The Rookie

- On the plus side, it still fits.

- I was hoping to never feel wool on my skin again.

- There he is. Welcome back.

- Thank you, sir. Happy to be here.

Ready to ace my second chance.

It's just...

Are the long sleeves necessary?

- You fell as far as you could without getting bounced.

You have to earn your way back to short sleeves.

I know it's a bummer,

but I'm excited to have you back on patrol...

for a little while.

So what's happening?

Am I riding solo, or are you pairing me with someone?

- It's--it's not really my call to make.

But you know the answer.

- I should really let Tim tell you.

- But you won't, because UCs have a blood bond of honesty

that will last until the apocalypse.

So spill it.

I'm just the messenger.

I don't understand.

- Well, you won't be riding with me anymore.

Then who?

- You're gonna be training Penn.

Are you kidding?

- Not only do I have to go back into the suck

that is uniformed police work...

- Not only do I have to walk a high-wire act to perfection

every minute of the day for the next six months,

I'm getting paired with a training officer

so legendarily cantankerous,

she makes Tim Bradford look like Mr. Rogers?

- I'm getting stuck with a Texas lemon

who should have been fired for a multitude of reasons?

- Yes. - Yes.

- And you heard the mechanic say

that he would get it done today?

He said those actual words? - Yes.

- Even though last time, it took him over a week

to order the parts?

- Hey, I put the fear of God in him, okay?

It'll be done by 5:00. - Oh.

- Luna, my savior. Room 314 is imploding.

Of course it is.

I knew we were in trouble

as soon as the third estranged child showed up.

- I prescribed antibiotics for his pneumonia

and therapy for the rest of them.

- I'm sure they'll get right on that.

- Mm-hmm. -

I don't think we've met. - Right.

Oliver Ashton, this is my husband, Wade.

- Nice to meet you. - Good to meet you.

I don't think I've seen you around here before.

- Yeah, just started a couple months ago.

Spent the last five years working

for Doctors Without Borders. - Noble.

- It's nothing compared to what you do every day.

I'm doing assessments.

If 314 asks for me, tell them I got carried off by a twister.

Um, nice guy.

- He makes us all look like underachievers.

Mm.

- Thank you for the ride and for taking my car in,

which you should probably go do now,

or else he's gonna blame us for not getting it finished today.

Mm.

[The Teskey Brothers' "Carry You" plays on stereo]

- Listen, Nolan and I have thoughts on how

to train Miles going forward. - Keep 'em.

You both had your chance. - Nyla--

- What are you gonna tell me that I don't already know?

He's a cowboy because he's insecure?

That--that was clear to some of us on day one.

Now he is a hot mess

who's gonna hit the streets so scared to make a mistake

that he will panic-freeze the second the adrenaline hits.

So, no, I will chart my own course.

Thank you.

- - I think she's got it handled.

Morning. - What?

- I said good morning. Did you mean to get off here?

Um...

no, task force floor.

I'm sorry, I'm just a little distracted.

- Everything okay? -

Yeah. Yeah, uh, I don't know.

I found this in Luna's car,

and a pair of fancy men's sunglasses.

- That doesn't necessarily mean anything.

No, of course not.

- I'm--I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.

Yeah, yeah.

Just, um, you ever just, uh--

Never mind.

Sir, if I may.

There's two paths you can take here.

The first is...

talk to your wife.

Odds are there's a very simple explanation.

The second is...

you know, snoop.

I highly recommend the first.

Thank you.

- Just had to see me, or is there a problem?

- Your mom. -

Now what did she do?

- Well, have you not been following our group chat?

No, I muted that thing

the second you set it up for the three of us.

- Tim. - I know.

I have a problem with communication.

This is not funny.

Your mom has texted us 11 times in the past hour,

and you're being radio silent, so I have to answer.

- No, you really don't. - Uh--

- You don't. It's not your job to fill the silence.

In fact, the sooner you stop,

the sooner she'll abandon the thread

and stop sending blurry pictures

of relationship quizzes from ancient "Cosmo" magazines

she has lying around.

- So you are following the thread.

- I may have seen one or two. - Mm-hmm.

I'll text her, okay?

It's not your weight to carry.

She's my mom. - Okay. Thank you.

That's all I ask. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- Oh, howdy, Detective Harper.

Uh, I want to say how thrilled I am to be training with you.

- You want your nickname to be "Ass Kisser"?

- No, ma'am. - Then rethink your approach.

Yes, ma'am.

So what is your goal

for the next six months of training?

Learn from my mistakes.

Try not to get myself in situations I can't handle.

So play it safe?

- I'm one screwup away from getting bounced.

What am I supposed to do?

- Okay, so here's how today is gonna go.

You are the TO. I am the rookie.

I don't understand.

- You will teach me the job as if I were a day-one rookie

and take the lead on every call we get,

and at the end of shift,

I will decide whether you are worth my effort.

- Yes, ma'am-- or should I say "Boot"?

I'm just gonna stick with ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

This is nice.

You know, back together again, without the pressure

of being evaluated.

I can really let my freak flag fly.

No, no, not--not that I have one, like, a freak flag.

Like, no--no hidden freak agenda over here.

- Uh-huh. - Yeah.

- Don't worry. Your freak-ret's safe with me.

- Wait, what? Oh, I see.

No, no, but seriously, I have no freak-rets.

- 7-Adam-15, 2-11 at 47163 San Vicente.

- Copy that. Show us responding.

Hit it, super freak.

Police!

Police!

Police. - Is it over?

- Yeah, why don't you come out where we can see you?

- We were just in the middle of filming

when two guys with guns came in,

stole all of our equipment, and shot the place up.

- Okay, filming what? - Minion erotica.

- Zac, not the time. - Sorry.

It's called Dropout TV.

We do shows based around improv comedy.

I own the company. - Oh, there he goes.

He owns the place. He owns the place.

Anna--

- There's, like, a weird power dynamic,

but we're friends, but he's our boss.

- Jacob, you guys act like I'm obsessed with myself.

- Okay, can we just stay on track?

- Doubtful. Sorry, no. Sorry. We won't.

- Right, I think the path forward here

is to take witness statements from each of them...

separately. - Mm-hmm.

- And you can put your hands down.

- Oh, thank God. - Whew.

- All right, in your own words,