The Lone Gunmen

Um, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

On behalf of our 14,000 employees

I am pleased to say welcome to E-Com-Con

the most technologically advanced, yet socially conscious company

on the Fortune 500. Yeah, right!

I-In this state-of-the-art research and development center

we're taking the next step in computer processor evolution

and we're creating a new age of innovation and customer service.

How 'bout a new age of invading your customers' privacy?

Uh, sir, are you sure you're on the right tour?

Yeah, why don't you tell us about that Octium IV chip you're developing?

Well, the, um, Octium IV

is our latest high-speed processor.

It's capable of 6.8 gigaflops.

That's nearly seven billion calculations per second.

I mean, tell us the truth.

How the Octium is secretly designed to keep tabs on the users.

Patriot 1 to Patriot 2, we're in position.

It's got a tiny little modem embedded in each processor, see?

So they can upload your files onto the Internet

and your credit history and your tax bracket and your Social Security number.

All neatly packaged for these robber barons.

Sir, I don't know if this is the proper forum-- - And another thing!

Patriot 2.

Patriot 2, we're in position. Shut up already.

Uh... is there peanuts in this?

Oh, yeah.

Who's your daddy?

We have a man having a severe allergic reaction here. Over.

Hang on tight. - What?

Whoa! Byers!

I don't have winch control. Our software's been hijacked.

Take it easy. Help's on the way.

What the hell is this?

Whoa!

You!

Byers. Byers!

Hey.

You're making a big mistake. That was a hearing aid.

Huh? What'd you say?

Where's the chip?

Full body cavity search.

Honest to God, we don't have it.

What we won't do for the Constitution.

Yeah, like having a roll of tape shoved up our kazoos.

At least it feels like that.

We're not gonna let this injustice stand.

We've gotta stop these corporate goons from doing to the American people

wh-- what they did to us last night.

Yeah, right. - What's the matter, Byers?

We don't have the proof. Without proof, we're nothing more than conspiracy mongers.

Without proof, all we can do is cry wolf.

Don't take it personally, man. They strip-searched all of us.

Eleven years we've been putting out this paper. Think about it.

Have we made a difference? Is America a better place to live because of our efforts?

This story would have garnered national attention.

It would have forced E-Com-Con to halt the production of the Octium chip.

It would have protected the civil liberties of millions of Americans.

But without proof?

But, we could still speculate, can't we? We'll call it editorial commentary.

For whom?

Last week's issue had a circulation of 2,824.

We're preaching to the converted.

Readership doesn't matter, man. It's the impact on the black ops that counts.

They read it too. The guys at the N.S.A. and the C.I.A.--

they tremble every time we put out one of these babies.

Do you think the people at E-Com-Con are trembling?

They will if we get that chip back. - Like that's gonna happen.

E-Com-Con's already got the Justice Department searching for the dude that snaked it from us.

Only they're looking for a "he."

Are you sure that man with the beard was Yves Adele Harlow?

Trust me. No guy kisses like that.

I mean, uh--

I hear Harlow's a black hat, a real heavy lifter.

Industrial espionage, strictly for profit.

Then she's probably already sold the chip to the highest bidder--

the Malaysians or theJapanese.

That sucks! We stole it! What the hell you doing?

Our operation was piggy-backed.

There's only one way Harlow could know our plans.

You believe she breached our security.

Testing: one, two, three. You bitch!

That's twice today I've been violated! That's it, man!

Total war! Salt the earth!

Lone Gunman Newspaper Group. Byers speaking.

Yes, I'm his son.

Bertram R. Byers.

The "R" stood for Roosevelt...

which is a name fit for a true believer, if ever I heard one.

A true believer.

That was Bert in the 30-odd years

that I was lucky enough to call him a friend.

He never lost his faith in government

and its abiding power to do good, its muscular Christianity--

There's enough brass here to make a spittoon.

As a civilian employee in the air force

Bert jokingly described himself as a plodding bureaucrat.

But he never lost his love for aerospace, his chosen profession

his true love

which is why today, in accordance with his wishes

we commend his ashes to that bold frontier that he loved so well.

Godspeed, Bert.

Would you do the honors?

Five, four...

three, two...

one.

Ignition.

So you never met him?

Byers and his old man hadn't spoken since 1989.

The year we started publishing?

The year Byers threw away a government pension to hang out with low-life hippie scum.

At least, that's what his old man thought.

Frohike, 12:00. - 12:00 what?

One spying, chip-stealing little cross-dresser.

Ow! - Oh!

What are you doing?

You got... soup.

Next time leave the crack pipe at home.

Hey, buddy. Nice service.

Looks like your old man had a lot of friends in high places.

Maybe we can plant bugs on a couple of'em.

Or... maybe now is not the time.

I'm about ready to get out of here.

John. We met once years ago.

I'm Ray Helm. I worked with your father. - Oh, Mr. Helm.

Your eulogy was very nice. - Thank you.

I meant every word of it. I was hoping you and I could talk about him.

I realize you hadn't seen each other in some time.

I'm just not sure what there is to talk about.

We could talk about how he died.

According to the police, his car ran off the road.

Like I said, we could talk about that.

It happened here.

The police ruled it a single-car accident.

There were no witnesses to it, but based on the lack of skid marks

their explanation was your father fell asleep at the wheel

and ran off the road.

But you don't believe that.

You're not saying... my father killed himself?.

I'm saying he was murdered.

I don't know where Bert was headed. I don't know that it mattered.

Just so he was driving a lonely stretch of road...

a perfect place for an ambush.

What proof do you have of this? - Absolutely none.

Which is exactly the way these people would manage it.

The people your father and I worked for.

The government?

But why? Why my father?

He was a company man.

He was a good man. He had a conscience.

Sometimes that's a problem in our line of work. - Meaning what?

Last time I spoke to him, he was upset about something he'd found out.

He wouldn't tell me what. Hold up.

Somethin'-- Somethin's funky here.

You're telling us the government is behind this? - You're the government.

If you're anything like your father, I knew you'd want to know.

Hey, buddy, are you sure you want to do this?

That government guy said there wouldn't be any proof your dad was murdered.

If he was murdered

there'd have to be a reason for it.

Mr. Helm said maybe he knew something.

I want to see what's on his P.C.

Whoa! Son of a--

This carpet's wet. Like it's been cleaned.

Check it out.

Well, the good news is there's no annoying passwords to crack.

What's the bad news? - There's no nothing else either.

Only an operating system.

Someone cleaned house, erased everything and defragged this puppy.

Try a sector editor.

See if you can find any recently deleted files.

B-I-N-G-O.

Delete commands up the wazoo.

Wait. What about this one? - Looks like a D.O.D. file.

Scenario 12D.

Text file.

What the--

Hey, Byers, Langly! Come look at this!

Take a look at this.

That's blood, and a lot of it.

I thought your old man died in a car crash.

My father was dead long before the crash.

He was murdered here.

Byers, Bertram. Blue '92 Caprice.

Yeah, we got it. - I don't get it.

You're saying somebody popped your father in his living room...

then loaded him into his car and faked a car crash two miles away.

That's a hell of a trick. A dead man driving a car.

They managed it somehow.

There's gotta be evidence in the car that the fire didn't destroy.

You're Bertram Byers?

Uh, yeah.

Date of birth January 30, 1934?

Viagra.

It's over yonder.

That yonder?

Hey, stop! - Hold up!

Hey, wait! Shut it down! - Stop!

Shut it down! - Hang on!