Host

Hello?

Sorry.

Can you let me in?

- Hi. - Hey.

You ready for tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, it should be fun.

Um. Have you ever done anything like this before?

- No. - No?

Yeah, it's... I've done it a few times,

and it is really cool. Like...

Does anything ever happen?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, every time I've done it, it's been...

Like, something has gone on.

Sounds spooky.

It'll just be a little different.

Um...

- Oh, she's back. - Yay.

Are we just waiting for the other guys?

Yeah. Caroline just messaged me

and said she was running a little bit late.

Okay. There we go.

- Ooh. - I think you needed to, uh...

turn off the phone audio.

Ooh.

You got to turn off the phone audio, I think.

Maybe mute... mute yourself on one' or"'

Aah...

- Uh... - Okay.

Yeah.

That's good.

There she is.

Sorry, do you mind if I just send a really quick e-mail?

Oh. Yeah, no, no.

Go for it.

Yeah.

Hi, guys.

- Hello. - Hi.

- How are you? - Good. How are you?

I'm nervous.

What's there to be nervous about?

It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fun.

- Hey, guys. - Radina!

Hi! How are you?

- Radina. - Oh, my God.

Your hair' s so lovely and curly like that.

- Thank you. - Hello, girl.

Hello.

Oh, is it something?

- Oh. - She's coughing.

I'm fine, guys.

People are not allowed to cough anymore.

This is ridiculous.

No, you have to hide a cough with a fart now

instead of the other way around.

That's true.

Tuck it in.

- Oh, Caroline! - What?

Caroline!

Caroline, there's something on your face.

My pores are not doing well in lockdown, so...

- Oh. - Hello.

- Hi, Pat! - Hi, Pat.

Did you ask if he's staying indoors?

No, he's not staying indoors, are you?

No, no, no, no, no. I like the sunshine.

Oh, Pat, you've got to be careful.

I absolutely love it.

Oh, my God. Put it away.

- You're such a flirt! - Oh, my God!

Bye, Dad.

I love your dad.

You should invite him tonight.

I don't think his heart could handle it.

He' s so cute. He's been so naughty, though.

Just keeps going out, and then I have to...

I have to, like, chase him down the street,

and I'm like, ' "ad, stop it!"

Just excuse me for one second.

Is she okay?

Yeah, she's alright.

Eh, it doesn't look alright.

It's a weird situation, isn't it?

Well, they should have never

moved in together for lockdown.

Yeah, you don't know a person in that short of time.

Well, what do you know?

- Radina. - Hey.

Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

Oh, my God, yeah. Totally fine.

It's like, when we have an argument,

he just goes to the bedroom.

Now I have all this space.

Hey, guys. Look at this.

This is gonna be us later.

Emma. Not funny.

Oh, I don't like that.

It's gonna appear behind you, Caroline.

Oh, shut up.

- Emma. - Wait.

Wait, look what I did. Hang on.

It takes a while.

This is what lockdown's led me to.

Look, look. It's me.

- Oh, my God! - Got a twin.

- Oh, no. - There's two of you.

Yeah, no. I got lonely, so I made a friend.

Oh, my God, guys, I heard from Teddy.

He's actually gonna be there tonight.

- Oh, he is? - Hang on. Are you serious?

Thought I'd give you the heads up, Caroline.

Yeah, thanks for that. A bit late.

Got this shit on my face.

Have you seen his Instagram posts?

The one with Jinny or the other one with Jinny?

Or the first one with Jinny?

Her parents' house is, like, a mansion.

He' s so different now. Like...

Well, it's her. She' s so fucking painful, guys.

You'd never put them together, 'cause Teddy is the opposite.

Well, you can have, like, three conversations

with her in rotation and that's about it.

And I've definitely seen her, like, fake tan hand marks.

- Like... - Hi, Teddy!

- Hi, Teddy! - Hi!

- Hey. - Hey, buddy.

- Hey. - Hi, Jinny.

- How you doing, guys? - Hey, Jinny.

You made it. How's it going?

Oh. Gin and tonic there.

You're fancy now.

Quarantine has really done you good.

Oh, it's delish. Hang on.

I'll come inside. The signal's...

Yes.

Just living the life by the pool.

- Oh, no. - Oh, come on.

- Bye, Jinny! - Bye!

Oh, my God.

You coming on your own, Ted?

Uh, yes. Big boy stuff.

I'm allowed all by myself with you lot.

- Aw. - You got a little man-bun going.

When did you get a man-bun?

I think it's a twat knot from corona.

Shall I give you a little tour around?

- Yes, please. - Hang on.

Check this guy out.

Oh.

- Very creepy. - So creepy.

Yeah, what the fuck?

You literally have no fucking idea

how close this thing is. Yeah, let's check out the...

Is that a bar behind you?

Yes. Yeah, it is.

The fucking hardest thing is not getting cunted

in front of her dad. There' s so much booze here,

and yes, it's not exactly like I can bring out

Red Ted from the naughty Nottingham days.

Oh, Red Ted.

But it's weird being with her and her parents.

They've got these weird rules, like...

Like, no Pornhub in the dining room, and, uh...

- How are you surviving? - Barely.

Barely. I'm a man on the edge.

I'm a man on the edge.

Ted, how are you feeling about tonight?

- Do you have your item? - I do.

Yeah, yeah, I've got it.

Bro, this is how seriously I'm taking this fucking thing.

I went home to... I broke quarantine

to go and get this, so...

You? I'm telling.

I'll make this as atmospheric as I can.

- Ooh. - Wow. Oh, my God.

Fuckin' creepy. You hear it?

- Yeah. - Yes.

So, basically, it was... It's my nan's, but I fucking...

I literally fucking hate this, 'cause my brother...

He used to be a right little shit.

He'd go and hide it around the house,

and it used to scare the shit out of me.

I genuinely used to cry.

To be honest, when I hear that music, it's um...

ooh! It's fuckin' horrible.

It's horrible. So, this... this is his.

God bless him. If it's playing, watch out.

That is so creepy. Sorry. That is...

Are you lot looking forward to it?

I'm a bit nervous.

I'm absolutely shitting here.

Why?

I really don't want to do it.

It'll be fine.

The woman is a friend of mine,

so she's done it a bunch of times for me.

She'll kind of guide everybody through it.

You kind of just have to follow her instructions.

Just, please, she is a friend of mine.