Cassandre

When I was born, the midwife said, "it's a girl."

"Impossible," my mother grumbled, "I was on a boy diet."

And everyone cried, except me.

To comfort my sisters, my mother said:

"Oh well, we'll just have to get used to her vertical smile."

She wanted a little brother for my older brother.

It's more practical for playing.

She loved him unconditionally because he was fragile.

He had nearly died at age 2,

and she had waited until I started school

before deciding to enroll him there too.

At the end of elementary school, I was a year ahead,

and he was a year behind.

So we ended up homeschooling.

- You idiot. - You're the idiot.

And that year,

my dad decided to pass on his passion to us.

You're dripping!

After a year,

his grades were terrible.

Are you scared? It's okay to fall.

They sent him to the priests and then to the United States

so he could learn English.

Beautiful, Cassandra.

Wonderful.

And me, they sent me to a military boarding school so I could get

the best education possible.

- Thank you, ma'am, have a safe trip. - Bye 1002, have a great vacation.

I should've known that with my vertical smile,

I wasn't going to be laughing for long.

I'm here!

I'm hungry!

Set the table!

My name is cassandre Mariam David.

Cassandre is

the name of the first girl my father ever loved but never got.

Mariam, the woman he married in Africa to avoid stds.

And David is the name of my late uncle

that I would have had if I'd been a boy.

We need to set the table.

It's the return of philiphil from Philadelphia.

You almost got expelled?

Philiphil is back.

I don't want a skinny girl.

I warned you, this is just the beginning, i' take it all while they're sleeping.

I don't care, sis, I'll go graffiti all their dogmas.

I take signed photos of Bill Clinton.

Mom bought you all this?

He's still at it. Sweetheart, go on!

Philiphil, we need to rekindle the flame.

You've grown so much in a year.

I'm writing this text.

I'm writing...

In first grade, he wrote a love letter to a girl.

She showed it to the whole class. It traumatized him.

After that, he became allergic to dust mites

and wanted to play house with me all the time.

We have to set the table.

Oh, look! She looks just like aunt albertine.

"Hello, Cassandra."

Aunt albertine is prettier.

My mom hates cooking and eating.

- I hate fat people. - What a mess!

It's an ecological disaster!

She was an activist in may '68 and posed nude in hara-kiri.

She was a feminist, an anarchist, and an anti-militarist

and wanted to travel around the world in a Volkswagen bus.

But at age 23, she met my father.

And they got married five months later.

I wasn't ashamed of her, and things were going very well in bed.

They slept in separate rooms for 15 years

and says that love only exists in movies.

It's a reproductive strategy

for the survival of the species.

As a child, he dreamed of becoming an artist or a horseman.

Jerk.

And then he joined the army.

After a long-term sick leave and 8 years of psychoanalysis,

he thinks he's a misunderstood genius.

It's very painful to be 30 years ahead of your time.

Good soup without pesticides

made with tomatoes from the garden.

Your father is angry with the instructor,

you won't be going to the barracks.

Huh?

I signed you up for a club nearby.

Your mother signed you up for driver's ed.

You'll stop by the hair salon to find an apprenticeship

and pay us back for your license.

And that's how

that summer of 1998.

I was 14 and my brother was almost 18.

One, two, three.

It's getting closer, less than a kilometer away.

In this life, you need to have cash.

Let go of me, it's okay.

You know, money doesn't bring happiness,

but women love rich men.

Let go of me!

Wanna bet you can swim three laps without breathing?

You're on!

I'm going to show you a survival trick.

On your marks...

Ready...

Go!

- It's not working at all. - You're the one who laughed.

You have to make a suction cup and suck it out.

But that's lame.

What did you say?

I'll kill you for that.

I'm freezing, I'm going outside.

Traitor. You're abandoning me!

- Oh, but you have hair. - It's fine.

It's not good

to sleep in underwear. It needs to breathe.

It'll become a breeding ground for yeast infections.

I never wear panties, even when I go out on the town.

It's going to be hot, we need to close everything up.

I've lost 300 grams. I'll be able to eat.

Dry yourself off when you get out of the pool,

- you're splashing water everywhere. - You're annoying me.

Remember the way, you'll ride your bike later.

It'll tone your calves.

- 8 kilometers. - How much is that now?

46 cents, my dear. That's inflation.

You have to show who they're dealing with.

A good rider has to ride everything,

especially the nags from a lousy riding club.

Come on, get going.

Close your eyes.

Hello.

- Hi. - Where's the instructor?

- You mean the riding instructor? - He's at the riding arena.

Are you the new girl?

Where did you ride before?

At the cavalry regiment center

with the republican guard horses.

Wow.

Here are the boots for jumping.

Damn.

We don't wear them the rest of the time. They aren't shod.

When school starts, I'll take my g7

at the military high school. There's an equestrian program.

You'll see, it's pretty laid-back here.

Let me introduce you to Orion.

Fred is super nice.

- Doesn't he yell too much? - My dad?

Never.

I've never heard him yell.

But it works.

You push yourself harder that way.

My instructor yelled at me, and I improved really fast.

I got my g6 in three years.

Ok, everyone at a walk.

Long reins,

no stirrups.

Close your eyes. Is that you, Cassandra?

Have you found your seat?

So, legs, pelvis, and diaphragm relaxed,

jaws relaxed.

And you synchronize your breathing with your horse's.

That's good, there you go, relaxed.

Cassandre, keep your hands soft, don't lock him up.

Try to relax, breathe.

I get the feeling like you're holding your breath.

Don't you want to play? We're losing.

Well then?

Did you meet any cute guys?

No.

You smell like manure. Delicious.

Find a rich husband who'll pay for the horseback riding, given the price.

I don't want to get married or have kids.

We'll talk again once your hormones kick in.

You'll do what everyone else does. You'll find yourself a fine stallion.

Here, mom.

Thank you.

It was about time. They're at least 5 mm.

Can you imagine, you fall off a horse, you go to the hospital,

and all the paramedics seeing your pubic hair. How embarrassing.

Let me remind you that go is a game of territorial conquest.

Chess is a game of power conquest.

I know.

Why are you placing your stone there?

You have to conceal your strategy,

consolidate, anticipate.

Ouch, that really hurts.

Oh, come on.

You don't want an epidural, either?

She sounds just like my mom and her drama.

Her parents had just died in a bombing,

and she, at 15,

was hitting on her guardian,

and bam, pregnant!

Can you imagine,

the guardian's wife,

with that orphan on her hands,

the eldest one pregnant

and little dédé, who's 3 months old.

That my father came along.

He was very kind to marry my mother.