Five Easy Pieces

I'm gonna play it again.

You play that thing one more time, and I'm gonna melt it down into hair spray.

- Well, let me play the other side then. - No, Rayette. It's not a question of sides.

It's a question of musical integrity.

Hold it. Hold it.

- Oh-ho, Bobby! - What? What?

- You quit that now. - What? What?

- You said you're gonna help me pick a song. - I did?

I'm gonna cut off your damn water, Bobby, I swear.

Selfish.

You can play on the piano, and your whole damn family...

can play on some type of musical instrument.

And all I'm askin' is for you to help me improve my musical talent.

And you'd think you would.

Dipesto, why don't you take that sign off your tit...

and why don't you and me go out and have us a real good time?

Where are we goin'?

I don't know. But I'll holler up to Elton and Stoney.

Bobby, now, listen a minute.

You know, I'll go out with you...

or... I'll stay in with you...

or I'll do anything that you like for me to do...

if you will tell me that you love me.

You can sing the song.

You are never satisfied.

That's right.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

All right. Here it is.

They were all set up right for ya.

Get right in there, Dipesto.

- That's all you gotta do. Just relax, honey. - Come on, Rayette!

- Keep that left foot — The right — left foot forward. - Bear down. Bear down.

Not too much of a match, is it, Elton?

You better leap out with your right foot.

- In the gutter. Isn't that wonderful? - The ball's too heavy for me, honey.

The pins, you know. I can't see them. I can't make 'em out.

Just squint. I squint.

Well, there they are right down there. They're at the end of all these little boards.

You notice 'em leadin' down. Just spot and follow through.

- But there are so many of 'em. - What's that for?

- That's for luck. - Oh, you're crazy.

- Go on out there and show Ray how to do it. - You slobbered on me.

It ain't the first time.

Watch this.

There she is. She's doing a little variation on the Apache shift.

- I taught her that. -

- Are you mad at me? - No, I'm not mad at you, honey. It'll be all right.

- We're not excited. - Look at me and tell me you're not mad at me.

I'm not mad at you.

- - Whoo!

- Listen. I'm gonna show you how it gets done. - Go on. Beat it.

- Don't talk about it — do it. - Isn't he pretty?

Good one!

Very good.

- -

Show me a little somethin' now. Give me spirit. Give me something.

That stupid thing just goes all cocky-wobbly, honey.

- If you'd just do what the hell I tell ya. - I did! Didn't I, El?

You got another ball coming.

- Come on, Rayette. - Just relax, Ray. That's all.

- Attaboy, Ray! -

That was real good, wasn't it?

I finally did it.

Great. You throw the big Z's for 19 frames...

and then you throw a strike on the last ball of a losin' game.

Wonderful. Just wonderful. Wasn't that wonderful, ladies?

- Are you talking to us? - Wonderful.

I guess I'll go wait in the car.

Why don't you go wait in the car, Rayette?

I will. I'll wait there right now.

One minute, honey, and I'll go with ya.

Me and Stoney got to get on home, relieve the sitter.

Why don't you and Ray just come on by the place?

All right. Uh, why don't you go on?

Here. I'll, uh — I'll take care of the beers.

- And would you walk Rayette along with ya? - Sure.

- Thanks, El. -

- Oh. Uh, what do we owe you? - Four dollars, sir.

Okay.

- - Excuse me.

- Here's a five. Thanks very much. - Thank you.

We've been wanting to ask you. You're on the TV, aren't ya?

Am I? On the TV?

She says you're the guy that sells all the cars on... TV.

Well, I might have sold a few cars.

I told ya! My name's Shirley, but they call me Betty.

And her name's Twinky.

- Twinky? - Yeah, 'cause she's so twinky!

Boy, oh, boy.

Well, Betty and Twinky, it, uh, sure is nice talking to you girls.

I wish that I had some more time.

- That's a wig you wear, isn't it? - Me?

Yeah. I told her it was you, but that you're wearing a wig...

'cause on TV you're mostly all, uh, bald up there.

Yeah, your little friend's real — real sharp.

Well, I don't, uh —

I don't wear the wig on TV...

because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people...

you've got to be sincere.

I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around.

Stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?

- Oh, definitely. - Yeah, but I can see a little bitty of the net up there.

That's what give it away.

A little net.

Yeah, well, I — I wish I had more time to talk to you girls...

but, uh, I have to —

I'll, uh —

Come on, Ray. We're gonna go over to Elton's.

I'm not.

You're just gonna sit here?

Yes.

Okay. I hope no one hits on you.

I hope they do.

Okay. See you later.

No one would want to hit on you. You look too pathetic.

Come on, Dipesto. We can still have a good time.

You're the pathetic one, not me.

I'm goin' over to Elton's.

I am not a piece of crap.

I'm sorry.

You treat me like I was.

Go slip around...

right before my face.

And in front of Elton and Stoney that way.

What do you imagine they think of somebody you treat like that?

Now, now, Ray.

Now, sweetheart, Elton and Stoney know that I love ya.

They're just gonna think that I'm not too nice a guy, which I'm not...

and that you're a real hell of a good person for puttin' up with me, that's all.

You'll just find me dead one time.

Just kill me.

Shh.

Come on, be a good girl.

You ever really get up and leave me...

you'll read about it in the newsprint.

I'm not gonna get up and leave you.

Now, come on.

Let's go over to Elton's and have a good time.

You love me, Bobby?

What do you think?

Fuck.

You got banana on your face.

I do?

I still ain't figured out how you got me workin' back out here.

I got you to come and work out here?

I ain't figured out how you let me get you to come out here and work on these rigs.

I've never worked on these damn things before. You've worked on 'em before.

I can't figure out how you let me get us out here.

Somebody had to look out for you.

You're a mess.

You're crazy.

- All right. I'm gonna bet two dollars right off. - I'm in.

- I think you're bullshittin' me now. - Well, I have to see it.

- What you got, Bill? - A pair of nines.

- Can you beat two pair? - There's three aces right there, natural —

- Oh, you pull me. - I pull — I got me a hand!

I think it's time for me to go home. See you in the mornin', boys.

- See you in the morning, Glenn. - I don't know if I'm goin' out there tomorrow at all, man.

I've — I got a — I got a lot of money tied up in everything I got.

- -

I don't want no chains going around and all this.

It's all right, but I prefer card playing. Where is it?

What the hell is goin' on in the middle of this game?

People talkin' and all this. We got money here or what?

Okay. When I was four, just four years old...

I went to my mother and I said, "What's this hole in my chin?"

I saw this dimple in my chin in the mirror and didn't know what it was.

And my mother said — Guess what my mother says.

She says, "When you're born, you go on an assembly line past God.

"And if he likes you, he says, 'You cute little thing,' and you get dimples there.

And if he doesn't like you, he goes, 'Go away.'"

So, about six months later, my mother found me saying my prayers...

and I was going, "Now I lay me down to sleep."

My mother says, "What are you covering up your chin for?"