The Roses

Okay, so today's session, the ten things you love about each other.

Theo, you first?

Sure.

Um, one.

I would rather live with her than a wolf.

Did you say wolf?

Yeah.

Wow.

Uh, one, he has arms.

Well, I saw Dr. Munch once about a man without arms, and it looked like a

difficult life, particularly for the partner, so...

And luckily he has arms.

Yeah, it's fair.

Arms.

Two, the shape of her head is somewhat pleasing at a distance.

Three, I have memories of her being witty.

Four, she smells pleasant on occasion.

I actually struggle to write any more.

Two, his breath smells like an anchovy that's been on the piss all night.

Three, the way he laughs is like a diseased dog's death rattle.

Four, he's a bad father.

A fat lover, a complete dead shit, a victim, a loser, a wanker.

Number ten, Theo, what a cunt.

That wasn't the task.

Those are the things you hate.

It's not funny.

That is... that's actually quite funny.

I see so much resentment.

And defensiveness.

And inability to apologize to share your vulnerability.

These defensities are whiny babies.

That's vulnerability.

Verbal cruelty.

In England we call that repartee.

Self-righteousness, mockery, and inability to admit wrongs.

I don't think you have the capacity to fix your problems.

It's terrifying how close we came to losing each other.

Lucky us.

Lucky us.

Always helping.

Remember when we met.

Good day.

So I think this is a moment of celebration for all of us.

I think we can be very proud of this building.

Congratulations.

Dear God, he actually means it.

Theo, what did you say?

Sorry, I was just remembering how we got rid of the cascading garden balconies so

that we are denying the humans who will be living in these 700 featureless boxes the

chance to engage with fresh air, see a horizon, or maybe decisively embrace

the moment that living in their apartments makes them want to jump.

So really, people, when you think about it, we saved lives.

To us.

Right.

I mean, the balcony thing is actually a good example, Theo.

I detect a note of bitterness about it, but we all have to grind

ourselves and our witnesses' architects down to the office.

Sorry.

I just need a moment so I don't kill myself in front of my colleagues.

Interesting.

How would you do it?

Do you have a very large knife, anyone?

I do.

I'm easy to finish this, then.

I'll happily wait.

What is this?

A trap carpaccio?

Oh, wait, try me some of this.

Mmm.

Well, don't give him credit.

It's all me.

Dehydrated blackberry and anchovy.

I want to put it on there, but the chef won't let me.

How can we live like this?

Me, no cascading garden balconies.

You, no dehydrated thingy.

Personally, I'm moving to America next week to live free and become a chef.

Maybe I should join you.

We haven't even had sex yet.

That's an innocent way, though.

Very true.

Service!

Theo.

I do.

So weird, the toll buses.

And why are they red?

So you can see them, because it's so foggy.

Well, it's not so foggy there anymore, not since Jack the Ripper died.

Look, tri-tower bridge.

So this is licorice, and this dark chocolate, this

raspberry, and this, don't tell anyone, shrimp powder.

A fish!

A depth of flavour without the fishiness, go to your eyes.

Gosh!

Gosh, indeed!

Look, I know it's a museum, but it's supposed to

represent a sail on a ship, so it should feel like that.

You should expect pirates to come round the corner at any moment.

No, I'm joking.

Look, I want the sail.

The question you have to ask yourself is, how do you want to live your life?

With courage or without?

Thank you, and I'll send you the numbers.

Daddy!

We're eating British icolids!

Why are we so fucking hand-powered?

Yes, of course you are.

That's your big bear, and she's so warm and cooking.

Good.

I feel dizzy in my toes, Fizzing.

Yeah, amazing, of course.

But don't you think it might be a bit of a

problem turning that bloody, pretty sucrose?

Don't sugar-shame them.

But it is bad for the hour of long term, and they will get fat.

Buddha was fat.

He was great.

He was great.

But don't learn to self-manage.

If you restrict things, it leads to weird obsessions.

You're sick.

Ah, I do.

I see a girl learning her limits.

She doesn't learn limit-reach parenting for money.

Oh, dear.

Well, you're fine.

Can't you just admit you're wrong?

On the day that I am, I can.

But not on the day I built your building, soon to be the eighth wonder of the world,

here in Northern California, in Ra's Bridge to Oak Lake.

Oh, my God.

How did you do that, Mark?

You know the way to my ego.

My God.

Isn't your mummy brilliant?

Of course she is.

That's a rhetorical question you are in genius.

Agreed.

I sound good to go, then.

Stomach of Caligula.

You know the way to make your daddy proud.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not going to have some.

Roast, please.

Wait, wait, wait.

Roast, wait.

Ready?

I don't know.

Oh, no.

I am in genius.

Divine maniac.

We

Have the kids and the patriarchy sound that loud, say,

squash your dreams and facilitate children and husband.

Oh, yes, that note.

I don't know that note.

Big terse.

Quite sold this toy.

Agreed.

Well, look at this place.

It's been closed for a year.

Maybe a little bit out of the way, but I think it's cool.

And I've got that money from the design.

For the down payment to our dream house.

No.

My darling, most days you're making seven iconic desserts for three people.

Look, the amazing chef that you are and have always wanted to be should not be a

dream that dies on the crucifix of family life.

I love all that, though.

I mean, maybe for a couple of nights a week.

Oh, I can't thank you.

I think that's a yes.

Please lie.

Oh, and I know what we're going to call it.

You do.

Sir, we don't accept your arms.

No, we do.

It's for bed, bath, and beyond.

We do.

Oh, Geoff, we're closing work tonight for Hattie's soccer match.

Right, of course we are.

Bye, Geoff three.

Remember that you love me.

Is he that?

I'm troubled by humanity.

Maybe it's the name.

How about we cook for Lydia?

Catchy.

So where are we meeting our wonderful American friends?

What's up, buddy?

Good morning.

You guys are late.

This is how you lost the revolutionary.

I love her.

Finally, we got you here.