Marvel's Avengers Assemble

1x18 - Mojo World

All of them. Every last one.

Inconsiderate, gamma-faced glutton-head...

Next time, knock. What do you want?

What do I want? I wanted pickles!

Now? I just want some answers.

Can only deal with one girly scream at a time.

Girly?

You overgrown garbage disposal!

- How do you know it was me? - Aw, come on!

There it is. Pickle juice. I can smell it.

Big mouth for a small head.

Fine, yeah, I ate your stupid pickles.

Cry about it outside.

Hey, I remember these.

What are you doing?

Gotta say, there really is nothing like a little glass unicorn

to show off your soft side, Hulkie.

- Get away from that! - Get away from what... Ah!

I said back away!

That is it! I've had enough of your...

Scabby!

You know what? Just forget the pickles.

sync & correction by DIKIphd

- Ugh. Again? - Your turn, Captain hall monitor.

- Come on, give me a break! - Stop moving, and I will!

All right, look, you jade temper tantrum,

- this was totally your fault. - Your arrow. Your bad.

Hulk, Hawkeye... do you know what time it is?

- Time to smash! - He's bent out of shape over one of

- his stupid glass animals that fell. - You... you didn't...

- Hawkeye, did you mess with the zoo? - No. The zoo?

You got a death wish, Hawkeye?

Me? What about the pickles? Pickles!

- Are you recording this? - Indeed.

He's every bit as savage as Mojo said he would be.

Have we found my star attraction?

He is occupied. Engaged in a... what is the word?

- "Stand-off"? - Oh, of course. A classic.

Like an American cowboy.

Now, be good underlings and bring me the Hulk.

Accidents happen, Hulk. I'm sure Hawkeye feels bad about it.

I like watching him shake.

Take a step. I dare you.

- I wouldn't do that. - He didn't mean it, Hulk.

Dare me? You dare me?

Stand down, Hulk.

- Whoa! - Bet you're sorry now!

Now? Now I'm glad your glass doll is broken.

Doll?

Enough's enough, guys. This is embarrassing.

- I can't get a clear shot. - Take 'em both.

No, let him sweat, tin...

Oh, that's just great. Now what?

Get off me, you rage-filled, crystal-collecting...

Uh, Hulk?

I don't think we landed in a New York street.

This isn't right.

Ah, I see. We have received a parasitic life-form in error.

A bonus indeed.

Ladies, gentlemen, others.

Look what I've brought you.

Wait... "special guest"?

A gladiatorial arena?

Can't I ever be transported to some island paradise?

Or a ski slope? Or...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Down, boy! Down, boy!

Whoa! Hey!

A little help here, Hulk?

From arena 6c, aboard the Mojo ensign class warp-ship,

it's Mojo-pocalypse!

Tonight's combatants... Earth's emerald giant,

the incredible, the insatiable Hulk!

And a human hitch-hiking parasite that shoots sharp sticks!

This guy!

And finally, reigning Mojo-pocalypse champion,

Torgo!

- What are you waiting for, Hulk? - An apology.

Apologize? To you? You threw me out a window!

Happy?

Hulk?

The mighty... nay, the indestructible Hulk

felled by a single punch? Now that's good cookin'.

Let's hear it for him. Torgo!

Torgo! Torgo!

Now let's see how this, uh, hand-picked human place holder

fares against your 10-time tournament champion

- and all-around crusher. - Me?

Who gives you the best in cosmic entertainment?

Mojo! Mojo!

I can't hear you!

Torgo make quick.

Not the kind of pickle I wanted.

Torgo make bang-bang!

Not on Hawkeye, he doesn't.

Who's in charge here?

I sent you to Earth, the most unruly planet in the galaxy,

and this is what I get? Torgo needs a worthy challenger!

Who's this yellow-haired flesh bag?

He's messing with my show.

Teleport green meanie back in there before I fall asleep

watching this yawn-fest.

And bring me seven buckets of krill.

Mojo hungers. Go!

And look who's back wanting more! The inescapable Hulk.

We're on the verge of a nasty comeback,

and I can only get 5.2 billion to watch?

It's the sports event of a lifetime.

The whole universe should be tuned in!

Here's metal in your eye!

Torgo bless you with one... two!

Torgo smash!

That's my line!

- Nice double, Hulk. - Home run.

Total knock-out?

Hulk is the new champion!

Hate paparazzi.

You may be the champion of the arena,

but I'm the undefeated master of public opinion.

What does an audience adore even more than a champion or an underdog?

A rematch!

Torgo say night-night, green-green.

Come on, green-green. Up and at 'em.

- What happened? - Torgo made bang-bang.

I thought you were Mojo's BFF warrior lapdog.

What is this? A trick?

No. Torgo prisoner, like you.