Animal Control

Thank you so much for coming.

We had the Amazing Donald performing between periods

and his rabbit got away.

Oh, we are very familiar with AD.

Congrats on the charges being dropped.

He lost 200 pigeons at a corporate event last month.

Come on! Get that bunny off the ice!

Oh, the crowd's getting restless.

- -Alright. Let's do this, Shred.

-Ok. -Ok.

Woah!

-Hey! -

We're the good guys!

Don't engage them. They're hockey fans.

They'll start throwing stuff, like their babies.

Hold on, hold on.

Hey! Get him!

- -Okay, excuse me.

Can I get a stick?

Okay. Here we go.

Ok. Here we go. Ok. Ok.

I'm coming. Here I come.

You got it!

You got it, Frank.

Nice and easy. Just hop in there, bunny.

I think I just invented a new sport.

Yeah!

Woooo!

Man, your dating profile is fire, Frank.

Look at that picture of you gardening.

I don't even know what vegetable that is.

It's so cool.

It's a parsnip.

And you should probably familiarize yourself

with organisms on your intellectual wavelength.

If I didn't know you were real I'd think you're fake.

Man in uniform saving kittens, community garden, 6'4"...

Ashley and I have been messaging non-stop

since we matched two weeks ago.

Isn't getting to know people the best?

But it's weird because I now know so much about her.

I helped her pick out a rug.

I mean, we talk about everything

except for going on an actual date.

That's how dating is now.

It's why the birth rate is declining.

No. I'm gonna speed things up. I'm gonna call her.

That's a mistake. Nobody calls.

Well, why would there be a call button on the app

if nobody does that?

Truck 12 calling for back-up.

Frank is trying to call a lady out of the blue on a dating app.

Truck 8 responding.

Don't do that. Nobody does that. It's weird.

I'm calling.

Standing by.

Hello?

Oh hey, Ashley, it's Frank.

Ok.

I know that, um, we've been messaging a lot,

but I thought that uh, we could actually talk.

And here's me talking. How are you?

To be honest, a little uncomfortable.

Ooh, that's not good.

Frank, watch your angle.

From that low you're all neck. There you go.

Uh, do you want to go to dinner sometime?

The call dropped.

Oh, that was a delightful train wreck.

Delightful.

How did they find me?

No way.

No. Another gift from your secret admirer?

Yes, Blummies.

A what?

Which is crazy, I don't know how they found these.

What are Blummies?

Blood gummies?

Hmm.

Never caught on outside New Zealand.

There's so many of them.

I mean, do you guys want a pack?

I'll take some home. Rick's an adventurous eater.

He once ate yogurt that had been expired for two days.

Mmhmm, crazy.

Hold on, this says that my secret admirer is finally ready

to reveal themselves tomorrow morning at 9:00.

You're not actually into this walking, talking,

future true crime podcast, are you?

Well, they're really trying.

And not in a creepy, calling-out-of-the-blue

-on a dating app kind of way. - True.

Yeah, it's not creepy at all to send blood-based candies

from an undisclosed location.

That's extortion!

Shred, get over here!

Our house flip is about to flop.

The bid from the contractor came in. It's $10,000.

For a simple paint and carpet job?

For a simple paint and carpet job!

Ok, you're out, Greg.

Going with plan B. See ya. Patel. Send.

Ok, well we probably should've had a quick side bar.

But it's cool. What's plan B?

Uh, plan B is we do it ourselves.

Hell yeah.

Right?

Are we capable of that?

Not only are we capable, we cost zero dollars.

Ok, then yet again, hell yeah!

Pssst.

- -Sorry.

Um, hey. So I know someone that works at the DMV.

Oh, no one likes a braggart.

She ran the plates on the car that dropped off

the Komodo dragon, no hits.

Oh. So, fake plates? Wait, what's that?

Good point. Maybe a stolen car.

That's what she thinks, so she's gonna keep digging

and let me know if she finds out anything else.

Ok.

So... I heard about the call.

Yeah, I used my phone calling device

to make an actual call to a person.

What a weirdo I am.

Sorry, online dating sucks.

Yeah. It's a hellscape of personality disorders.

I don't know why I can't just meet someone in real life.

Totally.

Through a friend or something, right?

Right.

I mean, that way you could find somebody compatible

and possibly have a shot at an actual relationship.

Exactly, 'cause actual dating is the worst.

-Yeah. It's the worst. -Mmhmm.

I mean, do you have somebody in mind or whatever?

I really don't care... whatever.

Wait, are you-- are you actually asking me

to set you up with somebody?

Please, I'm 6'4”. I don't need help dating.

Do you have somebody in mind or whatever?

I really don't care... whatever.

Wait, do you not want my help or do you want my help?

'Cause I actually have someone in mind.

What's she like?

Ok, I'm confused so I'm just gonna call Rick.

Hey there, long legs.

Hey Rick, you're on speakerphone with Frank.

What's up, my man?

Um, so what do you think about Tiffany for Frank?

Uh, I love it. Frank, she's great.

She's a physical therapist.

And she's also into gardening

so you have that in common.

Mmm?

Oh, great.

And not that this matters in the least, but...

how would you describe her looks?

Take me off speaker.

Ok.

Here.

I'm in.

I hope he likes Tiffany.

Oh, I'm sure he will, she's great.

And they have to like us as a couple, too.

Yeah, we need 'em for game night.

I just think Frank and Tiffany would be perfect together.

Do you think they would go apple picking with us?

I'm getting sweaty just thinking about it.

Wait, yeah, you don't-- you don't look so great.

Oh, what's-- what's happening?

Oh. I think I overdid it on the Blummies.

-Oh, ok. -Give me that bag.

Uh, what-- what bag? There is no bag!

Wait, do you want this?

Oh.

Just like anything, like a receipt or...

Stop doing that 'cause I'm a sympathetic vomiter.

It's climbing.

Oh, Frank, hey.

I'm so sorry, um, Rick's actually in the parking lot.

He overdid it with the blood candies

and he's now sneezing diarrhea,

um, so we need to go to a car wash

and then probably an urgent care.

Everyone heard. No one's eating now.

Right. Ok, um, but I--

Oh, okay. Hey Tiffany this is Frank.

-Hi. -Frank, Tiffany.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

But I feel like I've seen you before.

Do you garden at the Queen Ann community garden?

I do. Are you plot 14B?

Yes, and you are 14A, right?

I am, yeah.

You have all of that amazing bok choy.

Gotta give credit to the 200 days

of annual rainfall that we get.