Animal Control

RSVP's to the Patel/Shred Escrow Closing Party keep rollin' in.

Oh, people are excited to celebrate

your foolish financial decisions.

Well, are you coming?

'Cause we'd love to see you there.

You know, I'm torn between not going

and making up a lame excuse for not going.

You gotta come!

How's it gonna look if my own partner doesn't show up?

Like I don't wanna plummet

through loose floor boards to my death.

Huh.

Huh?

We gotta pull this guy over, right?

This is why we need a siren.

Not a stupid fluorescent car decal.

No one's stopping for a decal!

-It's true. -

Pull over!

Pull over!

Hey. Paws where I can see 'em.

At risk of wildly offending your wife,

why is the dog driving your car?

It's ok, I have a license.

To commit the most complicated suicide of all time?

It's a driverless car.

Balthazar just likes the front seat.

Of course. Then he can control the stereo.

Here you go.

There is literally nothing we can do,

so have a nice day.

Huh. The future really sneaks up on you, huh?

Mmhmm.

Hey, Terry.

That would go a lot faster if you used a pitchfork.

This jerk did something with my car keys.

I've been off for an hour.

Is there a guy bringing in a Komodo dragon?

I only got his street name. Perbindish.

I ran it through Google Translate.

It's Albanian for “monster”.

Why would they call him Monster, Frank?

Out of all the names.

I know you're scared,

but there are a lot of animals in jeopardy.

So, if I can talk to Monster

he can tell me where he got his dragon.

And by the way, never trust Google Translate.

He's coming in later.

I'll text you.

I knew there was a hero

underneath that straw and flop sweat.

Oh, got your car keys.

I think he chucked them out the window.

You son of a bitch.

Everyone, reminder!

Big shindig tonight

'cause we've officially closed escrow on the house.

- -That's right.

The timing's perfect because the fumigators are coming tomorrow.

So we're going off tonight!

Yeah, we are!

And hey, just a quick heads up,

there's no running water at the house

so if you need to use the bathroom

you'll have to go to the Happy Burger down the street

and you will need to make a purchase.

So just, you know, buddy system, go in pairs.

Or maybe just, you know, hold it.

Also, we need ice. See you tonight!

Bring your own ice!

- Real ice shortage. - See you tonight!

Hey, you know the odds of passing your citizenship test

go up if you actually open up the old study guide.

Yeah, but I'm gonna find a loop hole

to get me out of all the study.

Short cuts and laziness. Spoken like a true American.

I was thinking about getting some cheeses.

What's that swishing noise?

It's ride-along day, people!

What? It's so fun when I ride with you guys, right?

So uh, who are you thinking about going with?

Not sure whether this factors into your decision

but um, Patel had Mexican for dinner.

Also, I had Chinese for breakfast

so it's like a real clash of cultures down there.

Come on.

Hey, I made a playlist, and it is good.

Please, I'm begging you. Just tell us.

Ok, um... drumroll.

Frank and Shred.

Oh, come on!

Shred, come on. We gotta move your booster seat.

It'll be great. I'll see you out there.

Hey, I'm not that bad in the truck, am I?

You're a bit of a stickler.

What? I hate that word.

I mean, the whole point of a ride-along

is to make sure you're following protocol.

It's a quarterly mandate.

Yeah, it's just sometimes you gotta let the small stuff slide.

Ooff. That small stuff becomes big stuff.

Yeah.

-I heard that. I heard that. -Yeah, yeah.

And I hear you.

I will make an effort to be more chill.

Ok.

The last thing I need is Emily in the truck today.

Terry's got a Komodo dragon coming in.

Oh, did you tell Terry about the party?

Terry, my criminal informant?

Uh-huh.

Somehow your party did not come up.

Alright, well, tell him. You know?

The more, the merrier.

And bring ice, because I still think we're gonna be low.

Are you ok with Emily in the truck today?

I mean, you do know

that she's probably gonna smell like Rick's cologne.

I'll be fine.

We're actually in a really good place.

We're just friends and that's ok.

And I'm just dating myself right now,

and I like my choice in men.

Wow, you are really beginning to fray at the edges, my friend.

Hey, guys.

Sorry, I had to get a Band-Aid for my neck

'cause I think the collar nicked me

when I was doing all that swishing.

Is it cool if I ride up front?

-Do we have a choice? -No.

I'll sit in the middle, you don't have to move.

Alright.

Well, go right ahead.

Just hop in.

Ok.

Seat belts.

Ok, check this out.

If I can't take the test

there are other ways I can get citizenship.

Yes, that's what we need. We need another way.

I could be an interpreter.

Nope, not gonna work. Not with that accent.

I can't even understand what you're saying half the time.

No way!

See? Right there I heard Norway, like the country.

I mean, that could cause a diplomatic emergency.

Truck 8, please respond.

Report of a loose miniature horse at Everson Stadium.

Oh my God.

What?

A tiny horse?

That's the mascot for the Everson Small Stallions!

Ok.

The double A team.

And?

-Minor league. -Minor league of...

-Baseball. -Baseball.

Big fan of baseball.

Truck 8 respond? I can call someone else if you want.

Yeah, yeah! Dibs, dibs, dibs!

Truck 8 has dibs.

Ooh, no blinker. Ah.

But that is totally fine,

I can just let you off with a warning.

Ugh, I'm so sorry, you guys.

I cannot get this playlist to load.

Awe. Should we just call it and you can come out another day?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is my leg just rubbing up against you?

That must be so annoying.

-I hadn't even noticed. -

Oh, it's Rick.

Um, you know, I really shouldn't take personal calls

during work hours, but whatever.

It's fine. I'm chill.

Hey, sweetie. What's up?

You did?

What? Which pocket? Oh my gosh, ok.

I'm looking right now. Ok, did you write me a note?

That is so sweet. I'm gonna read this later.

Love you too. Ok.

Rick says hi.

Yeah. Awesome. Uh, I need to get out.

What?

Yeah, I've got a migraine coming on.

I can feel it so can you just pull over, Frank?

Wait, you've got a headache

before listening to Emily's playlist?

Yeah. Frank, could you pull over?

Do you have a fever or something?

No, it's just a migraine.

I gotta get some fresh air. You guys go ahead.

We can't just leave you here.

We're like five blocks from the office.

Frank, tell her. This happens all the time.

It happens all the time. He's a sick boy.

Yep. Sick. Yep.

I've always dreamed of being on this field.

You know, in the second grade my class took a field trip here?