha, ha.

Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, it must be hard to hear.

I'll tell you, it's easier having babies playing...

..."Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk" on your bladder.

I am so sick of being pregnant.

The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee...

...which of course is decaf because, oh, I'm pregnant. Heh.

Pheebs, you want a cookie?

Thank you so much.

So, uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?

I haven't really had any yet.

- Hey, guys. Hey.

All right. Here's the ring.

Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.

So, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Before you start handing out rings and planning bachelor parties...

...don't you have to decide who your best man's gonna be?

Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward, it's awkward.

I sort of already asked Chandler.

What? He got to do it at your first wedding.

Joey, I figured you'd understand. I've known him a lot longer.

Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers. I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

You can be the best man when I get married.

I'm never gonna get to be a best man.

Wait, wait.

So you get to be my best man twice, and I don't get to be yours at all?

Oh, no. Yeah, of course, you can be my best man.

What about me? You just said I could.

I'm not even getting married!

Okay, this is a question for science-fiction writers.

I can't believe you're not picking me.

- Hey, how could it not be me? - I'm not even...

- I'm not even... - All right, you know what? That's it.

From now on, Joey I want you to be my best man.

Yes. Shame about you, though.

- Stop it. - What?

One of the babies is kicking.

- I thought that was a good thing. - It's not kicking me.

It's kicking one of the other babies.

Oh. Don't make me come in there!

- Hey. Hey.

Do you guys have, like, a big bowl I can borrow?

Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet.

- Thanks. - Why do you need it?

Oh, we're having a party tomorrow night. Later.

Hey, hey. Are you planning on inviting us?

No. No, no. Later.

Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!

Hormones.

What Phoebe meant was...

...how come you're having a party and we're not invited?

Oh. It's Ross' bachelor party.

- So? - Are you bachelors?

- No. - Are you strippers?

- No. - Then you're not invited.

All right, fine. You're not invited to the party that we're gonna have either.

Oh, what party?

Well, um...

The baby shower for Phoebe.

Baby shower?

Wow. That so doesn't sound like something I want to do. Later.

I can't believe I'm going to have a party!

Ha, ha. That's so great. A party!

Yay! Ha, ha.

- I don't know why. - Oh.

This is what I got going for the party so far liquor-wise.

- Get a lot of liquor. - Great. Great.

Okay, now, uh, in terms of the invite list, obviously I got you, me and Chandler.

And I'm invite Gunther because, well, we've been talking pretty loud.

I'll be there.

Oh, listen. I know it's your party...

...but I'd really like to limit the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.

Yeah. Tell you what. Let's not invite any anthropologists, okay?

Just the dinosaur dudes.

Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.

Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.

I don't think it's gonna be that difficult, considering this one won't take place...

...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Heh.

Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross.

I'm too good for the Hut. I'm too good for the Hut.

Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Uh, everything so far sounds great, Joey.

Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay?

Just a couple guys hanging out playing poker.

- No strippers or anything, okay? - You got it.

- Okay, see you later. - Yeah.

Ha, ha. Have fun planning your mellow party.

There's gonna be strippers there.

He didn't say anything about no strippers.

- He just said, "No strippers." - Oh. I chose not to hear that.

Look what I got, look what I got, look what I got.

Oh.

Can you believe they made these for little people?

Aw. Little Village People.

Aw, okay. Look at this one. This is my favorite.

Oh, that is so sweet.

Phoebe's gonna love dressing them in these.

Huh. Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be the one who gets to dress them.

I guess she's not gonna get to keep the babies.

Oh, my God, we are throwing the most depressing baby shower.

Wait a minute. Unless we give her all gifts that she can use...

...after she's done being pregnant. Like, um, regular coffee. Tequila.

Oh, and somebody can get her those leather pants she's always wanted.

Oh, she's gonna love that.

What the hell is this?

You actually thought it'd make me feel better?

To give me something I can't even use for another two months?

This sucks! Oh!

All right, what's my next present?

Hey, listen, man, about the stripper...

- Yeah? - Good call.

A little announcement. A little announcement.

I've decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther.

What's my last name?

Central Perk?

Thanks for not marrying Rachel.

Oh, hey, Gunther. Don't forget your shirt.

Hey. Hey, what are those?

Little party favors. Check it out.

Wow, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh!

Aw.

Okay, little announcement.

Just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open.

And, uh, you know, so is the position of the bride.

Great.

Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.

Well, I just want to say thanks, everyone. This was great.

Okay? And hey, I'll see you guys Monday morning.

- Thanks, Joey. - Oh, hey. Don't forget your shirt.

Oh, thanks.

Ahem. Okay. Hey, museum geeks. Party's over.

Okay, wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go.

Back to your parents' basement. All right.

Come on, boys, come on out. Here you go.

Oh. Look at the birdies.

- Are those yours? - Yeah.

Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets?

Oh, yeah, yeah. And I got the duck totally trained too.

Watch this. Stare at the wall.

Hardly move.

Be white.

You are really good at that.

- Oh. - So I had fun tonight.

You throw one hell of a party.

Thanks, thanks. Yeah, it was great meeting you.

And listen, if any of my friends ever get married or have a birthday or a Tuesday...

- Yeah, that'd be great. - Okay. Ha, ha.

So, I guess, um, good night.

Oh, unless you, uh... Unless you want to hang around.

- Yeah? - Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.

Hey...

Stripper.

The stripper stole the ring!

Chandler, get up, get up! The stripper stole the ring!

- What? - The ring is gone!

Oh. Okay, just, like, give me a minute to wake up for this.

You lost the ring. You're the worst best man ever.

Dude, this isn't funny. What am I gonna do?

I go to sleep last night, everything's cool.

I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone, and the ring is gone!

- You slept with the stripper? - Of course!

Hi, guys.

Hi, Phoebe.

Ahem. I wanted to apologize if I, you know, seemed a tad edgy yesterday...

...at my shower.

You know, it's just the hormones. You know?

- No, we... Hormones. Yeah. - Hormones.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. It was just... It was so sweet.

- Oh, okay. So sweet.

Yeah. - Wow, you seem to be doing much better.

- That's great. How are things going? - Good.