The Librarians

Where was that taken? Camp Dingaroo, the staff retreat.

How is Dawn?

Oh, the same as she was

before the accident.

What, without the use of her legs?

Oh, Nada, I'm really sorry.

What you gotta do to get a job around here?

NElL: 280 counts of mail theft normally does it, like.

You want to show that judge

that you're a steady, reliable, mature woman,

holding down a respectable job.

Then maybe he'll overlook your past relationship with a gangster.

You were my best friend,

and you left me in that caravan park with a $772 bill!

If you give me the job, I can pay you back.

That Christine. I think she'd be great for the job.

But I'm afraid she doesn't meet the criteria.

I'll dob you in. I seen what you did.

Let me hear it! We are an awesome team!

Whoa! Frances!

Christine Grimwood will be taking up the position of children's librarian,

effective immediately.

Goodness. She looks happy.

Oh, sorry. It was a pop-up.

Well, pop it back down. Uh, yep. Sure.

And that one.

Uh, yep. And that one.

Uh, don't know how that one, um...

Yeah. Final warning, Mr McNamara. Understood?

Uh, fair enough. Yep. Yep? OK?

Good.

Here, Dawn. I'll get those for you.

Oh, thank you so much, Christine.

Anything above 1 54.F895 is out of my reach.

Wow! You look amazing!

How... how does that one stay on?

Cute, isn't it?

You can borrow it if you like.

Yeah, that'd be... that'd be great.

Sweetheart, I wanted to

talk to you about my pay.

It's just, well... I'm kind of broke.

Oh.

I'm really sorry, Christine, but I haven't been able to put it through,

because I'm waiting on that yellow form that I gave you.

What form?

The yellow one. The one for the police check.

Nope. I didn't get that.

Whoops!

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Quickly. Just move it along.

Can I still get my pay anyway?

Yes! Just want 'em...

Oh! Come on! How do you spell it, then?

Are you right? Yes.

Strong bookings tonight, Lachie. Art is alive and well in Middleton.

Yeah. The fact that he'll be naked has nothing to do with it.

Hey, does anyone have any spare change for the vending machine?

Is that art thing tonight? Yeah.

Oh, Ky, I can't. I'm sorry.

But why?

Tonight's my dyslexic management class.

I thought it was Thursdays.

Me too. Actually, I think I've been doing lntroductory Small Business.

If I may be so bold, Ky, I would take great pleasure

in offering my services for you this evening.

As you know, I'm a keen nudist.

'X'... 'Z'... ( Growls in frustration )

May I please be excused from the front counter?

I need to set up a podcast in the children's library.

I don't see why not.

Thanks.

Franny, can I have a quick word about my pay?

Sorry, Christine, I can only do five things at once.

Ky. Was watering that plant number six?

Well, I don't think

you'd all be laughing

if I told you this had been stuffed in the returns chute.

You need to speak to Dawn about your pay.

Yeah, look, as lovely as Dawn is,

she's a little... you know.

I thought I'd ask the boss to help out. Push it through for me.

I don't even have enough money for petrol.

Well, that's funny.

I remember when I had no money

and had trouble getting home from Wilsons Promontory 1 9 years ago

because my friend drove off and left me,

and I seemed to manage fine without any help!

Please, won't somebody help me?!

I can't believe you're still going on about that!

Oh, I don't have time for this.

Take your pay issues up with Dawn.

How long have you had the hots for Lachie?

I beg your pardon, Christine?

Oh, come on, Franny. You didn't hire him for his literacy skills.

So, I guess the only problem with me accepting the job, that I can see,

is, uh, that I'm dyslexic.

Mmm. Could you just spin around again for me?

Just hold.

Barbie, could you put this in the hopper?

And I know the light duties are a bit of a favourite,

but I really would like you to get onto the graffiti in just returned.

I don't think Barbie's quite clear on what it is she has to remove.

It's the usual male genitalia right above the CSlRO 'Wellbeing' books.

I don't think Barbie knows exactly what that is.

Well, I'm pretty sure they have the male organ in Hanoi.

Frances, should I get out the steam cleaner for Barbie,

or will it just be a hand job?

If she rubs it hard with the industrial cleaner, she should be right.

Could that pull it off, do you think?

I get it.

Barbie, I suppose you won't want to clean the penis -

you'll want to throw it in a wok with some beef and black bean sauce

and eat it! ( Laughs )

Oh, I see...

Oh, where are we?

Oh, uh, hang on...

I get it.

What about this?

Frances Jean Jude Mary!

Go to your room!

Yes, Mama.

Well, they eat dog.

Next, please.

( DAWN'S WHEELCHAlR APPROACHES )

Dawn, I'm sorry to hear you're stumped

about how to process Christine's pay.

The WorkCover people assured me that you'd be fine

to manage something very straightforward, like payroll,

if you had your special ergonomic desk,

but they might be wrong, do you think?

Oh, how lovely to see somebody normal, Father.

FATHER HARRlS: I don't get accused of that very often.

Nudist poetry retreat, Cradle Mountain, '03.

Oh, tell me it was freezing!

I'm the perfect choice for tonight's model.

Do you need me?

No, no. I'm here for my pastoral care session with Neil.

Oh. How's the ulcer?

Kevin's doing nicely, thank you.

I think I'm going to be on the antacid soon, Father.

Really? Mmm.

I think I might have mentioned to you after mass on Sunday

that I've taken on Christine Grimwood here.

Yes, you did.

I haven't spent that much time in the car park since the fete.

Oh, any good Catholic would have done it.

Do you think? She's a handful.

I shouldn't be surprised, given what we both knew about her in the past.

Is she trying your patience, Frances?

No. She's just very needy.

She's only happy if she's getting all the attention.

Meanwhile, there's still

a library to run.

Yes, there is. Hello, Nada.

Hello, Father.

Nice to see you. You too.

Ladies. Oh, Frances.

I've asked Lachie to podcast my ESL class as well.

Oh, one step at a time, I think, Nada.

What do you mean?

I think the focus needs to stay on the learning with your classes, don't you?

I mean, how long before everybody's speaking English, do you think?

About two generations. Yes. ( Laughs )

No. I think we should probably try and speed things along a bit.

For their sake.

Mmm.

Oooh.

Frances, the reason I'm having trouble processing Christine's pay

is that I can't get her to fill out the yellow form.

The police check?

"But the butterflies loved to fly and fly and fly and... "

Yum! Ha ha! Thanks, sweetie.

Whoops!

Are you not filling out the police check

because you've got something to hide?

What on earth would I have to hide?

Look, Maxi Bronze

is my boyfriend's business,

and I had no idea he was importing ecstasy in those sun beds.

I mean, I have never been

involved in drugs. Uh-uh.

CHRlSTlNE ON TAPE: Oooh!.

Oh. my God. Paul. you've got to get over here. This is insane!.

Oh. I've had some good gear in the past.

but these ppills are so bloody ppure.

and I am going off!.

And so's my topp. boys!

Whoo!

Parking fines. Parking fines?

That's why I haven't filled out the police check,

because I've got a few outstanding tickets.

Oh, more mess!

No!

There was this loading zone outside my house

and sometimes the times are really confusing

and the little...writing, and...