Full House

Okay, everything is just perfect. Oh, this is great.

They're coming, they're coming!

Come on, everybody, come on. Okay, is everybody ready?

‐ Ready! ‐ Shh.

I'm sorry.

‐ Okay, let's go. ‐ Alright, get ready.

Surprise!

Thank you! Ha ha ha.

Why are they doing this?

‐ I don't know. ‐ Boys, come with me.

Today is the anniversary of the day we all became a family.

As you know, you guys moved in here a couple years ago

to help me out for a couple months.

Now of course, you can never leave.

Well, well, let me tell you guys something.

We're happy to be here. We love you very much.

‐ We can never leave? ‐ That's right.

And to celebrate, I have planned seven days and seven nights

of non‐stop family fun.

‐ Alright. ‐ Sounds good.

In Hawaii.

‐ Yay! ‐ Hawaii!

Hawaii? I love their punch.

I got the station to run reruns of "Wake Up, San Francisco."

Well, Becky, you'll be able to go with us. Come with us then.

Oh yeah, Becky, you and I would have so much fun.

Oh, no, it sounds like a family vacation.

‐ I got your ticket right here. ‐ Aah! Oh, Danny.

‐ Thank you. ‐ You're welcome.

Oh, Jess, you and me in Hawaii.

I know. This is gonna be great.

We'll make a pilgrimage to every single spot

where Elvis shot "Blue Hawaii" in '61

and "Paradise, Hawaiian Style" in '65.

Oh, Becky, what could be more romantic?

I'll start making a list.

Michelle, isn't this exciting? We're going to Hawaii.

Good. Cut the cake.

‐ 'Yes, we're here.' ‐ Say aloha.

‐ Wooh! ‐ Come on, say cheese.

‐ Alright. ‐ Take a picture. Here we go.

‐ Hey, guys. ‐ Yes, yes, click, click, click.

Say cheese. Let's go. Say cheese.

Aloha.

‐ Ah! ‐ Careful.

Uh, nice day.

Look, look, Hawaii has a swimming pool

and an ocean, and a soda machine.

No wonder they call it paradise.

Aloha, little girl.

Aloha, lady.

I see your belly button.

Joey. Joey.

Did you see that girl? First she smiled at me.

And then she winked at me, and then she..

...turned into someone else. I hate when that happens.

Okay, I have plans for you guys.

‐ Catch you later. ‐ See you later.

Yo, calling all Tanners. Where's everybody goin'?

‐ Surfing. ‐ Swimming.

I gotta find that hula girl.

We're gonna take the same drive that Elvis took

in "Blue Hawaii."

We are?

Everybody, just calm down.

You are all gonna get to do everything you want to.

But, and this is the beauty part

we are all gonna do everything together.

Why?

That's a good start.

We came here to celebrate our two‐year anniversary

as one big, happy family, so I have carefully scheduled

every minute of everyday with everyone's activities.

It's all right here on my clipboard of fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, let the vacation begin.

Alright, we only have 15 minutes to check in. Let's go.

You sure nobody else wants to play golf?

No.

'Okay, Joey had his turn for fun.'

'Now I've scheduled us to study'

'the history and culture of Hawaii.'

'Where are you taking us? The Don Ho Museum?'

Look, a little hula munchkin.

No, it's a Menehune.

According to the ancient legend, they were the first people

to inhabit the Hawaiian islands.

The Menehunes have magical powers

and they help people when they're in trouble.

But only if you really believe in them.

I do believe. I do believe.

I wanna meet a Menehune.

Steph, Menehunes are make‐believe.

‐ Like Mickey Mouse. ‐ Oh yeah?

Then how come at Disneyland, we shook hands with Mickey?

Did you shake hands with a make‐believe mouse?

No. Well, yeah. I don't know.

I think you do know.

Poor kid, can't tell the difference

between real and make‐believe.

Alright, everybody, we have an hour and 20 minutes

to meet and greet over 57 varieties of marine life.

‐ Alright. ‐ Yeah!

Becky, get a picture!

Tell him to swim more to his left.

It's a killer whale. You tell him.

Nice fishie.

Big fishie.

Wait a minute!

Okay, yeah, hold on, honey.

'Hang on, girls, those things don't come with seatbelts.'

'It's totally rad.'

'It's all on tape.'

Okay, time's up. Everybody, out of the pool.

Not you guys!

Right, this might be it. Hang on a second.

This is it, folks.

This is the exact tree Elvis floated by singing

"Drums Of The Island" in his 1965 Technicolor classic

"Paradise, Hawaiian Style." Please, just take a moment.

And let it all soak in.

Well, I'm soaked. Let's go.

Becky, please. Show a little respect.

This is a historical Elvis landmark.

Now, take some pictures.

'Thank you. You're a beautiful family.'

Alright, get one with the real, kinda whole lip thing.

Right here, baby.

He nuts.

Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

My girl!

She's gone!

And I'm alone.

And I'm wet.

'The clipboard of fun says today, I get to be the skipper.'

'Skipper, we've been out here for hours.'

'Danny, do you even have a clue where we are?'

Ahoy, mateys. Gather round ye skipper.

Aye aye, skipper.

According to my map, we should be arriving any minute

at the beautiful island of Pua

for a picnic on the beach, and a Polynesian show.

‐ Which island? ‐ This island.

‐ Hey, where did the island go? ‐ It's on your finger, dad.

Ahoy, mateys, your skipper's been sailing all morning

to a potato chip crumb.

‐ Oh! ‐ Great.

‐ Dad, are we lost? ‐ Of course not.

We're exactly, uh, two hours and 46 minutes due..

...this way of our hotel.

Look, an island.

Alright, you see. I told you.

Skipper, exactly where is that island on the map?

Well, it's right..

Uh, it's, uh, one of those.

What a beautiful beach. Anybody find anything?

Nothing up the beach.

There's nothing down the beach.

I haven't seen one sign of intelligent life, skipper.

Whoa‐ho! Island crankiness. Look, nobody panic.

Let's just go back to where your skipper tied up the boat.

I'll simply radio the coast guard and tell him our location

and they'll guide us to Pua. Okay? Now follow me.

‐ Aye aye, skipper. ‐ Michelle, don't encourage him.

Okay, guys, we're gonna have our picnic on the boat.

Now, if the trade winds are favorable

we can still make the Polynesian show.

Of course, if we're late, this could spell disaster

for the clipboard of fun.

‐ Bye‐bye, boat. ‐ How cute.

Michelle's waving bye‐bye to... our boat!

Oh, D. J., don't be silly, I tied up our boat right..

...there! It is our boat.

‐ Come back! ‐ Hurry, dad.

Jesse, you'll never catch that boat!

I don't wanna catch the boat. I wanna catch Danny.

Come back here.

'Jesse, leave me alone.'

Come over here, skipper.

‐ Not until you calm down. ‐ Fine. Alright. Fine.

I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm not gonna hurt you.

‐ I just wanna talk to you. ‐ That's better.

First thing I'd like to say is I hate this clipboard of fun.

How can a person lose a boat?

It's not my fault.

The rope must have slipped off the rope thingy.

The rope thingy, skipper?