Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl here-- your one and only source

into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

The truth is I was jealous.

You're the star of Dan's book.

Do you live in this building?

No, I work here. Can I help you find something?

I'm looking for my ex-girlfriend, Ivy Dickens.

Ivy?

Max.

I'm here with someone,

and I should really go find her.

Her name's Serena.

Serena Van Der Woodsen?

What happened to your date?

My date stood me up.

The only way for Blair to move on

is if she thinks I never will.

I had to kiss her to set her free.

I just found out you were taking money

to reveal information about me.

Chuck destroys everything, and he'll never change.

But what's scaring me is that you're changing into him.

No, Louis, you should go on your trip.

Besides, a few days apart would be good for us.

A shower is supposed to make you feel fresh and clean,

but on the Upper East Side,

they're where I get the most dirt.

And B.'s bridal shower tonight promises to be

an absolutely filthy affair.

The only two people left off the list--

Number one...

Honestly, a mutt?

No wonder Blair chose Louis over you.

Totally right call, B.T.-Dubs,

'cause you are so the opposite of royalty.

Still, how royally miffed are you

that you weren't even invited to the shower tonight?

Girls, I have been trying very hard lately to be good.

Yet I don't feel the slightest pang of guilt

unleashing my attack dog right now.

And I should warn you.

He's trained to go after fake Prada.

Good boy, monkey.

"As for number two? In high school,

"D. got left off the list because no one knew who he was.

"Now it's because they know too well.

"Looks like lonely boy needs to change his name

to 'Banished boy.'"

Yeah. Really, guys? Thank you for the support.

Well, listen, I mean, at least they're still talking about you.

If they weren't, I'd start worrying.

Well, that might happen soon, since "Inside" is off

the best sellers list.

But the rest of the book tour went better, right?

Yeah, it did. It did much better.

I mean, my hand's still kinda sore

from having to sign all those copies.

See? Just give it time. Things will turn around.

Charlie, how are you feeling?

Fine, thanks. Hi, Dan.

Hey.

What's with her?

I should go talk to her. Oh, uh, Rufus,

the table and linen delivery people

are gonna be here any second.

I can't believe I agreed to throw a party

we aren't even able to attend.

You are such a good mom.

Thank you.

Well, I think I'll pass on watching you guys set up

for a party that I'm not invited to.

Who is it?

Someone completely undeserving or your love and affection.

I come bearing gifts-- every perfume

Santa Maria Novella has to offer.

Feel free to bash the imperial lavender

over my head if you'd like.

That won't be necessary.

I know I did some really stupid things

before I left, but I've come back a better man.

I promise you.

I believe you.

And I'm glad because I need you to be

your best prince charming at our shower tonight.

What are all these?

Hostess presents for Serena.

I had some pieces flown in

from her favorite antique store in Paris.

It's the least I could do to say thank you

for whatever perfect evening she has planned for us.

They're beautiful.

But how--how do you know it's going to be perfect?

Because Serena's my best friend,

and she knows what I like better than anybody.

I'm sure it'll be a lovely party.

But? What--what are you saying?

Nothing. It's just, I've done some thinking while I was gone,

and I'm starting to wonder if your friends

really have your best interests at heart.

Hey, thanks for coming by on a Saturday.

I really appreciate it.

I know I've been critical of some of the choices

you've made in the past,

but I couldn't be more proud

of everything you accomplished here.

Hmm. Well, I'm working hard.

And I have to say,

it feels good to have gotten this far on my own.

Nate, I need you to approve the layout

for the new style section.

And who might this be?

My grandfather, William Van Der Bilt.

This is my boss, Diana Payne.

Oh, it's a pleasure, Diana.

I'm very impressed by your whole organization.

Congratulations.

I couldn't do it without your grandson.

He's our rising star.

Nate, the graphic department's waiting.

All right.

I'll see your grandfather out.

All right.

Thank God!

Why haven't you returned any of my calls?

I'm totally freaking out.

What's going on?

Uh... Diana fired me.

My ex-boyfriend just shows up out of nowhere.

I feel like the truth is gonna come out any second

if I don't just leave right--

Listen to me. You can't go anywhere.

If you disappear, Cece could cut off my trust for good.

Sorry, but that's your problem.

Actually, it's your problem,

because if the money stops, then I have nothing to lose,

and I'll make sure whatever happens to me

happens to you, too.

I didn't get mad when you didn't want to move out of here.

I didn't get upset

when you didn't want to convert to catholicism.

That has nothing to do with my friends.

Yes, it does.

It's about the sacrifices you make for your partner.

And what have you sacrificed?

You spent your whole trip bonding with your family,

who hates me.

They're my family, Blair.

But I've created some much needed distance

between me and them, and I think you should

do the same with your so-called friends.

This just in. We hear B. took a paternity test

to find out which daddy makes three.

See? This is exactly

the type of thing I'm talking about.

You think someone I know sent that?

Your friends know no loyalty.

Each one rats out the next,

and you and I get sucked right into it.

My friends and I have grown up.

We're not like that anymore.

Whoever sent that is clearly from your bloodline--

namely your sister Beatrice.

As if she would do that right after we made up.

This was one of your friends,

and I'll prove it to you.

Hmm, well, good luck, because I happen to know

my friends always have my back. Serena?

I know you're busy with something for tonight,

but I really need your help.

Sorry, B., can't talk. Too much work. Later!

I don't appreciate

you just turning up unannounced like that.

Would you mind telling me what's going on?

I was about to ask you the same thing.

I woke up this morning to find a big picture of you

in "The New Yorker," with Nate in the corner

as "the man by your side."

It's supposed to be the other way around, remember?

Sorry. I don't control every publication in New York.

My goal was to remake Nate, not to make you a star.

It's time for you to step aside,

give him "The Spectator."

What? That wasn't part of the deal.

Nate's got talent, but he's still green.

He's just not ready.

Since I am the majority investor in this entire operation,

it's within my power to fire you and put him in charge.

All I need is another month to achieve my goal.

That's too long.

You have three days,

or you're out of a job.

Humphrey, you lost? What are you doing here?

I thought since you're the only other person

not invited to Blair's shower,

we could hang out today.

What did you have in mind?

A trip to the IFC Center to catch a film no one's heard of,

then to Shakespeare & Company to see

who's not buying your book?

No, see, you're the new and improved Chuck Bass.