How to Make It in America

* I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey *

* well, I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey *

* said I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *

* for someone to help me *

* and I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

* hey, s-t-a-r, that's what you are *

* 'cause you're big in japan, you're big in japan *

* s-t-a-r... *

* I got a phone call from across the hall *

* people knocking on doors, I fell asleep on the floor *

* I think I'll be fine, I feel totally '90s *

* as I'm lying on the ground in my smoking undies *

* keep my head down, look away from the flash... *

Both: Crisp, motherfucker!

* me, I don't mind *

* 'cause it's all for the fans *

* and then the next thing you know *

* I'm big in japan... *

Hello.

What was the nature of your trip?

Vacation.

- How you doin'? - Hello, sir.

Anything to declare?

No, just my undying love for new york.

sorry, excuse me.

Hey, how you doin'?

My dudes!

Good to be back up in this kind of place.

Yo, an official welcome home to mhomies

Even though it took you almost two weeks to call an old friend.

- It's all right. - Oh come on, man, we've been on the grind.

I even got cam silk screening.

It's true. I'm a designer now.

- All right. - I wouldn't say designer.

- I am. I killed it. - Domingo: Yo yo!

What's shaking, three amigans?

- Good, man. - I wod like meet my homegirl leigh.

She was complimenting me y swtshirt

And I thought that she should meet the brains behind the operation.

- How you doing? - Hi, guys.

I'm david kaplan, self-made millionaire, whatever.

Nice to meet you. Where can I get one of these hoodies?

Uh, j. F.B.K., atmos.

And if you want to see what's coming next, check out the lulu d. Store.

She's gonna have our new hoodies in the window tomorrow.

Why don't you give me your email? I'll send you one for free.

- Oh yeah? Well, that's really sweet of you. - Yeah.

- Guys: Aww! - Guys, please.

Well, too bad he's spoken for.

But what's up with my man david right here?

Domingo: What about sweet pea over there?

I'm spoken for as well.

- This hoodie's for my boyfriend, guys. - Aw boo!

Yeah!

Come on.

- Yeah hey! - That's what I'm talking about!

Hey, you know what? Maybe be easy on the flirting this time, all right?

- She already gave us the window. - You think I can turn it off?

I can't help myself around lulu.

- Hey. - Hey, guys.

Lulu d., looking radiant today.

- Thanks. Hi. - Hey.

So you ready for some hooded perfection?

Yeah, bring it on.

- I don't think she's ready. - I'm not really feeling the excitement.

I'm- I'm excited.

Wow.

Soft. Love the graphic.

- Thanks. - Wow.

So when exactly are you going to install the window display?

Tonight or tomorrow morning? 'cause we can help you with that.

- Yeah. - I'm really sorry, guys. I know I promised,

But I just got the new neanderthal stuff in

And then I had to put it in my window or they said I couldn't carry their line.

Don't hate me.

- Cam: Neanderthal? - You know, tim and ivan's line,

The new york neanderthals?

Okay.

Here.

Wait a minute- tim the dope-fiend photographer?

And bus-driver ivan who drove that m96 crosstown into the gristede's?

Yep, they're super hot right now.

They are?

Well, I mean, it's more about the guys than their clothes.

They have the story behind them - junkies turned fashion designers.

People buy into the bad-boy thing.

All I see are a bunch of dicks.

Don't tell me our jew-minican swagger is wearing off?

Not at all. You guys are sweet.

Whoa, ben is sweet; I'm scandalous.

- Okay, so we were saying- - yes?

- How many do you need? - Um...

Why don't we start with two?

Okay, so two dozen?

No, just two for now.

Not bad, huh?

eddie: You really did it,

Just like you told us u would.

- All: Yeah. - Jabar: Billboard looks incredible, boss.

Man in car: Rasta monsta!

Yeah!

You're officially big in the hood.

But not as big as debbie's booty.

- What was that? - Boss, I'm kidding.

I thought she was meeting you here to see it go up.

Yeah, so did I.

Are you- are you from senegal?

- 'cause I was just there. - Haiti.

Oh.

Fucking tim, man. He was a hack photographer.

Now he's a hack designer, but somehow everybody thinks he's brilliant.

Well, people eat that downtown dirtbag's shit up. It's a good story.

Ah, really? What's our story?

- Jew- - do not say "jew-minican," please.

Ben epstein- a nice boy, mother loves him.

My moms can't be our only customer, guys.

We gotta do something to get people talking about crisp.

Selling six t-shirts a month is not gonna cut it, you know?

What if we rock that pop-up shop we talked about?

Yes, okay, I like that.

Sell some hoodies, get the message out there.

Yeah, we'd have to make it crazy ill, though-

You know, get people talking about us.

One of you needs to get shot.

Okay, you can go with the classic-

Hookers and blow.

You know what? That actually could work.

Not the blow, but what if we got some girls

To do like a little fetish show like we saw in shinjuku?

Oh, yeah yeah yeah. Bring tokyo to the I.E.S. I likehat.

Yeah yeah. And then you know what'll make it crazy sick?

Is if jay-z was there.

No no no no no no.

My boy rich from temple israel

Is practically running roc nation right now.

- What? - I'm gonna go ahead and give him a call.

Sure, you get us jigga and you get us geishas

And I'll reach out to obama, see if the homie can make it.

Listen, the best luther song

Was * a thousand kisses from you... *

you're killing me right now.

As a matter of fact, you're killing luther right now with that.

What the-

Just wanted to return this to you.

You couldn't pay me enough to wear it ever again.

Debbie. Debbie, wait.

Mama, mama, where you going, baby?

Where you going in such a hurry?

- Away from you. - Why you so angry?

That piece-of-shit wall on stanton?

- You look good up there, baby. - Oh, do I?

- Yeah. - Can you even tell it's me?

You can barely see my face. And that is not my booty.

Look, jabar, he photoshopped it.

You know, they do that for all the billboards.

Even eva mendes gets the photoshop.

You told me that I was gonna be the face of rasta monsta.

And for some dumb reason, I decided to believe you.

Look look, I took a poll of all the pictures

And we all agreed that's the best one. Be proud.

Enjoy your pervert billboard,

'cause you're not getting near my booty ever again.

Debbie.

Debbie!

So you think this girl will do our fetish show?

Trust me.

* and you believe me, yeah, bitch, believe me *

* hey yo, it's me and spank rock *

* we always poppin' it hot *

* he gets the ladies in line, I got you ridin' my jock *

- * I keep it dirty, not like fergie... * - wow.

* ain't the black eyed peas, this shit ain't happy *

* I'm a trashy boastful bitch mc *

* my rhymes are painfully fresh *

* my pussy's tastin' the best... *

Absolutely not. That's disgusting.

Ben, I thought you were fucking around about the eel.

Okay okay, forget the eels.

Look, we just want something edgy and shocking

Like this - like this authentic fetish show we saw in shinjuku.

okay. That's kind of fun.

Maybe we can do something "about fetish,"

But still completely post-feminist.

Yes, about fetish,

If you still, you know, wear the outfits and, like,

Torture each other.

Gently- gently torture.

You want me to gently torture jin-suk?

Miss tomako,

Bear with us here.