The Ballad of Jack and Rose

I see a rabbit.

Where?

Up there.

It's got big droopy ears.

It's a shoe.

- It's more of a boot, a lace-up boot. - It's a boot, like your boot.

Now what is it?

They're all moving into these houses, Rosie.

A whole nation, a whole fucking world of plastic houses.

It's like a rash. It's eating up this island like a case of bad acne.

Thirty years, there won't be anything left that isn't suburbia...

or the ghettos.

Because they all want to live in places...

with people exactly like themselves.

They have their own police forces, some of them...

to keep their greedy little children safe.

And they have the vanity to call this place a community.

Look at this crap.

That's not a house, it's a thing to keep the TV dry.

I wish we had a TV.

No, you don't.

I swear, I solemnly believe...

that humanity is now officially descending the ladder of evolution.

In 1,000 years human beings will be the size of gerbils.

And they'll have one thought a year, in December...

and think about what they want for Christmas.

Decline and rot, my angel, that's the way of the world.

Except for you.

You are exempt.

Remember that.

Jack Slavin for Marty Rance.

Hi, Marty. Me again.

That's government land that you're eating into.

Fifty yards of nature preserve that is a wetland, as I'm sure you know.

You can call the cops if you want to. I'll call them back myself.

I'll look forward to seeing the outcome.

We needed a doorstop.

What are you thinking about?

I think I want to plant the bellflowers in front of the house today.

At least leave me a place to walk.

You're getting freckles.

I always had those.

Rosie, Rosie.

That's a sweet little bridge, but I wouldn't want to drive across it.

Well, seeing as we never go anywhere...

You still don't understand weight-stress ratios.

I understand them enough.

- Enough for what? - For everyday needs.

The Latin name for buttercup will only get you so far.

Let me write that again.

One more time...

with feeling.

What is the Latin name for buttercup?

Ranunculus bulbosus.

What?

I'm glad I got to know you for such a long time.

Don't say stuff like that.

- You have to face up to it. - Shut up. Okay?

Do you know, I think we should get somebody in to help.

Who? A maid?

Don't go off, Rosie.

Go away.

What is it?

You're going to leave me soon.

You're the one that's going to leave soon.

You're getting too big for me.

Look at the size of that hand.

No. You're going to die.

That's just the way it is.

I mean, this thing may be pumping away for some while to come.

When you die, I'm gonna die.

- What on earth are you talking about? - I am.

What are you going to die of?

When you go, I'm going.

If you die, there's no point to my life.

Tough luck.

Don't you ever say that again. Do you hear me?

You'll never say that again.

Tell me a story.

Come on.

Once...

there was a girl.

She lived in a little, tiny house.

And one day...

an ox came by.

And the girl was so polite, she said:

"Ox, would you care to join me for tea?"

The ox, he wasn't used to being spoken to very much.

He was flattered and said, "Thank you, yes. "

And he proceeded to put his nose through the door.

His nose had a big ring in it.

And the girl pulled as hard as she could on the ring...

to try to get the ox through the door.

And the ox pushed and pushed, and the girl pulled and pulled.

Cracks started to appear around the walls.

And the ox gave one great, almighty push...

and the whole house collapsed around them.

So she climbed up on the ox's back and they rode away together.

In the course of time they were married.

Let me look at you.

I'm never gonna leave you, you know.

I have to go to town tonight, Rosie. I have some stuff I've got to do there.

I might not be back until the morning.

- You'll be all right? - Yeah.

- I'll see you later, Rosie. - Okay.

- Is she here? - She's downstairs.

You got thinner.

Hi, by the way.

I was thinking maybe you'd come live with me.

- What? - You heard.

You've never even invited me out there.

- You like me that much, huh? - Yup.

What about my kids?

Well, that goes without saying.

What about Rose?

- Have you thought this through? - Through?

I've thought about it, but I'm not clairvoyant.

You know what I mean, Jack.

Come live with me.

Quit your job. Quit your jobs.

I can make life easier for you.

A chance to prove that I'm in earnest.

Call that an early retirement package.

It's not coming out right, is it?

I'm sorry.

Look, come live with me. Give it a try.

I'll take care of you, or you take care of me. Whatever.

My kid needs a woman around the place and so do I.

I need you.

How's that?

What are you thinking?

I'm wondering if you're crazy or not.

That's a waste of time, honey.

My poor tree house.

We can rebuild it. That's not a problem. Do you really use it anymore?

It's my house.

- Rose. - Yeah?

There's some people coming that I invited. Guests.

Guests?

People, just come to stay for a while.

It's an experiment.

Okay?

New chapter.

Welcome, strangers.

I see you...

A couple of things.

I'm so glad to finally meet you, Rose.

- I'm Jack. - I'm Thaddius.

Thaddius, great. You must be Rodney.

- Rose, Jack, these are my boys. Thaddius... - Welcome. Yeah, we just...

...that's Rodney. This is Rose.

Oh, I'm Kathleen.

Wow. Does anybody else live out here?

It used to be a commune.

There was 60 people living here, give or take, at one time.

Engineers, farmers, carpenters, a couple of scientists.

We were trying to...

It wasn't what you see in the movies. We weren't all painting ourselves orange...

and shaking tambourines, or whatever else they got up to then.

We were trying to rebuild society on a small scale.

Trying to figure out a way people could live without destroying the planet.

There's virtually no waste, no private property, and...

I'll take that. It was an experiment.

It looks like it didn't go too well.

We learned some stuff.

Watch it.

This is it.

Just put all your stuff down there for the moment.

We'll bring the rest in later on.

Where do you really live?

In my aunt's basement.

How long are you gonna stay here?

Not very long, personally.

But I have a feeling that my mother will be embedded here for quite some time.

Do you get a lot of postcards?

My mother used to send them.

She left when I was 5.

She might be coming back.

Oh, dear.

Rose, would you like to help me set the table?

I was going to make some cheese sandwiches.

No.

That's cooked food for the chickens...

and that's raw food for the compost.

In the big one: Metal and plastic, paper. You'll get the hang of it.

Yeah, okay.

Any questions about the house, ask Rose.

One of you can sleep in here for the time being...

and the other one is on the couch...

until we get one of the outbuildings fixed up.

It's fine.

Is that all right with you?

It's so quiet in here, it's like the inside of a can.

Hey, where's the TV?

No TV.

Are you working at the moment, Rodney?

I've been studying to be a women's hairdresser.

What brought you to that?

I always wanted to be a barber...

but men don't get enough pleasure out of their hair.