Full House

Michelle, go to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.

This is not working.

I know someone who can't sleep

'cause she's thinkin' about her first day of kindergarten.

So do I.

How about if I sing you a nice, soft, soothing lullaby?

That chick knocks me out.

Yeah.

Hey, everybody, I'm home!

Hey, Comet, it's your Uncle J.

Please, don't get up.

Hey, wake up!

Wake up. Hey, everyone wake up, I'm home!

Hey, girls. Aww, I missed you.

Hey, Joseph. Hey, Michelle.

‐ Hey. ‐ Hey. It's 3:00 a. m.

School starts tomorrow. You're making lunches.

Welcome back.

That's it? I‐I've been on tour all summer and that's all I get?

Next time, come home earlier.

Becky!

'Beck, I'm home. Wake up.'

Beck, wake up.

Jess, you're home.

‐ Hey. ‐ Hi, honey.

Feels so good holding you in my arms.

‐ Have mercy. ‐ I know.

I look like Frosty the Snowman.

Aww, it's just that two weeks ago when I saw you

you looked pregnant. But now you look, huh, enormous.

Enormously pregnant.

I know, it was amazing. I mean, one morning, I woke up

looked down, and my feet were gone.

Hey, how you doin', little baby?

Daddy's home.

It kicked. What's it doin' up so late?

Honey, you have to read this book.

It tells you everything you need to know about having a baby.

Alright.

"Chapter one.."

I think we already covered that chapter.

‐ I'm out of here, dad. ‐ Oh, wait a minute. Come here.

Aww, it's my big girl's first day of high school.

‐ Come, sit on my lap. ‐ Dad!

Ah, seems like only yesterday I was holding you in my arms and

I saw my reflection in your little bald head.

Dad, I have to go. How do I look?

Cute.

Cute?

You're supposed to say I look way too hot

and can't leave the house dressed like this.

I'm sorry, honey. You look very sexy.

Hola, Deej, Big Dan.

Hi, Kimmy.

My, you look nice today.

Thanks. My dad said the same thing.

You see? Deej, you don't always have to dress hot

to attract attention.

People are gonna like you

for who you are on the inside.

'Not how you look on the outside.'

I know, it might seem weird for me to say this. But, uh..

...I think right now you could

actually learn a lesson from Kimmy.

Ready, Deej?

Well, I have to go back upstairs and change.

My dad wants me to be more like you.

No, no, no. You just, you go to school.

‐ Please make new friends. ‐ Bye, dad.

‐ Bye. ‐ Bye.

Alright, right this way. Bring it on down.

Let's swing that back end around. Swing it around there.

Right there.

I'm an expectant mother. Not a jumbo jet.

Please, the baby can pick up your sarcasm.

What are you talking about?

I've been up all night readin' that baby book and it says that

even in the womb, the baby can sense everything

that's going on, alright. So, starting right now

I want happy voices and soothing sounds.

Jess, don't you think you're goin' a little bit overboard?

Oh, is that what you think?

Hey, look, pal. I'm gonna be a father. Okay?

You know what a big job that is?

Oh, gosh, no, Jess. Tell me.

That means I'm gonna be responsible

for another human life. Okay.

And I want it to start out right.

So from now on, carry this around.

Jess, I'm not gonna listen to Elvis 24 hours a day.

I figured that, so..

I bet its little lip's curlin' up right now.

Oh, my god. It heard me call it, "it."

Beck, we have to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

No, Jess. You promised that we'd be surprised.

Ah, tat tat.

Happy sounds, soothing voices.

No, now, Jess, you agreed that we'd be surprised.

But I want you to change your mind.

‐ It's not gonna happen. ‐ Yes, it is.

‐ No, it's not. ‐ Yes, it is.

Don't you worry. Your parents aren't always this kooky.

‐ I'm not changing my mind. ‐ Yes, you are.

Hey, girls. Ready for your first day at school?

Are you kidding? This year I'm getting a man teacher

and he's a major babe.

Ooh!

Fourth grade is gonna be so awesome.

Hey, I look good, I feel good

and I'm wearing a smile that says

"Stephanie Tanner, you're a winner."

How 'bout you? Are you ready, Michelle?

Not as ready as she is.

Are the other kids gonna like me?

Well, of course they're gonna like you.

To be sure, you should do what I did my first day at school.

See, when all the kids asked me my name, I just went..

Hello. My name's Joey Gladstone.

And all the kids laughed and we became friends.

Okay, you try it.

Hello. My name is Joey Gladstone.

That's good. But next time try using your own name.

Hello. My name is Michelle Tanner.

Hello. My name is Michelle Tanner.

'Well, girls, here we are.'

This is my school? It's so big.

'Well, you're a big girl now, Michelle.'

I'm not that big.

Michelle...you're gonna be fine.

But if you need any help, your big sister's

right in the same school. Right, Steph?

Don't worry, Michelle. Kindergarten is like preschool.

Only without the naps.

Too bad. I'm good at naps.

Come on, everybody.

Are you comin', Michelle?

I don't know about this.

‐ Come on, hon. ‐ Come on.

Let's go.

Jason.

Well, here's your classroom, Michelle.

Doesn't this look like the happiest place on earth?

No, that's Disneyland.

‐ Hello, I'm Miss Wiltrout. ‐ Hi, I'm Danny Tanner.

‐ And this is Joey. ‐ Mr. Tanner.

How do you do, Joey?

‐ And what's your name? ‐ Michelle Elizabeth Tanner.

This is my first day at school.

That's okay. It's everybody's first day.

Oh, excuse me. Please don't climb on my desk there, Maxwell.

Michelle, you have a great first day at school.

I know you're gonna love it.

You'll have fun, honey.

I hope you're right.

Hey, Michelle..

...remember what I told you about making new friends. Hmm.

‐ Bye, honey. ‐ Bye, Michelle.

‐ 'Bye‐bye.' ‐ Bye.

Who are you?

My name is Michelle Tanner.

You are a strange kid.

They hate me already. I'm out of here.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Have you seen my sister Stephanie Tanner?

I don't know about this.

Alright, let me help you down here.

Ah, we'll just sit.

Now remember, we don't wanna know if it's a boy or a girl.

Okay. Alright. Yes, I understand.

This is an interesting sonogram. Boy‐‐

It's a boy!

We'll name him, we'll name him, uh, Jesse junior.

How's his hair? Does he need mousse?

I'm not saying it's a boy.

Oh. Then it's a girl.

Jessica junior.

She's not datin' till she's 35.

I didn't say it was a girl.