Queerpanorama (眾生相)

Please mind the gap.

Come on in. The door's open.

- Hey. - Hey, hey.

I'm still working on something.

Just make yourself at home, I'll be done in a second.

Take your time.

And I have two cats. This is Dovey.

I hope you're not allergic.

No I'm not.

- Do you listen to music? - Yeah.

- Can I play you something? - Sure.

What do you think?

It's nice.

Wow. That means it's not good enough.

I didn't say that.

- Do you want something to drink?

I have tea,

mint tea, jasmine, Earl Grey.

I also have some beer and Coke in the fridge.

- I'll have Earl Grey thanks. - All right.

So you're a musician?

Yeah, it's my new thing.

I'm also a DJ and I host some raves.

I have one next month on the 22nd, you should come.

What do you do exactly?

I just press some buttons

and I hope for the best.

I mean, what do you do for a living?

- I'm a scientist. That's why I live near HKU.

Oh, do you have milk?

With your tea? That's disgusting.

I never understood why locals do that.

Why not?

Is it a colonial thing?

It's like a normal thing.

I'm not judging.

I'm Erfan by the way.

I'm coming.

Come inside.

- You come too? - Yeah.

Are you already a scientist?

Is that what you were thinking about

the whole time we were fucking?

Maybe.

Tell me your secrets,

ask me your questions.

What about you? What do you do?

I am.

Don't bullshit me.

I'm an actor.

Are you famous?

Should I know you? - No.

Why did you ask? Please no.

What movies have you been in?

I want to watch them. - They're just bad.

- Well I like bad movies. - Please.

Makes me wanna watch them even more.

Just forget about it.

- If you hate acting so much, then why do you do it?

Well,

I like to observe people and pretend to be someone else.

Interesting.

- And what makes you want to be a scientist?

- Science reminds me that I am a tiny little dot

in a complicated universe of things.

Like how?

- You want me to bore you with the details?

Oh, try me.

All right, have a seat.

So I study bacteria. - Mm-hm.

And science has taught me

that the world is really interconnected,

and the small things teach you a lot about the big things.

Are you with me?

Yeah.

- So bacteria behave a certain way in a group, for example.

But when you have a closer look,

they actually can be very unique,

which has taught me a lot about how people work.

For example, in Hong Kong,

you look at people in general

and they can be very shy and sometimes a little bit rude,

but when you look up close,

they turn out to be quite different.

And that's what science has really taught me,

that we'll never learn the whole picture,

and we like to pretend like we know shit but we don't.

So you study so much

and you understand that we don't know much after all.

- Well some science has real medical implications.

For example, the first baby with genetic material

from three people was born already.

Why do we do that?

Well some people have genetic illnesses

and the genetic material from a healthy third person

can actually help them out.

- So we can now mix DNA from many different people

to produce babies.

- Yeah, and we've done it in animals and plants for a while.

I guess now, humans.

Yeah, we now do that to people.

With incurable genetic disease.

Okay.

And how about a gay couple

who wants to combine their sperms and put that into an egg?

I don't know about the morality of that,

but I guess we could if you really want to.

How exciting.

- Well, I wouldn't wanna have kids nowadays anyway.

The world is like pretty fucked up right now.

Too late. I'm pregnant already.

Okay. I wanna get a shower.

Yeah, clean towels are over there.

So you haven't graduated?

- Yeah, 'cause I'm 24. What did you expect?

- Well I assume you're working at Hong Kong U?

- I am working in the laborious production of knowledge

and I get paid for it, so I call it work.

But I don't believe you're younger than me.

And I'm so, so, so offended.

What year were you born in?

I'm born in the same year

that Jesus was supposed to be resurrected.

First January, 2000.

No way. Show me your ID.

- You don't have to see God to believe in him.

That's why I don't believe in God.

Do you want me to go get it?

No.

I believe you.

Show me how to do it.

- I don't know how to ride that. That's my roommate's.

Is he gay as well?

No, he's straight and white

but still kind of nice, which is rare.

You would pass as white here as well.

- Excuse me. Now I'm like really fucking offended.

You don't think so?

No, I'm Iranian, and you're blind.

Well, sorry to offend you even more,

but we really need to consider anyone

more light-skinned than us, white.

- Bullshit, because Japanese and Korean people

are whiter-skinned than you are.

Do they count as white?

They're actually very like to us.

Fair,

but I'm Persian.

Do you want some beer?

I thought someone said he's from Iran.

- I'm Persian, and I just fucked a guy in the ass,

so you can put the dots together.

Bon appetit.

- Oh, I have to feed my cats. You can go ahead and eat.

I can wait.

I really want to get a cat too.

You should. You should adopt.

Don't shop, and you should get two so they're not lonely.

Yeah, but I can't.

Why not?

My boyfriend is allergic to cats.

You have a boyfriend?

Yeah, we are open.

I stated that on my profile.

I really didn't notice.

What did you think of my love tattoo while we were fucking?

What tattoo?

My love tattoo. It's in Chinese.

I didn't notice.

- Fine, I'm just like a joystick for pleasure.

Let's eat.

Yeah, enjoy.

You sing well.

You should consider becoming a singer.

That was better than, it's nice.

I've learned.

You should come to my raves.

I think it's gonna be even more fun.

Let's see.

I mean if you hate me and if you never

want to see me again, I understand.

I normally just do one now.

Why is that?

See, I've got a boyfriend.

I saw.

- But I'm interested in coming to your rave.

Is there gonna be drugs?

- Not for me, but people always come up to me

and they ask me for all kinds of shit.

They think I'm the coke guy.

You look more like the MDMA guy.

- Well I'm the, don't do any kind of drugs, guy.

I have a natural high from life,

and that's my real talent.

I see you've got so many talents.

You want me to write you a Persian poem?

What else can you do for me?

- I can do everything but Persian's a really poetic language

and I think it's an easy one, so try me.

All right.