The Thing

I remembered a joke.

It's funny.

Okay.

Seorg and his wife were having sex one night,

when their young son suddenly enters the room.

Hang on a sec. Are we going in the right direction?

Olav!

What are we looking for?

Just keep going.

A little bit more or else we will be flagged on the site.

Okay. Continue the joke.

The boy gets scared and leaves running from the room, crying.

The mother says, "Honey! Now, what should we do? "

You know women...

The father says: "Let me handle this".

Then he leaves and goes to the child's bedroom

to say he was joking.

He opens the door and sees the small bastard

is lying on top of his grandmother, having sex with her!

Very animated too, rises and falls, up and down.

Then he looks for the father and says:

What's wrong, Dad?

You play with mine so I play with her, right?

Stop!

Is it here?

It's right here.

Don't move!

Turn on the light.

Oh, my God!

Kate!

- Shit. - Sorry, Kate.

These fellas said that you've been expecting them?

- Of course, thanks, Hanks. - Thanks.

Hey, uh... you forgot, didn't you?

No, no, I just...

Yeah.

He just wanted to... Actually, this is him.

I'm Dr. Sander Halvorson.

Kate Lloyd.

Yes. Do you know who I am?

I do.

Adam told me a little bit about you as well.

He said you specialized in vertebrate paleontology.

Primarily, yes.

And obviously you extracted specimens from pack ice.

I've worked on several cold weather digs.

Good.

An old friend of mine, a colleague of Oslo,

runs a geological research station in Antarctica.

48 hours ago, his team found something

quite remarkable.

Really?

What'd they find?

We're flying down there tommorow evening to examine the site.

And I need a paleontologist.

Doctor, I'm sure you can understand that

I need to know a little bit about what it is I'm being asked to dig up?

There is a structure.

A structure?

- Yes. - In Antarctica?

And a specimen.

That's all I can tell you.

And I guess I don't have any time to think about this.

No, I'm sorry. I need your answer right now.

Well...

I'm in.

Great.

Adam will get you the details of our departure.

- Right, I'll see you in the car. - Yes, of course. Thank you.

Adam.

What the hell is it?

You now officially know as much as I do.

But I'll tell you one thing, I worked for that guy for three years

and I've never seen him this excited.

She US?

Look at this guy.

I mean, how is that even humanly possible?

I was hoping maybe you could help me with something?

I can't seem to get ahold of a newspaper three weeks old

and I'm a man in desperate need for certain information.

Carter, don't do this to yourself, man.

And what information would that be?

I want to know how the Cavaliers are going.

I don't follow football.

It's a basketball team.

They play basketball.

Barely. They're the Cavaliers, man.

- Sorry, I couldn't help you. - Nah, that's all right.

Listen, just so you guys know, whatever y'all are doing,

you might wanna wrap it up in a couple of days.

Yeah, why's that?

There's a storm moving in. A nasty one.

Good morning, Griggs. Yeah, he's right.

And the last place where you want to be

is cooped up with a dozen Norwegian guys.

Trust me.

Base in sight of my 1 o'clock.

This is H3 Sea King inbound to Thule. Do you copy?

Hello, H3 Sea King. Please, approach from the west.

Landing pad is cleared

Bravo, coming back.

Good to go, Griggs.

- Dr. Halvorson? - Yes?

- Welcome to Thule. - Thank you.

Edvard asked you to go to the site, right now.

Lars is going to drive you.

- Hi. - Hi. Welcome.

- Please go in the Spryte. - Thanks.

Hello, sir.

Watch your step.

Brighten.

Edvard!

- You got it. - Sure, I did.

Yeah, this is Kate Lloyd.

- Columbia paleontology. - Welcome.

Adam Finch, my research assistant.

- Welcome. - Hi.

This is Edvard, my good friend.

This is some of my team. Karl and Juliette. Both geologists.

- Hi. - Welcome.

Okay.

Let me show you why you flew 10,000 miles.

Holy shit!

We estimated this has been here approximately 100,000 years.

We picked up a signal transmitting.

Some kind of distress call, perhaps.

Incredible.

We think the signal was triggered

when the survivor exited the craft.

Survivor?

My God.

How long will it take to get it out, do you know, Kate?

Assuming you've the right equipment, I'd say...

maybe half a day.

Good.

The ice, should I ask you how fragile is it?

It's not in a fracture zone.

So there's very little risk of fissuring.

And the ice is quite dense.

So we think we can get it out in one piece.

Good.

I mean, rough estimates about 6 by 12 feet, 3 and a half feet high.

- Probably some place right around... - That's great...

Make sure that everyone stays off the radio.

I do not want any information out.

And the crane... do we have something appropriate for this?

Yes, it's already there. It's all set up.

I'm Peder, by the way.

- Peder. - Nice to meet you.

So, you've gotten it all taken care of. I don't think you really need me.

What about him? He's secretly disinterested or...?

Oh, that's Lars.

He does not understand English, but he works like a bear.

And, as you can see from the scans,

the ship carved a 200 meter tunnel into the ice.

So, let me get this right. You crashed into a glacier...

And then without enough information

you leave the cozy confines of your ship?

Maybe he was hurt and wanted to find someplace warm.

Well, I guess it didn't find it.

The first night is hard.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up. - No, no, it's fine.

I'll never look at them the same again.

What do you mean for transport weight?

To cut it down to a portable weight, we have to take it from here to here.

Start with 4 inches.

I never believed in this shit.

I always did.

- We're all set? - Nearly there.

Good.

Good.

But before we do, I'm going to take a tissue sample.

Do you really think that's a good idea?

Yes, I do.

I mean the conditions are so unpredictable

and we don't have the proper equipment.

Sterilization is an issue.

Edvard, what do you have in the way of a small diameter drill?

Up to 30mm.

Very good.

I think somewhere around here.

Kate. Just a second.

In the future, don't contradict me in front of those people again.

- I just thought... - You're not here to think.

You're here to get that thing safe out of the ice.

I hope we understand each other.

So, have you ever tasted this before?

- No, I haven't. - It tastes very bad.

Gentlemen. Ladies.

After a short but thorough investigation

of our visitor,

I can say, unequivocally,

that I've never seen anything on any cellular level,

like what we have in that other room.

Now, the impact of this find...

will be felt for thousands of years.

From this point on,

the world as we know it has forever been altered.

You, my friends, will all be immortalized,

as the people who made this discovery.