Last Ride

- Yes, but it has to be in the light.

- I know, I'll move it back.

Put your hand away.

- Daddy, Daddy, the lamp is in the...

We were all there.

Help.

Anybody?

- They're dead because of you.

- Now look at us.

Don't touch that.

- Get up. Come on, don't have time for this shit already.

Okay.

Uh, this is a waste of time,

so I'll see you back in New York.

If they let your drunk ass back on the plane.

Hey, where you going?

Come back.

Devin, wait.

Hey, wait.

- Oh, fuck, ah! - Yo, bro!

We made it.

Now we just gotta make it to the top.

- I'm not going up there with you,

you obsessed asshole. - Hey.

Hey. Are you kidding me?

If you ever touch this again, I swear to God.

Who's the dude?

Me? I'm nobody.

He's my dealer.

- You don't know me and I don't know you.

Fuck this shit.

I'm not going up that stupid mountain with you.

You're coming with me.

It'll help us both.

- How the hell is this gonna help us, man?

Tell me here.

Why does it have to be up there?

- Hey, you wanna make a couple extra bucks?

Doing what?

Yeah, doing what?

- Ride with me in the cable car to the top of the mountain.

How much?

5,000 kroner.

Five thou--

You never offered me any money for this.

You don't have enough kroner.

Oh, I have enough.

I'll show you.

I'll show you kroner.

- So you really want to get up there?

That's why I'm here with him.

- But you'll go even without him?

- Damn right, I'll go without him.

Fine, he's all yours.

It ain't like you had all your life

to get your shit together, Dad.

Kaapo?

Kaapo.

I'll try tell you everything.

Bro, I really don't care.

This changed so much.

Why did it change?

- How would I know? I'm from Finland.

Okay, I'm gonna get you in here.

Take you up.

And whoever's up there will take care of you.

Hey, take it easy with him.

You coming in or not?

This is insane, Dad, fuck.

Hey, how long is it at the top, Kaapo?

- I'm not a fucking Norwegian tour guide.

I should know.

But, we never made it.

Wait, we who?

Dude, please stop.

- 'Close Encounters' is not my favorite movie.

Hi. - And there it is.

- Devin Robins. - Would you stop?

- Sorry, I don't speak Norwegian.

- What are you talking about? - Would you shut up?

Sorry.

- 'Close Encounters' is your favorite movie.

Mine is 'Dawn of the Dead' and yours is 'Mad Max.'

That's the order of things, right?

- It's not, it's not my-- - That's our lot in life.

It's not my favorite movie.

Well, what is it then?

- Well? - 'The Wizard of Oz.'

- What? What are you a five old girl?

- Tell me, were those scary flying monkeys real?

- You don't have to like it. I like it.

- Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have told us that.

What a world, what a world.

Look at that.

- Whoa, oh that, looks safe.

- Look at that. - Alright, come on.

Let's do this before our parents start wondering where we are.

- Syd, how much do you think they know about the fire?

Who?

Our parents, dumbass.

- How much sunlight do you think we got?

Can we make it up there and back in time?

- Every time we bring up the fire, you change the subject.

Doesn't matter. Just drop it.

Whatever, alright?

- Whatever is right. I'm not a fucking shrink.

- Is it okay if we talk about something else?

Remember when we went to Space Mountain?

- Yeah, but this is gonna be real.

- Alright, come on. Let's just do this already.

- Hey, do you speak English?

You know the language.

You get English.

It depends.

You do?

He speaks English.

Could you take us up to the top of the mountain, please?

- Cafe up there burned down a few years ago,

so go find a movie on TV or something.

You missed all the cute waitresses and pretty tourists,

but I'm married now, so who gives a shit.

I give a shit.

They have big tits.

Big juicy tits. - Oh my God, oh.

- For you, they had hot chocolate and warm snacks.

- Warm snatch. You hear that, Devin?

- He didn't say that. He said snacks.

- Have you ever banged a hot tourist

in the cable ground? - Oh my God.

- You don't have to answer that, mister.

You do.

Every day.

- Yeah, you Norwegians got that Viking blood in you.

They let their sons freeze,

instead of crawling into their mommy's beds.

- I don't crawl into my mommy's bed.

- He does, he does. - Alright, stop.

We're wasting time.

Can you take us up there?

- Shouldn't you be in school?

Are you boys playing hooky?

Me? I don't pay hookers.

But if you're asking why we ain't in school,

ask fire starter here.

- Why don't you shut up? - No.

Where are your parents?

- My mom and his dad are at the chateau.

Listen to this guy. Chateau.

They're at the sucky lodge, boozing it up.

Oh fuck. That's gnarly. - Whoa.

How'd you do that?

Benefits of coal mining.

Come back tomorrow, okay?

What?

- My wife's cooking my favorite tonight,

so, homemade meatballs and the best sauce you've ever tasted.

- Are you kidding me? Dude, take us up there.

I'm sorry, boys.

Jamie, Jamie Raft.

Øyvind Bjerck.

Øyvind Jerk, I love it.

- Bjerck. - Jerk.

Syd, Syd Baker.

- Hi, Syd. - Hi.

- Dude, what are you? - What the?

- Charlie Chan. - What the fuck?

What did I just watch?

- Nice to see you, Øyvind, Devin Robins.

Fantastic, okay.

- Are you kidding me? - Enjoy.

- We're never gonna be in Norway again.

Never.

- If you saw my wife, you would understand.

- Come on, guys, we should go anyway.

- Oh God, come on. - Such bullshit.

- Okay, let me take a picture of you

and you can bullshit your friends

you went to the top, okay?

Come on, stand in front of the gondola.

- I don't bullshit though, that's not--

- Fuck sakes. - Oh, okay.

So with this camera. Don't be funny.

- Just stand in front of gondola.

Okay, what?

- The what- - It's a cable,

it's a cable car.

Gondola.

- Gondwallah. - Okay, smile.

You're at the top, it's been fantastic.

One, two, three, cheese.

- Ah, ah. - Oh.

- What are you doing? - You're heavy.

- The worst smile I've ever seen.

- You're fucking heavy. - We're not happy.

- Here you are. - You could have just taken

us up. It'd be way better.

I wish I could.

- This country fucking sucks, man.

I tell you, I don't know

how The Clash managed to play in Norway.